Enchanted
by nodistancelefttorun
Summary: Blaine likes Kurt, Kurt likes Blaine. But Kurt is dating Sam and Blaine doesn't think Kurt knows he exists. nerd!Blaine, cheerio!Kurt. Anderberry siblings.
1. Chapter 1

__**A/N: This is just a typical cheerio!Kurt, nerd!Blaine fic because I have a cold and I'm bored and I'm a sucker for Klaine. Also there's Anderberry because I really love them as siblings. ****So yep! ****R&R.**

* * *

_[Blaine's POV]_

He was in love. There was nothing more to it.

He had been very reluctant to believe that it was true, that what he was feeling actually was love, but the more he thought about it the more he came to realise that there was no other explanation. Why else would his stomach flutter with the wings of a thousand butterflies as soon as _he_ walked past him in the hallway, and why else would his knees go all wobbly every time he accidentally made eye contact with that perfect creature that couldn't possibly be described with human words.

It was pathetic and stupid and why did he have to fall for _him_ of all people? Couldn't he just settle for one of the girls from the school's chess club? There was this one girl who had asked him out a few months ago and he had almost accepted because no one had asked him out before, but it wouldn't be fair to either of them. He had no romantic interest in girls what so ever. He didn't even care that much for boys now a days. At least not any other boy than _him_.

He hated himself for how weak he was. He had fought his feelings for months and tried to bury them deep down but it was pointless. As soon as he set eyes on the boy in school, his insides turned to mush and he almost dropped dead on the spot.

The upside of being the invisible nerdy kid in school was that he could stare all he wanted and no one ever noticed.

But three months ago his heart had been so severely hurt he still hadn't recovered fully.

The target of his love interest, the fabulous Kurt Hummel, had recently been named head cheerleader of the Cheerio squad and his popularity had went through the roof. This was quite admirable as he was also openly gay in Lima, Ohio that was known for its homophobia.

Barely a week after his promotion, he and football quarterback Sam Evans publicly announced that they were dating.

That's when Blaine realised just how helplessly he had fallen. The pain in his heart when he saw the new couple together for the first time was indescribable. And then Sam had put his arm around Kurt and Blaine was convinced he would die right there and then.

That was three months ago but Blaine still felt a jab of pain in his chest every time the two of them walked down the hall together. He noticed that Kurt was more reluctant to show public affection than Sam was. Sam would casually walk up to Kurt in the middle of a hallway and pull him in for a heated kiss, whilst Kurt would rarely do much more than hold Sam's hand on his own accord.

Blaine figured this was because of the bullying based on his sexuality that he had endured before he joined the Cheerios. He must still be scared of being judged.

Being the top cheerleader combined with dating the most popular guy in school definitely kept him safe from his previous tormentors though.

It was a mystery how Sam had escaped getting bullied himself because he had been openly gay ever since he transferred to McKinley High School last year. But despite being gay he was the most popular guy in school from day one and even though some guys were a little stiff when they were in the changing rooms, no one bothered him or Kurt about their relationship.

* * *

"Blaine! Wait up!"

Blaine only barely caught the words before something – or rather someone – had flung itself on him from behind, almost making them both topple over.

"Jeez, take it easy, will you?", he laughed and turned to face his attacker.

It was one of his best friends, Tina Cohen-Chang.

"Are you going home?", Tina asked and motioned to the messenger bag hanging over Blaine's shoulder. He blushed slightly.

"Yeah."

"But what about Glee Club? We're preparing for Sectionals, you can't miss it!"

"But I'm so tired I won't do much good anyway."

"Come anyway. Please! Mike is home sick and I'll kill myself if I have to sit alone and watch Rachel pine after Finn for a whole hour."

Blaine heaved a great sigh.

Rachel, his extremely talented and equally annoying sister was really horrible to be around these days. She did nothing but complain and nag about how in love she was with Finn and how he and everyone else didn't appreciate her.

It wasn't just Tina who dreaded Glee club nowadays. The entire club was really sick and tired of all the drama revolving Rachel and her love interests. At least once a week Rachel would sing a heart-clenching love song to Finn. She would get really emotional, as she always got during her solos, and cry. Finn's girlfriend Quinn would get really upset and either run off or scream at Rachel for taking her man, and Finn would just sit there like an idiot while Santana made some sassy comment of how he looked like a big sack of potato.

"Yeah, okay, I'll come."

Tina beamed at him and tugged him along to the choir room.

He had really been looking forward to going home and doing a little studying before collapsing on the couch in front of the TV, but Glee club was okay too. He did love Glee, he really did. But it was a bit of a strain because Kurt and Sam were members too, and Sam was always looking for excuses to touch Kurt and it drove Blaine insane. Kurt didn't seem to appreciate it too much either, because every now and then he would hiss at his boyfriend to keep his hands to himself in public.

Kurt always sat in the back, usually to the left, and Blaine had his spot on the same row but to the right. It was easy to just glance over at him without anyone noticing. At least that's what he thought.

When they arrived the entire club were already seated. Tina took the only vacant seat in the front and Blaine sat down in his usual corner chair in the back.

"Alright gang! _Sectionals!_"

Blaine glanced over at Kurt and could practically feel how much he tried to resist rolling his eyes.  
Mr Schuester was overly excited about everything. He kept going on for god knows how long about Journey and how they should do a medley in their honour.

Blaine spent the time peeling off the thin coat of nail polish he had on his nails. Rachel liked to dress him up and style him every now and then – she was actually quite bad at it and had little to no taste, but Blaine was a really good brother and let her have her fun – and a few days ago she had painted his nails in a light blue shade. He had begun to take it off but she had asked him to keep it, so he did. It did look kind of nice anyway.

It was one of his nervous habits to bite his nails when he got nervous or restless, but now he could fiddle with the nail polish instead. If he kept this up, maybe he could keep his finger nails long and nice-looking for a little while longer.

"So, guys, should we decide on the solos then?", Mr Schuester asked.

Kurt's hand immediately shot up in the air. The only other who raised a hand was, of course, Rachel.

"Seriously? No one else wants a solo?", Mr Schuester asked disbelievingly.

"Of course we do but no one but Rachel gets them anyway so why bother", Mercedes said in that sassy tone of hers.

"That's not-"

"Well _excuse me_ but we all know I'm our best shot at winning Sectionals. I'm our biggest star. And you all want to win, don't you?", Rachel said and turned to Mercedes with a fierce glare.

"Don't make me go all Lima Heights on your ass!", Santana snapped.

"I'm sorry but it's true!", Rachel snapped back. Then her gaze drifted off to Finn who was holding hands with Quinn, and her superior smile vanished instantly.  
She turned back to look at Mr Schuester.

"Guys! Guys! I'm disappointed in you. What happened to being a team?", he said with his hands held up.

"Tell _her_ that!", Santana snapped.

"Look, Mr Schue, I just want a solo for once, that's it", Mercedes said.

"If anyone should get a solo it's me! I'm amazing. But as long as _hobbit_ here takes all the solos we all have to sway in the background as she woos Frankenteen."

Hobbit was a common nickname – or harassment tool, depending on how you looked at it – for the Berry-Anderson twins.

"I don't woo anyone, _Santana_!", Rachel shrieked, blushing furiously.

"Oh come on, you _so _want to get it on with him!"

"I don't want_ Finn_, I'm focusing on Sectionals now which we _by the way_ won't win if anyone but me sings the solo!"

"I just want Lord Tubbington to stop smoking", Brittany said seriously.

Her statement was only acknowledged by Santana who awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. The others dived right into the solo argument again, their voices getting louder by the second.

"Alright, alright! Guys, be quiet! Glee Club is over for today. Tomorrow you'll get this weeks assignment", Mr Schuester said loudly to overpower the yelling students.

The room erupted in a lot of shuffling of chairs as everyone got up and formed a line to leave the choir room. Tina went up to Blaine and queued with him.

"Dramatic, huh?", she said.

Blaine shrugged and stifled a yawn.

"Same old", he said.

"What do you think this weeks assignment is?", she asked curiously as they came out into the hall.

Blaine hoisted his bag further up his shoulder and shrugged again.

"Don't know. I hope it's not too weird though", he said.

Their eyes met for a few seconds, both dreading what crazy assignment Mr Schuester had set them this time. He often had really good lesson plans, but sometimes he just went absolutely crazy, like that time he forced them all to wear wigs and learn hairography. No one learnt anything worth knowing that week.

"Guess we'll have to wait and see", Blaine said, jokingly excited.

Though he was actually much happier now than before Glee club. Even though the class had been quite uneventful, except for the solo fighting, it always seemed to relax him anyway.

Tina laughed at his funny grimace. "Yeah, guess so. Are you heading home?"

Blaine was just about to answer when Kurt exited the choir room, Sam's arm flung around his shoulders. Kurt was laughing and telling some, apparently very funny, story. Then Kurt's eyes momentarily found his and Blaine was paralysed. But then Kurt quickly looked away again and continued his conversation with Sam as if nothing had happened.

Blaine's shoulders immediately drooped down, his good mood ruthlessly blown out of the waters.

"Yeah, I'm going home", he said gloomily.

Tina turned her head and she too saw the happy couple striding down the hall towards Kurt's locker.

She turned to him and was about to say something but then closed her mouth. They were kind of best friends but Blaine had never told her he liked Kurt. It was pretty obvious though, but she didn't want to embarrass him. She figured that if he wanted to talk he would come to her.

"See you tomorrow", she said and kissed his cheek before bounding down the hall in the opposite direction of Kurt.

Blaine followed Kurt's back with his eyes until the two boys turned a corner. Not even bothering to check if he needed anything from it, he slammed his locker shut and went straight home.


	2. Chapter 2

_[Kurt's POV]_

"_Damn_, boy, you're looking fine today!"

Kurt smiled to himself and continued lining up his books in a perfectly symmetrical row in his locker. "Thank you, Cedes."

His best friend Mercedes leaned against the locker next to his, grinning widely. "Sooo... how are things?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Fine."

"And how is Sammy boy?"

"Cedes, don't call him that, it's stupid."

"I think it's cute. And _he_ is cute."

"Yes, he is. That nick name though not so much."

"Lighten up!"

Kurt sighed and closed his locker. "Sorry."

He tucked his Geography book under his left arm and slipped his right one under Mercedes'.

"I think you need a girls' night", she said and patted him on the arm.

"Really, you think so?", he asked hesitantly.

"Totally! You've been spending so much time with Sam, I think you need some extra girl energy."

Kurt gave her a half-smile and hugged her arm a little tighter. "You know what, I think you're right."

"So, come over to my house tonight? I'll call the girls and we'll have some fun."

"Oh, I don't know if I can tonight. Sam has this whole football thing he wanted me to see..."

Mercedes raised an eyebrow. "Kurt, you hate football."

"I know I do, but I _am_ dating a quarterback so what can I expect?"

"Well, he should make some effort to do stuff you like too. You went to so many football related things last month you couldn't even hear the word football without feeling nauseous."

Kurt just shrugged. "He's busy."

Mercedes sighed. "You're obviously not in the mood right now so how about we just go to class and then we can go have lunch in the cafeteria. Okay?"

She tugged Kurt along with her down the hall.

A year ago, Kurt's goal would be to get through the day without getting slushied, or at least keep it to a minimum of one slushie. But now he didn't have to worry about that. The students parted for him and Mercedes as they did for Quinn or Santana or any of the other Cheerios. Becoming a Cheerio was the best decision he had ever made.

People respected him. Some even admired him. He was head cheerleader and he was dating the hottest guy in school. He was even able to stay in Glee club even though the majority of the school considered the Glee kids to be at the bottom of the popular chain. When Sam first asked him out, Kurt was a little hesitant because he didn't feel too comfortable fraternizing with the jocks after they had made his life hell for so long. But Sam was persistent and assured him that he really liked him, so they went out on a date and Kurt actually had kind of fun.

And then Kurt got named head cheerleader and Sam, without Kurt's consent, decided to go public with their 'relationship'. And then Kurt's popularity went off the radar and who was he to say no to that. And Sam was nice, funny and _really_ cute. Kurt really did like him, even if he had been a little thrown off at first by the fact that he sometimes was dumb as sand. But he did like him.

He should be the happiest boy alive. But for some reason he just wasn't. He was still under a lot of pressure, although the circumstances had changed. Before he had worried about physical violence, slushies, bullies, grades and so on. He was now under constant pressure to stay fit for the Cheerios, improve his voice for Glee, keep his grades to please his dad and remain a faithful dedicated friend at the same time as he tried to keep Sam interested. He had been hinting that he wanted to 'go to the next level', which Kurt was no way near close to ready for. Yes, he might be a little of a prude but he was really sensitive with that stuff and his boyfriend should respect that. Right?

But given Sam's history he felt extra nervous that he would slip off the wagon again if Kurt put off sex for too long. Sam was... flexible with his sexuality. He still wasn't sure if he liked girls or boys. Or both.  
And he was a really nice, funny guy and Kurt hoped he would never hurt him, but he didn't know whether Sam's sexual drive was strong enough to push him to cheat. He had done it before, after all.

Simply put, he was just really torn and stressed out. And now Sectionals for Glee was coming up and he really wanted a solo but he knew he would have to fight Rachel for it and she _always_ won.

Stupid Rachel and her talent and her animal patterned sweaters. Like, really, what was she thinking when she got dressed in the morning?

* * *

"So, what do you guys think Mr Schue has planned for this week?", Mercedes asked and took a sip of the protein shake coach Sue Sylvester forced every Cheerio to drink to stay thin. Mercedes had been trying to lose weight for over a month now and it was finally paying off. She barely ate anymore, and Kurt was really getting worried about her.

They were currently all sitting at the Cheerios table in the cafeteria.

"I just hope it's not anything Journey related", Quinn said and rolled her eyes.

Her beautiful blonde hair was tied up in a tight ponytail, as were the rest of the girls'. They were all in their Cheerios uniforms as usual. Kurt had come to really appreciate wearing his uniform, even though every now and then he freaked out because he absolutely _hated_ dressing the same way day in and day out. Wearing a Cheerio uniform in school immediately set you up on a pedestal. People never argued with you or got in your way.

Life was just simpler. And yes, sometimes he hated that he had become what he used to despise, but then he reminded himself that he was really just looking after himself. He wasn't afraid to go to school any more. Or at least not as afraid as he used to be.

He took a sip of his own protein shake. He didn't even flinch at the hideous taste. After months of being a Cheerio, he was finally used to it.

"I bet he's going to make us do mash-ups again", he said and raised a knowing eyebrow.

"Why?", Brittany asked.

"He always does that when we're fighting. Trust me, we'll be doing either mash-ups or another off the hook-crazy assignment. Like that time Rachel made us go all sexy at that assembly. And then he'll end the week by congratulating us on how much we've grown together over the past days."

Santana almost choked on her shake. "That assembly was the most horrible thing I've ever witnessed."

"I had nightmares for three weeks", Brittany said distantly.

"Me too, Britt", Santana said.

Kurt snorted. "Well, over my dead body I do another Push It-performance."

"Bet Sam would like it", Santana smirked. Kurt shot her a deadly glare.

"Can everyone just stop nagging me about Sam?", he snapped. Then he picked up his protein shake, elegantly twisted his crossed legs into a stance and left the table with his bag still hanging over his now empty chair.

"I'll go talk to him", Mercedes said and hurried after him with the bag firmly in her grasp.

He was much quicker than her and it took a while before she caught up with him. Or well, she only really caught up with him because he stopped by at his locker. For several minutes. But still.

"That was some fiery words back there", she said after she had regained her breath.

He shrugged nonchalantly.

That's when she got really convinced something was up. He kept staring into his locker without really doing anything. His eyes looked tired and worn.

"Boo, what's wrong?", she asked anxiously.

His head snapped in her direction and she could see how glassy and broken his eyes were before he turned back to stare at his locker.

"I'm fine", he said, clearly strained.

"You don't look fine."

He calmly closed his locker and turned to look at her. A smile was suddenly plastered on his face but she knew him too well to believe it was real.

"I am fine, Cedes. Don't worry. I just had a rough night because Finn kept playing his drums and you know our rooms are right next to each other."

He had that same light, humorous tone in his voice that she had always loved, but his smile didn't reach his eyes and it unsettled her. But she knew that you didn't simply pressure Kurt Hummel into sharing his troubles. She had learned that the hard way. He would just snap at her and then he wouldn't talk to her for a week, or more if she got unlucky. He was really sensitive when it came to talking about his feelings. He would much rather help others. She smiled to herself. That was just like Kurt, the ever helpful selfless angel.

When he was ready, he would come to her. At least that's what she hoped.

"Mhm, I don't know how you survive in the same house as him", she said and took his arm.

"I take my revenge", he said with an evil smirk that made Mercedes double over with giggles.

Kurt really was a master at burying his feelings. A second ago he had looked on the verge of a break down, and now he was just completely fine. At least he was to the world. Mercedes could still see the cracks in his defence wall.

"Come on, Mr Burns, we'll be late for Glee club", she said and tugged on his arm to make him come with her.

He put his fingertips together and gave a deep, evil laugh that sounded exactly like the one he just got nicknamed after. Mercedes doubled over again and actually fell to her knees, clutching her side as it began to ache from the intense laughter.

Kurt just smiled and petted her hair as she slowly got to her feet again.

"Thank you", he said and kissed her cheek fondly.

She smiled and took his arm again. Then she raised her hand in the air, and dramatically called out, "That's all of them! Get going!"

When he didn't continue, she poked him in the side, making him wince slightly before he replaced the grimace with a smile.

He threw his hand out just like she had, and shouted equally loud and with doubled enthusiasm, "This ain't no hayride! Let's move it outta here. Hoooo!"

She laughed and reached up to kiss his cheek. "We're really late now."

Together, they cried out, "On to Sherwood Forest!" and ran over to the choir room a few feet away. When they entered, the whole room was seated.

Mr Schuester eyed them sceptically as they slipped in and seated themselves next to each other in the front. Kurt preferred to sit in the back, but it was full now.

"Really, guys? Disney?", Mr Schuester said, an eyebrow raised.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. Everyone was staring at them. "So what?"

"Excuse us, we weren't aware that you were_ five years old_", Rachel snorted from somewhere behind them.

Kurt turned around in his chair. "Disney is _amazing_. Don't tell me none of you haven't seen one in the past year?"

Puck shifted uncomfortably in his chair, Rachel looked suspiciously guilty and Sam looked up at the ceiling. Of course Sam had seen Disney in the past year. Kurt made him watch it all the time, although he was fairly certain Sam actually did like Disney in the first place too.

"Only because my stupid brother made me!", Rachel defended herself.

Kurt's eyes immediately snapped to the slightly smaller boy seated in the top left corner. Without even realising it, he knew that's where he would be. He usually sat in the right corner but today Puck was sitting there, so he had taken over Kurt's spot in the left corner instead. It was like he unconsciously was aware of the gelled boy and where he was all the time. He must have noticed his unusual position when he and Mercedes entered a few minutes ago. But why?

It still annoyed him that they had been in Glee club together since they both started high school, yet they had never really had a proper conversation. Who was the boy with the ridiculously gelled hair and the bag constantly filled with thick, heavy books? He only knew the latter because he had accidentally run into Blaine a few times and caused his bag to fall open and scatter those books all over the floor. Of course he had stayed to help just because he was a Cheerio didn't mean that he was cruel like some of the other popular kids but the boy hadn't even made eye contact. He had just mumbled a thank you and run off.

He was fascinated by the quiet, shy boy who never made much of a spectacle of himself. He kept to himself, his iPod and his books. He smiled a lot, but only with his closest friends. He always wore very dapper clothes: bow ties, vests, colorful jeans, knitted shirts. Guess that was a thing the Berry-Anderson twins had in common.

The difference was that while Kurt wanted to tear Rachel's knitted shirts off of her, drench them in gasoline and burn them in a pile and spit on its ashes, those same clothes would look great on Blaine. They actually shared some of their clothes, intentionally or not no one knew. One day Blaine had come to school wearing a knitted sweater with a pink bunny on it. Everybody had teased him about it and Rachel had laughed her head off. When Sam had suggested slushying him at lunch that day, Kurt had smacked the back of his head and forbidden him to do it.

He was just so intrigued by the mystery that was Blaine Berry-Anderson. Who was the boy beneath all that hair gel? What was his story?  
And today, for some reason, Kurt couldn't keep his eyes off him.

But for once in his life, Blaine wasn't looking at Kurt. His eyes were set on his sister.

"Oh _please_, just last week you _begged_ me to go see the newest Disney movie with you!", he snapped.

"Did not!", Rachel cried.

"You so did! You even made me go twice!"

"Like you're so hard to talk into seeing Disney! You have a marathon by yourself every month!"

"Because Disney is _awesome_. You're just so obsessed with being cool that you won't admit it!"

"Guys, _guys_! Calm down! This week isn't about whether Disney is cool or not!", Mr Schue interrupted them.

Kurt could hear Blaine muttering, "It's _not_ cool, that's the whole point", under his breath up in his corner.

Kurt had never been more intrigued.


	3. Chapter 3

_[Blaine's POV]_

"Nice vest, hobbit."

The comment was accompanied by an elbow roughly shoved into Blaine's ribcage, sending him flying into the metal lockers. He didn't make a sound despite that the key he had pushed into the lock on his locker a few seconds ago had now lodged itself into his back.

Santana smirked and locked arms with the Mohawk jock, Noah Puckerman aka Puck, who had shoved Blaine. Blaine was half-standing, half-leaning against the locker, panting slightly and staring down at the floor. If he had learned something from being bullied for years, it was that you _never_ make eye contact with your bully unless you want another beating. Since he didn't do anything to provoke them, they got bored and decided to move along, but not before Puck had fake punched Blaine, his fist stopping at only a few inches distance. Blaine flinched but didn't scream, which Puck was obviously disappointed by. Then he and Santana strode down the hall away from him.

Blaine pretended as though nothing had happened and turned to his locker and turned the key. He had just pulled out his History books when Tina came up to him, looking concerned.

"What?", he questioned, closing the locker as he spoke.

"I saw that shove."

"It's nothing."

"Didn't look like nothing..."

"Well, it was. Should we go to class?"

Tina shot him a we're-talking-about-this-later-look before nodding and joining him on the way to their classroom.

"Did you finish that homework for tomorrow yet?", she asked as they sat down in the back of the class.

"I'm half-done. What about you?"

"I haven't even started yet, I've been so busy. Mike forced me to go to Asian couples counselling yesterday, just because I got mad at him for _always_ bringing his mother to our dinner dates."

"Wait, what? Isn't that just called couples counselling?"

"No, no, God forbid we ever do something that's not freaking Asian!"

"Wow, I didn't know he was so obsessed with his heritage."

"Oh, this is just the tip of the iceberg, Blaine! Last week I told him I wanted to go to Breadstix instead of that Asian restaurant his mother keeps taking us to, because I was really hungry and it was much closer and I really didn't want to eat rice _again_..."

"What did he say?"

She rolled her eyes, saying, "He called me a racist and stalked off. Actually it was a lot like a Rachel-storm off."

Blaine grinned. His sister was the biggest drama queen he had ever met.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll work everything out. You're are meant to be."

Tina smiled. "Aw, you really think so?"

"Totally. You two are like Asian Disney."

Tina burst out laughing. She actually doubled over and almost hit her head on the table in front of her. Their teacher chose that exact moment to enter the classroom. He was the meanest teacher in the entire school – perhaps with the exception of Sue Sylvester – and he didn't think twice to give detention to anyone who disturbed his classes.

Blaine hurriedly pulled Tina up straight, patter her on the back and leaned back to his side of the table.

The class went by in a blur. Soon the two of them were filing out with the rest of the students. Tina was giggling about that laughing break down and Blaine was glancing around to try and catch a glimpse of Kurt. One time he caught sight of a Cheerio uniform and immediately snapped his head in its direction, but it was just Quinn who gave him a cold glare before going past him.

Tina looked over her shoulder at Quinn's disappearing figure. "You know, considering that we're in Glee together, they should be nicer to us. Right?"

Blaine just shrugged. "They're cool, we're nerds. It's just how it is."

"Well it shouldn't be. It's ridiculous."

"I know."

"In Glee we're more like equals. We actually talk to people outside our social group there. But as soon as we're outside of the choir room they think they can just trample all over us."

Blaine mumbled something in agreement but was silenced by a bunch of jocks shoving him into the wall so they could pass. Tina was left untouched.

She helped him to his feet again and made sure his gelled hair was intact. She knew how important his hair was to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He was so sick of getting kicked around like he was nothing more than a piece of paper they could crumble up and have fun with, and then he was left to try and smooth out the edges best he could.

"We have Glee", Tina reminded him gently.

He forced a smile and nodded. Right. Glee and their mysterious assignment for the week. He just prayed it wouldn't involve too much dancing because he really didn't feel like moving much.

They made their way over to the choir room. There were a few people there already, and stupid Puck had taken Blaine's seat. He cursed under his breath, but when Tina asked him to repeat it he just shook his head. Cursing was undapper, he sarcastically reminded himself.

People always told him how composed and quiet he was. How he was 'dapper' personified.

Well, his true self wasn't so obedient as everyone thought. He was just too shy to show it in public.

_They should see me in my bedroom in the middle of the night when I dance around like a freaking monkey trying to learn the dance steps for Glee performances._ So _undapper._

They went to sit in the top left corner instead. Tina sat down in the chair next to him and picked up her phone to send a quick text to her boyfriend. Blaine crossed his legs and absent-mindedly dangled his foot to a tune in his head.

For the next couple of minutes, people came strolling in through the door and took their seats.

Then Mr Schuester entered and Blaine couldn't help but notice that Kurt was missing.

Tina was too busy gossiping with Rory about god knows what to notice.

Then they all heard a lot of noise coming from outside the classroom. First a loud weird laugh, followed by- wait, what, was that Robin Hood dialogue?

Blaine was on the edge of his seat, trying to look out the door to see who was making all that noise.  
Then Mercedes and Kurt fell through the door, looking a little flushed as they settled into the only vacant seats.

Blaine almost choked on his tongue. They had just been acting out a scene from Robin Hood. He _loved_ Robin Hood. A bunch of dialogues from the Disney movie popped into his head but he firmly pushed them away. Bursting into song wasn't appropriate, not even in Glee. At least not if it was a Disney song.

Before he knew it, Rachel was shouting something about him making her watch Disney. Like she wasn't a fan too! Oh, she was such a hypocrite.

And oh, wow, now they had steered into the topic of coolness again. How surprising.

Every conversation in this school always seemed to come down to the same thing:_ is this cool or not?_  
Who the hell cares? Blaine always did just what he wanted to do, and he didn't care if people thought it was cool or not. He actually preferred if it wasn't considered cool because then he would get to do it in peace.

For example: he had always adored bow ties. Did he stop wearing them just because people kept shoving him and calling him fag? No. Instead he wore more colourful ones to piss off the bullies.

He wasn't the most overconfidently kid in the world though. He was nervous about going to school and he did have his moments of doubt when he considered changing his whole personality just so he could fit in for once. But he didn't.

He didn't fit in, he rather blended into the background. He got his occasional shove and like everybody else he got slushied every now and then, but otherwise he was kind of left alone. He had his handful of friends that he could really rely on and it suited him just fine.

Of course, being the brother of Rachel wasn't the easiest thing in the world. She loved drama more than she needed air and more often than not Blaine somehow got dragged into the mess she made on her quest to fame.

"Guys, settle down now. I have this weeks assignment all ready for you!", Mr Schuester announced, interrupting Blaine's thoughts and the argue around him.

"I swear it will be mash-ups", he could hear Kurt saying two rows down.

Blaine wondered if he was right. He really liked doing mash-ups, they were fun. As long as the songs didn't suck.

_Oh, no, I hope it's not a Journey mash-up, _he thought miserably. He didn't have anything against Journey in the first place, but Mr Schuester always went on and on about them and the entire club were really fed up with them by now. The only one who couldn't seem to get enough was – surprise, surprise – Mr Schuester.

The whole club was tensed up as they waited for him to drop the bomb. No one was particularly fiery today and Blaine was sure they all shared his hopes for a still week in Glee. Well, he didn't count his sister into that, because she was having a hard time sitting still due to her exploding supply of energy. She always loved the weekly assignments as she considered them just another chance for her to get a solo.

"I thought we should do... drum roll, Finn!", Mr Schuester said and pointed to Finn, who started drumming his fingers faster and faster against the backrest of the chair in front of him. Mr Schuester spread his arms out in a dramatic gesture and finished, "...ballads! We'll pair up and you get to sing one song each to your partner."

"So everyone gets a solo?", Mercedes asked hopefully.

Mr Schuester grinned triumphantly. "Yes!"

Rachel actually shrieked with joy. "Oh, this is _fantastic!_ I know exactly what I will sing. And who I will sing to..."

Her eyes drifted longingly, and in her mind it was probably discrete and unnoticeable, to Finn who was sitting behind her. Quinn actually showed her teeth, as the female animals did in all those shows on Animal Planet, and swung her legs protectively over Finn's so she was half-seated in his lap.

Rachel turned away with a dramatic sniff.

Blaine's heart seemed to sink right into the pit of his stomach. Who would he sing with?  
Tina would pair up with Mike, and Sugar would sing with Rory. Lauren would sing with Puck, Finn with Quinn, Rachel... oh no. He wouldn't survive singing with Rachel. She always did her absolute best to outshine him and he was actually a really good singer, but no one ever noticed because all they could see was Rachel – the star.

Even their dads favoured her. She was their little gold star.

They hadn't even noticed that he too could sing. Just because he didn't win endless amounts of singing competitions like his sister didn't mean he wasn't talented. He just wasn't that interested in competitions.  
He often had to sing with Rachel in Glee and it was always horrible. She would pick a song that only had super high notes and then she would order him to just stay in the back and sway while she sang.

He had really hoped that he would get to sing a proper solo this week. But oh no, it was all Rachel as usual. Because even though he would get his solo now, she would just outshine him and no one would notice him.

Then his heart sank even lower because Sam jumped down to the front row and made Kurt scoot over so they shared his chair. Sam's arm was possessively wrapped around Kurt's waist and Blaine was sure he would throw up if he had to watch _that_ much longer.

"I choose my little Cheerio", Sam said and tried to kiss Kurt, but he turned away so the kiss landed on his cheek.  
A little disappointed, Sam collected himself and instead pulled his boyfriend a little closer.

"Sorry guys, you can't choose your ballad partner. Everyone write their names on a scrap of paper and we'll have a little lottery", Mr Schuester said and pulled out a little green cotton bag with a silk ribbon tied around it.

"What?", everyone protested.

Practically everybody had someone they wanted to sing with.

Mr Schuester made a dejected movement with his arms that looked like a weird combination between messed up jazz hands and some monkey dance.

"Guys, come on, this is supposed to be about you acting like a team again! And to be a team you need to get along with everyone!", he said, and he sounded a little like a cranky child.

Blaine was actually relieved the pairings would be completely random. This way it was only a slight risk he would have to sing with Rachel.

They all put their names down on pieces of paper that Mr Schuester then went around and collected into the green bag. It was really hideous, which Kurt made sure to acknowledge.  
Mr Schuester just huffed something about "made it myself" and "the inside is what's important".

Then he went over to the piano and began shaking the bag to mix the slips of papers together. Then he stuck his hand in and pulled one out.

"Rachel, aaaand-", he put his hand in and grabbed another piece, "- Finn."

The entire room moaned. Quinn clapped her hands to her mouth. "_NO!_"

"Sorry, Quinn, the bag has spoken", Mr Schuester said and put his hand in the bag again.

The pairings weren't _that_ bad.

Santana and Brittany.

Lauren and Mike.

Rory and Sugar.

Artie and Puck.

Quinn and Sam.

And then the only ones left were Blaine, Mercedes, Tina and... Kurt.

Blaine's heart was suddenly beating unrealistically fast. There was a chance he would be singing a ballad of his choice to Kurt. _Kurt_.

And then his name was called. _Ohgodohgodohgod._

"Blaine... and Mercedes. That leaves Kurt with Tina."

Blaine wanted to punch a hole through a wall. Why did things never go his way? Did the universe hate him that much?  
Alright, he liked Mercedes so this wouldn't be that bad. But still. He almost got Kurt.

But the more he thought about it, the better it all seemed. Maybe escaping a ballad with Kurt was a blessing in disguise. Because Kurt's voice was just so angelic and he was so breathtakingly beautiful, and this project would require some time spent alone with ones partner, and he wasn't sure he could take being alone with Kurt without doing something highly inappropriate. So maybe this was a good thing.

"Are you okay?", Tina whispered.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because... you and Kurt."

"There _is_ no me and Kurt, Tina."

"But you want it to be, don't you?"

Blaine clicked his tongue. He had never told anyone about his crush on Kurt. Okay, crush was definitely an understatement.

Correction: he had never told anyone about his painful, self-destructing, undying love for the perfection that was Kurt Hummel.

"Yes."

It was barely audible, but Tina heard it. She edged closer to him and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"I love you, okay?"

He smiled weakly. "Love you too."

Then they both turned their attention to Mr Schuester again, although their hands remained firmly intertwined. He was really lucky to have Tina there for support, because it felt like he might just fall apart any second.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter is a little longer and it's not really that coherent and I feel like it's just one big rant, but I'm too lazy to edit it anymore so here you go! I'm not 100% sure where this story is going (although I have a few possible ideas) so things might be a little weird and off in some places, I don't know. I'm just kind of writing my heart out. Sorry about that (and the cheesy phrasing)...  
**

**And this story is SO not according to the canon storylines, but I guess you all know that already. I think I've mentioned some of the actual canon events here and there, like Burt's heart attack, but I have no idea which season this story would take place. It's just a weird AU I guess.**

**And oh, by the way; I appreciate every single one of you who put this on story alert or to your favorites, and especially those of you who review too. Lots of love to you!**

**I'll stop talking now. He.**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

If he was being honest, he was a little disappointed that he hadn't been paired up with Blaine for this weeks assignment. Not specifically because they were doing ballads in pairs, but because he was curious to get to know him. Of course, they were on opposite sides of the popular/non-popular war and that made things a little tricky. But Kurt had never been very interested in labels anyway.

And yes, if he had been able to choose a partner, he would have chosen Sam. Of course he would have. Sam was his boyfriend.  
But, you know, if it came down to choosing between Tina and Blaine... yeah, he would choose Blaine. He really liked Tina, they were kind of friends outside of Glee too, but Blaine was just so fascinating. He was like this puzzle he really wanted to figure out. But how could Kurt ever be friends with him when Sam was the most overprotective boyfriend in the history of boyfriends? Sam would barely let him speak to other boys without him there.

Every time Sam caught him talking to another boy, he would snuggle attack him and kiss and hug him. And it was nice, but also embarrassing to be so obviously objectified. Sometimes it really felt like Sam considered him his little trophy boyfriend who he thought should just stick by his side and don't have a life outside of their relationship.

Sometimes he even got jealous when Kurt was hugging or laughing or talking with his female friends, which he often did because he was really affectionate with his friends. But for Sam to be jealous of that was just plain stupid. Kurt was gay, for crying out loud. If someone should be jealous it should be Kurt, because _everyone_ was after Sam. Both boys and girls, which made the playing field twice as big, especially since Sam himself played for both teams.

And everything was always about Sam and his interests. Once or twice had he agreed to go with Kurt to a musical, but he had fallen asleep the second time and then Kurt had just lost interest in sharing that part of him with his sleepy boyfriend. And it was a bit tiring in the long run to have such a one-sided relationship.

**-  
**"Boo, what's wrong?", Mercedes asked and looked over at him.

They were lying on Mercedes' bed, Kurt flicking through a Vogue magazine and Mercedes watching some weird film on TV.

"Nothing", he replied distantly. He held up the magazine and pointed to a column with an article, and said, "What do you think of this? Could it work?"

It was a hair moisturizing routine involving a whole lot of weird stuff.

She eyed the article a few moments and then shrugged. "Try it."

"I don't try just anything on my hair. Remember that time we tried that shampoo thing from your mom's old magazine? My hair was a mess for weeks."

Mercedes giggled at the memory. "Right! It was all curly and weird."

Kurt rolled up the magazine and slapped her arm with it. She shrieked and flew up, grabbing a pillow on the way. And thus begun the thirty minutes long pillow war that ultimately left them both panting on the floor in a pile of clothes, pillows and random things that had fallen off Mercedes' book shelf.

"So, when are the others coming over?", Kurt asked, slightly breathless, as they got up and started to clean up the sudden mess.

"In an hour or so. I think they were bringing pizza", she said and licked her lips.

Kurt was just about to mention the fact that junk food was strictly forbidden for Cheerios, but then he remembered how Mercedes was really struggling with food nowadays and decided not to bring it up. It was amazing that she was eating.

They settled down on her bed again, Kurt with his magazine and Mercedes with the TV, and waited for the girls to arrive. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence or anything. That was one of the things he loved most about Mercedes, they could just hang out without speaking because they were so comfortable with each other.

"Oooh, Quinn is here!", Mercedes said suddenly and jumped up, cellphone in hand. Kurt remained on the bed, his legs swinging back and forth in the air.

Mercedes soon returned to the bedroom with both Quinn and Brittany with her.

"Santana couldn't come, she was busy", Quinn said and clumsily fell down onto the bed next to Kurt. She turned to him and poked him in the side, teasing, "Hey Vogue boy."

Kurt snorted and continued reading the Vogue article.

"Did you bring pizza?", Mercedes asked urgently.

Brittany shook her head. "I don't know how to order."

Mercedes moaned. "But I'm _hungry_!"

"Get used to it", Quinn said absent-mindedly.

Mercedes face dropped. "Right."

Kurt leapt off the bed at that. He loved being a Cheerio, mostly because it made him feel safe and he hadn't felt safe at school since... he couldn't even remember such a time. But he'd be damned if he would let coach Sue turn his best friend into some self-loathing, starving wreck. Mercedes was _gorgeous_, and before she joined Cheerios she had known it, but now... now she was so obsessed with being thin that she didn't realize she was already ten times as beautiful as all those paper-thin she saw in the magazines.

"We can go to the local pizza place", he suggested quickly. "It's only a five minute drive."

"Great!", Mercedes said enthusiastically.

Quinn shot them a hesitant look. "We have Cheerio practise tomorrow, we shouldn't..."

Mercedes' smile quickly disappeared. "Oh. Right. We shouldn't." She sat down on the bed again, fiddling her thumbs nervously. Kurt saw it, and immediately made up his mind.

"You know what, I haven't had a pizza in three months. I'm going", he said, and resolutely walked over to the open door.

Brittany immediately jumped up from where she had sat on the floor, saying, "But I don't have any money so you have to pay."

He rolled his eyes, but nodded nonetheless. "Anyone else?" When no one said anything, he smirked mischievously and crouched on the floor by the bed, right next to Quinn who was looking at him with big eyes, and seductively whispered, "What about that pizza we had last year, Quinn? The one with all that hot melted cheese, and that _delicious_ crusty bottom, and those little cute peppers..."

She bit her lip, and he was positive she was on the point of breaking, but he didn't settle for that. "And oh, remember that time we had french fries and we just covered them in melted cheese and salt and it was _sooo_ delicious..."

"_Fine_! We'll go get some stupid pizza! But don't you blame me when I fall down on top of you during the pyramid stunt tomorrow!", Quinn snarled and got up too.

Kurt grinned. "Great! Cedes, you coming too?"

She tried to stop the wide smile creeping onto her lips but failed miserably. Kurt linked arms with her and then they all bounded downstairs, pulling their coats on as they ran out to Kurt's car that was parked right outside.

"I'll call Santana and see if she wants to come", Brittany said, already dialling the number.

"But she was busy, wasn't she?", Mercedes said.

Brittany frowned. "No, she just didn't want to see you guys."

Quinn rolled her eyes and pulled the car door shut behind her. She and Brittany were seated together in the back whilst Kurt and Mercedes sat in the front, Kurt by the steering wheel and Mercedes in the passenger seat.

"You've got a really nice car, Kurt", Quinn said as she buckled her belt.

He smiled at her through the rearview mirror. "Thanks. My dad got it for me on my birthday."

Brittany, without acknowledging their conversation, said, "Santana wants us to get her some pizza too. She's coming over in thirty minutes."

"I won't pay for her too", he warned her, putting the key in the ignition and starting the car as he spoke.

"I have some cash", Quinn said. Mercedes nodded her agreement, adding a, "Me too."

The drive to the pizza place was uneventful. Mercedes popped in a CD from Kurt's vast collection. He had all the original CD's and their respective covers in his room, but he had made copies of his most played ones to keep in his car because he always listened to some form of music while driving. For this particular drive, Mercedes accidentally chose his copy of the soundtrack from Velvet Goldmine.

"Really, Kurt? Velvet Goldmine? I didn't think you could get more gay", Quinn teased as she recognised the songs.

"Ah, so you've seen the movie then? How very straight of you", Kurt said, an eyebrow raised.

Quinn blushed. "I- yeah, I saw it, but... oh, damn you."

Kurt smirked at her through the mirror. "Your gay is showing, honey."

She opened her mouth to retort, but he just ploughed on, "Besides, what is there not to like about Velvet Goldmine? It has glittery stage costumes, gay sex, Brian Molko in heels, an amazing soundtrack, glamorous God complexes and Ewan McGregor all in one sparkling package."

The girls were left speechless, as this was the first time they had ever heard him willingly speak of sex in any form.

He realised what he had just done and blushed profoundly as he kept an unnervingly tight grip of the steering wheel and tried not to look at any of his friends. Sex usually was a touchy topic for him, but watching Velvet Goldmine had always been one of the few times he could watch a sex-related scene and not get so uncomfortable that he wanted to crawl out of his own skin.

Maybe it was the fact that Brian Molko had a minor part in the movie, and he absolutely _adored_ Brian Molko, or maybe it was all the David Bowie-related glamour or the super hot Ewan McGregor... he didn't know. It was his dirty pleasure movie that he hadn't really told anyone about, until just now when Mercedes had accidentally put on the CD with its soundtrack.

"I like Velvet Goldmine, okay, just drop it", he muttered under his breath, staring at the road ahead of him.

Mercedes suppressed a giggle. "And this is coming from the boy who ran out of the room when Danny and Sandy kissed in Grease."

"Oh, come on! That's different."

"Mhm, sure honey."

But since they had arrived to the pizza place by then, Kurt managed to steer the conversation out of those gay- _oops_, dangerous waters.

Kurt pulled the key out of the ignition, flicked the door open and gracefully slid out of the seat onto the ground. The bright neon lights of the restaurant sign lit up the night and Kurt couldn't help but wish he had neon lights in his bedroom. Yes, he had always outwardly been an enemy to everything disco related, but to be honest he had more than once found himself dancing around his room to some disco music. It was another one of his dirty pleasures that he wouldn't admit to anyone.

Mercedes pushed the door open and they all went inside. They quickly scanned the menus and tried to decide what to get.

"How about we split the number 9, Mercedes?", Kurt suggested.

Mercedes blushed. "I was going to get one for myself."

"What if we get it in family size?"

Mercedes nodded her consent.

It took over ten minutes of indecision and slight arguing for them to decide on a number 9 and a number 6, both in family size. There were 5 of them after all.

Kurt paid, with some input from Mercedes and Quinn, and then they settled down at a nearby table to wait for their orders. They had decided to take it home and eat it while watching a movie in Mercedes' room.

"So, what's new with you guys?", Mercedes asked after a while of awkward silence.

That got everyone laughing, because there was rarely anything that happened to either of them that the others didn't already know. They had basically the same classes, they were in the same clubs and they hung out outside of school too.

"I'm going to Paris this summer with my parents", Quinn announced.

"Ohh, you are?", Kurt squeaked. "I've always wanted to go there."

She smiled and picked up a napkin from a napkin holder on the table. She started twisting it around, folding it and pulling on certain corners, and then said,"Yeah, my dad has this business thing there so he thought me and mom would come too because he has a few days off afterwards."

"That's amazing. How long are you staying?", Kurt asked.

He was the only one remotely interested in Quinn's upcoming trip. Mercedes was too busy glancing towards the kitchen so she would be prepared when the pizzas were finally ready, and Brittany was filing her nails and didn't acknowledge their existence.

"About a week, I think", Quinn said vaguely, still fiddling with the napkin.

Then Mercedes suddenly jumped to her feet with an excited squeal and ran over to the counter where two big cartons were waiting. She picked one up and handed it to Brittany, who looked confused and put it down on the counter again. Mercedes groaned impatiently and stacked the two cartons on top of each other and picked them up.

"Someone open the door", she said and gingerly walked forward. The weight of the pizzas were a little much but she powered through it. She'd do just about anything to just get home and sink her teeth into the deliciousness that she was carrying. She was _starving_.

Kurt opened the door for her and waited until everyone had passed before he went out too. He unlocked the car doors at a twenty feet-distance. Mercedes raced over to the car, slid the door open and jumped in with the pizzas settled on her lap. Quinn opened the passanger seat door and sat down next to Kurt, who of course was driving. He started up the engine and backed out of the parking lot.

"Ohhh, it smells so delicious", Mercedes whimpered.

It _did_ smell amazing. The number 9 was a simple thin-bottomed pizza with peppers, three different kinds of cheese, red onions and some green stuff Kurt couldn't name.

He wasn't officially a vegetarian, but he had considered adopting that lifestyle for quite some time. He usually helped out with dinner at home, and more often than not did he opt out meat and instead make some vegetarian beef out of kidney beans or fry up some quorn fillets.

It started out when he was trying to make his dad keep off the red meat for a while due to his recent heart attack. He had made some vegetarian alternatives for him to try, but none of them had really suited Burt. Kurt, on the other hand, quickly grew very fond of the super tasty recipes he found online. Since then he often cooked vegetarian, and sometimes his dad would try a dish and actually like it.

Even though he knew his dad would never go full vegetarian even though it would be really good for him and his heart, he figured that even a little vegetarian food would be better than none at all. Besides, Kurt had always been a passionate animal lover, and he felt much more comfortable with that now that he rarely ate any meat.

Once when Sam was over at his house for a date, Kurt had made him a very fancy vegetarian dish, and Sam had refused to take more than one bite. He, according to his own words, "was a real man and real men needed their meat."

Those words hurt Kurt in more than one way; not only was his boyfriend ridiculing his cooking, but he pushed one of Kurt's weakest spots when he basically told him he wasn't a real man. Kurt had been told that his entire life, because of his unusually high voice and his love for fashion, but he hadn't expected his boyfriend to ever say that.

Before he knew it, he had pulled up by the curb outside of Mercedes' house.

Santana was leaning against the front door, looking both bored and excited at the same time.

Brittany slid out of her seat and went directly up to the black-haired Latina girl, but instead of a friendly hug she placed a big wet kiss on Santana's mouth.

They had never _officially _told anyone they were actually dating, but both Kurt and the other girls had kind of suspected it for a while. They didn't make a big deal out of it; Kurt because he knew how sensitive these topics could be and he figured it would be most respectful to just silently accept them instead of making a whole scene about it; Mercedes and Quinn because they were both so hungry by now they didn't want to have a big "we love you just as much as lesbians as we did when you were straight"-speech to prolong the moment when they would get to open the pizza cartons and finally fill that hungry void in their stomachs.

Their friends were suddenly dating – fine. It wasn't a big deal.

Santana seemed a little angry at first at the sneak attack, but seeing how their friends were obviously fine with it, she calmed down a little and simply took Brittany's hand, while mumbling a little, "Thank you."

No one knew it, but she had had a really hard time telling anyone, not even herself, that she loved Brittany. Her friends acceptance meant a lot.

Kurt made sure to give them both a warm smile as he passed them to go into the house. They all kicked their shoes off and hung up their coats before bounding up the stairs to Mercedes' room.

Kurt, who knew Mercedes' house by heart, went to the kitchen to get a bottle of soda and a couple of glasses.

When he got up to her room, they had already started on the pizzas.

Santana and Brittany were on the floor with their carton, and Quinn and Mercedes lay on their stomachs on the bed, gorging themselves shamelessly.  
It was interesting to see Quinn like this, because she was usually the last one to admit to hunger. She had also been a Cheerio the longest, so it made sense that she was better trained in the art than they were.

Kurt mimicked them and lay down on his stomach too, taking a slice of pizza as he went.

"This _is_ delicious", he said in-between chews. He normally hated people who talked with food in their mouths, but this was too tasty to bother with such things as shame.

Mercedes just grunted something in agreement.

It took little over an hour for them to finish off one and a half of the pizzas. The last half they decided to save for a disgustingly delicious pizza breakfast in the morning.

Quinn went to pop in some romantic comedy into the DVD player.  
Mercedes and Kurt snuggled up next to each other on the bed as the familiar 20th Century Fox logo flashed onto the screen.

Santana and Brittany remained on the floor, their backs against the bed. Quinn joined the two others on the bed, although she laid down at the end of the bed instead.

Kurt pulled the covers up over himself and Mercedes while she clumsily let her head fall onto his shoulder. Nodding in the general direction of the pizza, she mumbled, "That was the best pizza I've ever had."

He laughed. "Uh-huh."

Then they all quieted down and just watched the movie. With half an hour left, Kurt slipped away to the bathroom. Sleepover or not, he couldn't abandon his nightly skin routine.

When he returned a while later, Mercedes had fallen asleep over both their sides of the bed, and Quinn had fallen asleep in a little ball at the foot of the bed. Santana and Brittany were making out on the floor, a fact Kurt tried to ignore. He crawled under the covers, gently pushed Mercedes over to her side and fell asleep almost instantly once the warm covers were protecting him against the cold outside.

* * *

A couple of hours later he woke to Mercedes snoring loudly right next to his ear. He groaned and not-so-gently rolled her over to her side of the bed. He then reached out to grab his phone from the night stand but then remembered that this was Mercedes' room and that she didn't have one. Instead he reached down and found the phone in his pocket. He unlocked it and blinked at the way too bright screen for a few seconds before he could read out the time; 6.15am.

They were lucky he had a mental alarm clock built in, because if he had awoken any later they would have been late for school. He always woke up around 6 o'clock, but his friends weren't as scheduled as he was. If he didn't wake them, they'd sleep to noon.

He poked Mercedes' leg with his foot a few times, but she didn't even stir so he proceeded to more drastic methods. He sat up, stretched out his limbs and then deliberately fell over on Mercedes who woke with a yell.

"_KURT!_", she cried and rolled off the bed in the urgency to get Kurt off of her.

He just laughed. Her scream had woken up the other girls too.

"Rise and shine!", he called out cheerfully.

He was really tired himself, but by the look of his friends they were worse off.

He got up, grabbed his bag and headed to the nearest bathroom again for his morning routine. He took a quick shower and got dressed; tight black pants, a long-sleeved navy blue shirt and a black-and-white checkered bow tie to match. He usually wore his Cheerio outfit in school, and he would today too, but he figured he could change after second period or something. He really felt like he wanted to be his usual fashionable self instead of the stiff Cheerio he had become, at least for a little while.

Once he was dressed he proceeded with his skin and then his hair. He combed it into place and sprayed it into perfection. After about an hour of this he went back to Mercedes' room, only to find them all asleep again. He rolled his eyes as he began to wake them all over again, a little gentler this time.

His gentle hands didn't do much good though. Brittany appeared not to hear or feel him, and Santana just moaned and roughly pushed him away before she burrowed deeper into her pillow.

Quinn got up rather willingly and was already dressed by the time Mercedes came around too.

"Santana, Britt, come on! I'm not your mother!", Kurt complained as they after ten minutes were still cosily under their covers.

The three of them decided to let them sleep a while longer since they showed no sign of waking up now.

Mercedes and Quinn took a slice each of the remaining pizza, but Kurt was still full from the previous day so he went down to the kitchen and made them some coffee instead.

Mercedes' parents had already went to work so they were all alone. He clicked the switch to turn the coffee maker off and then took the pot from its stance and poured himself a cup. It wasn't as good as the one he made at home or the ones he bought at the Lima Bean, but it was still good. He always had an intense craving for coffee in the mornings. It was probably his need for consistent routine: he woke up, took a shower, got dressed, fixed his hair and went down to the kitchen to make coffee. Every morning, the same routine. He had always been like that, he wanted to have control over everything.

When he finished the coffee the other four came down the stairs, too loud and clumsily for Kurt not to laugh at them. They were dressed and since school started in about an hour, they had enough time to get some quick coffee before they went.

"Have you guys decided what you're going to sing in Glee on Friday?", Mercedes asked suddenly. They were all sitting around her kitchen table, sipping their coffee.

"I don't know... Mr Schue said that we should just sing whatever is in our hearts, right? But, you know, what am I supposed to sing to Sam? I don't have anything to say to him", Quinn said. They had dated before, but then Sam had cheated on her and they had broken up. Then she winked at Kurt, "Bet you'd have a lot to say."

He frowned. "What?"

"Because he is your boyfriend? Where is your mind today, Kurt?", she said and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, right, sorry. Just sing him something about football and he'll be all set."

It was hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He _was_ upset that Sam never took time to do stuff that Kurt cared about, but still expected Kurt to show up to every single one of his football games.

"What about you, Mercedes? Do you know what you're going to sing?", Quinn asked.

Mercedes shook her head. "No idea. What would I say to _him_?"

"Sing him something about Lord of the Rings and he'll feel right at home", Santana said.

Everyone but Kurt frowned as they turned to look at her, voicing the question with one mouth, "What?"

"Oh come on, how can you not get that one?", she asked irritably. When they still didn't understand, she added, "He's a hobbit. They have hobbits in Lord of the Rings."

Kurt immediately got it, of course. He loved Lord of the Rings, and he knew people called the Berry-Anderson siblings hobbits. He didn't, though.

He rolled his eyes and let the comment slide. Trying to be helpful, he instead said, "Maybe you should sing something by Michael Jackson. Everyone loves him."

Quinn shrugged. "Maybe. It's not really in my range though."

"You'd kill it, I swear."

She smiled at him. "What are you going to sing then?"

His smile disappeared, and his shoulders dropped slightly. "I don't know. Maybe something from Wicked or something."

He had no idea what he would sing. He had a lot of songs that he was just dying to sing in Glee, but none of them fit the assignment. He was supposed to sing to Tina, and yes they were friends, but he didn't exactly have any hidden feelings he wanted to show her through song.

He was too lost in thought to notice how unusually observant Mercedes was of him today. She was watching him carefully as he took another sip of his coffee before hiding his face in his hands for under five seconds just for a brief escape from reality.

Then he accidentally caught sight of his phone that was lying on the table.

"We're going to be late!", he said and went over to the sink to wash out his cup.

The others mimicked his movements and then they all put the dishes into the dishwasher.

They dashed out the door and over to Kurt's car. They divided themselves between Santana and Kurt's car; Mercedes rode with Kurt, and Brittany and Quinn went with Santana.

Once the door slid closed between them and Kurt had started up the car engine, Mercedes hand closed around his wrist.

He turned to look at her, surprised at the firm grip. "Wh-"

"What's wrong?", she asked, looking deep into his eyes.

His mouth opened but nothing came out. What was all this about?

"I- I'm fine, Cedes. What are you-"

"You're not fine, Kurt, I can tell! Something is bothering you. What is it? Is it Sam? Did he do something?", she asked anxiously.

He shook her hand off and put his hand back onto the steering wheel and pulled off the curb to follow Santana's disappearing car.

"Nothing is wrong, I told you. Sam didn't do anything, I don't understand why you keep nagging me about him. We're fine as usual."

"Then why are you getting all defensive?", she asked, pulling her hand back and resting them in her lap.

"Because you just can't get it through your head that I'm _fine_!"

She was quiet for a few moments. Then she finally asked, "Is it about the Glee assignment?"

"No, I... Mercedes, listen to me: I. Am. Fine. Really!"

"Okay, if you say so. But every time someone brings it up you go all stiff and don't look anyone in the eye. So _something_ is up, and I just thought we were close enough for you to tell me, but I guess I was wro-"

Tired of her blame game, he interrupted her, "Fine! It's Sam. Or, technically it isn't him, but... honestly, I'm just a little confused, that's all. He didn't do anything wrong."

She nodded, and then she smiled. "Okay. I won't bring it up again."

He smiled back. A few minutes later they arrived at the McKinley parking lot.

Looking out for bullies just out of habit, they ran into the school and briefly stopped by their lockers to get their books before dashing to the first class of the day.


	5. Chapter 5

_[Blaine's POV]_

"Blaine, honey, are you ready?", his mother called from the kitchen.

"In a sec!"

He hadn't even gotten out of bed yet, to be honest. He rushed to get dressed; a plain white button-up, black pants and a gold-and-red striped bow tie. Yes, this particular bow tie was one of his favourites purely because it made him feel like a Gryffindor. Not just feel like it – he _was_ a Gryffindor. As the hardcore fanboy he was, he had taken hundreds of "Which Hogwarts house would _you_ be in?"-quizzes and he almost always landed in Gryffindor, something he took great pride in.

He admired his outfit in the mirror, went up on his toes and did a little spin. He looked, if he could say so himself, pretty great.

"_Blaine! _We really have to go now or we'll both be late!"

He sighed as his mother's voice drifted up to his room.

"Coming!", he called back.

He did a quick last minute check if he had forgotten anything. He had his homework and his iPod safely tucked into a side pocket in his bag, he had a spare shirt for when he got slushied, and-

His train of thought was interrupted by another call from his mom, this time much more hysterical.

He quickly went and locked himself into the bathroom and rushed to brush his teeth. He knew they were in a hurry but he still took his time with his hair. His hair was the most important thing to him.

He picked up a comb from the cabinet to his right and slowly combed it through his unruly curls. He had no time to take a shower, but he had washed his hair last night so it was okay.

He squeezed some hair gel into the palm of his hand and carefully worked it into his hair, forcing every single one of his curls to lay down flat. They were particularly reluctant to cooperate with him today and he had to use even more gel than usual. When they were finally in a state he could accept, he unlocked the door and took the tube of gel with him downstairs.

There was no time to eat breakfast or even gulp down some strengthening coffee, so he just shoved the gel tube into his bag and grabbed his jacket. His mother was standing in the hall, waiting impatiently for him. His dad had already gone to work.

He usually drove to school himself, but today his mother was going to pick him up after school because he had promised to come with her to the dentist. She had this irrational fear of dentists, and she refused to go without support. Her husband had gone on a business trip so Blaine had to volunteer this time.

"Are you ready to go?", she asked, nervously tapping her foot against the floor.

"Yeah, sorry I took so long", he said and toed into his sneakers. She stood rooted to the spot and didn't move even though he opened the door for her.

He put his hand on her arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Mom, we have to go. Don't worry, it isn't for another couple of hours."

She stirred, and seemed to suddenly realize he was there. She smiled, "Oh, honey, I know. I'm just a little nervous. So, ready to go then?"

He nodded, and edged the door open a little more.

The drive over to McKinley didn't take more than ten minutes. His mother dropped him off by the curb outside the parking lot.

"I'll pick you up at three thirty then, okay?", she asked as he opened the door and got out of the car.

"Yep", he confirmed. "And don't be late, because your appointment is at four."

She was always late, especially when she had to do something she didn't want to do.

She rolled her eyes. "I'll be here. Now go or you'll be late."

He nodded, closed the door and gave a small wave before turning around and half-running, half-walking into the school building.

He entered the school and turned a few corners, keeping an eye out for approaching bullies at every corner. He really wished he could escape getting slushied today, because he was so not in the mood to redo his hair.

He had all the books he would need for the first two periods in his bag, so he headed straight to his first class. Just as he sat down in the back of the room, his phone vibrated to let him know he had a new text. He fished it out of his pocket and opened the text.

It was probably his mother, texting to tell him she had some important work thing so she couldn't make her dentist appointment. She did that sometimes when she didn't want to face something. He smiled slightly at the thought. But it wasn't from her, and his smile faded slowly as he read the message.

**From: Tina Cohen-Chang  
**Blaine I'm sorry, I won't be at school until two. I'll tell you why in Glee, OK?

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**It's fine, I'll see you then. Hope you're okay!

He sighed inwardly. This was going to be a _long_ day.

* * *

He somehow survived throughout the day without Tina. He sat alone in the back of every class and didn't spend any more time in the hallways than he absolutely had to.

He had lunch with Rory and Sugar, although the two of them spent the majority of the time arguing about whether Sugar had cheated on him with Artie last weekend or not. Of course she hadn't, but it took a _lot_ of convincing until Rory believed her. Blaine just sat there eating his lunch quietly, trying to picture himself at home with a good book instead.

But his day was fine after all. He actually didn't receive a single slushie facial all day. How he managed to avoid that he wasn't sure. Maybe he was so quiet and so unhappy he actually blended into the meek yellowish walls with his unusually toned down outfit. He usually wore something bright and slightly provocative, but today the only coloured item on him was the Gryffindorish bow tie. But since no one at this stupid school got that connection, they didn't tease him for his, in some peoples opinions, overly dedicated love for Harry Potter.

He should be grateful, he supposed, because it did save him a beating. But somehow it was still really sad that he didn't have anyone to share that part of him with. Not even Tina could bother to listen to his rantings for more than a few minutes.

When two o'clock rolled around, along with Tina's return and the last class for the day, Glee club, he was in a strange mood. It was something caught in between sadness, weariness, relief and excitement. After Glee he only had about one hour at the dentist's office with his mother and then he could go home, do some homework and watch Harry Potter.

Maybe it was because of his bow tie, but he had had an intense craving for The Prisoner of Azkaban all day, so during one of the particularly dull classes, he had plotted and planned his entire afternoon. And now there was just one class between him and that soft, cosy bed of his waiting for him at home.

As he walked into the choir room, he instantly spotted Kurt, who had his legs crossed elegantly as usual. Sam was sitting on his right side and Mercedes on his left. She was shooting Blaine vicious, loathing glares, which totally threw him off track. Was she mad at him or something? She usually didn't like him but she had never looked at him like _that_ before.

Kurt didn't seem to notice though... he was looking down at his phone, smiling slightly at something on the little screen.

Blaine realized that Sam had caught him staring, and hurriedly turned away his gaze and instead found Tina already seated next to the seat in the top right corner. She had left the corner seat for him. She was having a hushed conversation with Mike who sat on her other side. He looked rather upset.

Blaine bounced up the steps and flung himself in the vacant chair, feeling rather excited for some reason. Grinning widely, he gave a happy, "Hey."

They both jumped slightly and looked up at him. Mike's eyes narrowed. His voice clearly strained, he said, "Ah, of course. It's Blaine."

Tina rolled her eyes impatiently. "Mike, stop it."

Blaine's eyebrows knitted together. "What's up?"

Mike gritted his teeth, but Tina silenced him with a death glare before he had time to say anything.

"It's nothing, Blaine. Let's just move on, okay?", she said, and smiled at him, although she seemed a little weird.

He frowned, but decided not to push it. There was clearly something going on between them, and he didn't want to get in the middle of another couples fight today.

Mr Schuester chose that exact moment to enter the room, to Blaine's relief.

"Are you guys psyched for this weeks assignment?", he cried out and spread out his hands, grinning widely.

Typical Mr Schue.

This week, unlike many others, people were actually excited. Rachel went into an extensive retail of how she had chosen her song, but luckily she got interrupted by Mr Schuester.

"So, I thought we'd all divide into pairs and start practising songs for the show off on Friday", he said.

People got out of their seats to go over to their partners. Blaine had just risen about an inch from his seat when Mercedes stood up and called for everyone's attention.

"Excuse me! I am _not_ singing with Blaine!", she said, her voice shaking slightly.

Blaine's mouth fell open in shock. "W-what?"

"You heard me! I am so mad at you I can't even_ look_ at you without wanting to punch you! I am not singing with you!"

"But what did I-"

"_Oh my god, _you don't even remember! Mr Schue, I'm sorry, but I just- I won't sing with him! You have to pair me up with someone else!", she said loudly.

"But Mercedes, we've already set everyone up, no one's available. Can't you set aside your differences and-"

"_I will not set aside any differences!_", she cried."Now set me up with someone else or I _will_ cut someone!"

Sensing there was no stopping her, Mr Schuester sighed and nodded. "Yeah, alright. Who wants to partner with Mercedes?"

"I'll sing with her", Puck offered.

"That was pretty quick, Puckerman! You just couldn't wait to get your hands on that, could you!", Lauren screamed from across the room.

He turned to her, horrified. "No, baby, you're the only one for me! I just didn't want to sing to a dude! No offence, Artie."

"No offence taken", Artie muttered sarcastically.

Lauren turned away from them both with a snort.

"Alright, alright, guys, settle down! Brittany, can you sing with Blaine?", Mr Schuester asked.

"No", Brittany said, staring at her shoes.

"Why?", he asked impatiently.

Whispering, she said, "He scares me because he's so short. I think he's one of the seven dwarfs."

_Wow, that was another level of public humiliation_, Blaine thought to himself.

"Fine, fine. Okay, guys, then this is the final pairings: Kurt, you'll sing with Mercedes. Blaine, you pair up with Tina."

"That is _so_ not happening!", Mike suddenly yelled.

Everyone turned to look at him curiously. No one had really heard him lose his temper and yell like that before.

Blaine was horror struck. Why was everyone screaming at him today? He still had no idea what he had done to upset Mercedes to the extent that she couldn't bare to look at him. They hadn't even spoken since they got paired up.

And now Brittany was afraid of him. He was not having a good day.

"And why is that, Mike?", Mr Schuester asked tiredly.

"He's been hitting on my girlfriend!", Mike cried out.

Tina looked horrified, and tried to soothe him but he wouldn't listen.

Blaine was once again shocked beyond belief. "I haven't been hitting on her, what are you-"

"Don't you deny it!", Mike scolded. "You're always together, laughing, talking! I see the way you look at her!"

What the hell was happening today?

Tina once again tried to calm him, saying there was nothing between her and Blaine, but Mike didn't believe her. And why should he, really? The two of them were always together and they often had sleepovers, although not always just the two of them.

It would have been so easy for her to just say "you know what, Blaine isn't hitting on me because he is so freaking gay for Kurt that he doesn't have eyes for anyone else", but that would have sold Blaine out and he hadn't really told that many people about his sexuality. He was really glad she didn't betray his trust and blurt it out, yet he felt horrible for coming between her and Mike. They really were perfect for each other and he wished them nothing but eternal happiness.

Mr Schuester rubbed his temple, obviously really frustrated. "Yeah, yeah, _fine_! Mercedes, you sing with Tina and Kurt sing with Blaine. There, problem solved."

"Excuse me, I am _not_ having my boyfriend sing with some hobbit!", Sam protested, rising out of his chair.

That comment stung more than the other times people had called him hobbit. But really, anything coming out of Sam Evans mouth made Blaine angry and sad and upset, no matter what the words were.

Because Sam had Kurt and that was something that Blaine would never have.

But then something strange happened...

"Sam, shut up."

It was Kurt who spoke, directly followed by a deep sigh. It was the first words he had uttered during the whole drama. Blaine's eyes immediately snapped to him.

Sam looked really offended. "Kurt, you-"

Kurt snapped his head around to look at him. "Sam, I am not going to cheat on you just because I sing one song to another guy. I am tired of you being so overprotective of me all the time. You should trust me, because out of the two of us I am the one with a clear record. Now, please, _man up_ and sit down."

He turned around again and folded his arms stiffly across his chest.

Everyone fell silent, except for Santana who smirked and muttered "_Burned_" under her breath.

"Then that's settled. Now, practise!", Mr Schuester said, beaming to try and lighten the mood in the room.

Blaine couldn't believe his luck. He was paired up with Kurt.

He was actually going to hear the ever fabulous Kurt Hummel sing a song that was dedicated to _him_ where he would explain how he felt towards Blaine_, _out of all people_._

But then _Blaine_ had to sing a song dedicated to _Kurt_ to explain _his _feelings.

But the things in Blaine's heart were totally inappropriate to be singing about in front of Kurt, and most of all in front of Kurt's boyfriend.

_"Just sing whatever is in your hearts."_

What the hell was he going to sing that didn't show just how helplessly in love he was?

Oh my god. He was so screwed.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Oh gosh, thanks for all the reviews and the favorites and alerts. I appreciate you all so very much!**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

Well, Mercedes had obviously snapped. She and Kurt argued all the time, of course, and most times when she got upset about something she came to him. She either cried on his shoulder or yelled at him for hours just to blow off some steam. And now, for some reason, she had obviously had a big fight with Blaine and she hadn't bothered to tell her best friend about it.

Not that Kurt cared because it was Blaine specifically, but he was a little hurt that Mercedes hadn't told him she was fighting with someone. He couldn't stop wondering what they had fought about.

Blaine was always so quiet and shy. Who could ever get mad at him? He was like a little puppy.

Kurt had never even heard him raise his voice before, other than a few times when he had said something a little fiercely to Rachel, but that was different. It was _impossible_ not to get angry at her.

He had been so stuck on the fact that they were fighting that he hadn't even paid any attention to the drama unfolding in front of him. Next thing he knew, Mike was screaming at Blaine.

Wow, everyone was having a go at him today, weren't they? First Mercedes, then Brittany and now Mike. And Mike _never_ screamed, not even at the football games that Sam forced Kurt to come along to. Wonder what Blaine had done to piss him off?

And then Mike cried out, "He's been hitting on my girlfriend!"

Oh. _Oh._ Blaine was after Tina? Wow. He had not seen that coming.

He had kind of assumed that Blaine was gay, but he didn't have much to go on except the way he looked and it was kind of rude to just go assuming things. That's not who he was.

So Blaine liked Tina. Sounds legit. They _did_ spend an awful lot of time together. Every time Kurt set eyes on him she was there too, whether it was in the library, the cafeteria, the hallway or the choir room.

Wait, what? Why had he even noticed that?

But then something happened that totally snapped him out of his mind, his eyes widening in shock.

He only barely caught the words "...and Kurt sing with Blaine".

What. How did that happen?  
He looked up from where he had been staring at his hands folded in his lap, and tried to get a hold of the situation. He was singing with Blaine now all of a sudden?

He couldn't help but feel a slight jolt in his stomach, although he wasn't really sure what that meant.

Was he excited to sing with him? Or nervous? Or slightly ashamed just because he actually was excited? There were so many emotions running through him he couldn't get a hold of them and sort them out to know what they all meant.

"Excuse me, I am not having my boyfriend sing with some hobbit."

Sam's voice broke through Kurt's little sphere of quiet thoughtfulness.

The words left Kurt's mouth before he could really think them through. It was as if he had just been dying to say those words for a really long time and now he had finally had enough and all the guilt, the fear and the disappointment just came out in the form of three harmless, but in Kurt's eyes, rebellious words.

"Sam, shut up."

He barely resisted gasping after he had said it. He had never said that to Sam before. He had thought the words in his head a million times, but never actually said them. It wasn't much, people said it to each other every day. But his and Sam's relationship was dangling on a very thin thread sometimes, and this week it was more so than ever. One single wrongly placed step could end everything. Or maybe he was being over dramatic... maybe it was fine for him to blow off some steam too. God knows he needed it.

He gave a sigh and turned around in his chair, trying to keep his voice steady and not so cold and heartless as he felt when he said his little you-have-to-trust-me-because-I-would-never-cheat-on-you-speech. It was true. He had never cheated on anyone – although it wasn't really unexpected as Sam was his first ever boyfriend – and Sam had cheated not once, but twice.

And to make it all worse, he had cheated twice on the same girl – Quinn.

Both she and Mercedes had warned him when he and Sam started dating. "He'll hurt you", they had said. And maybe it was their warnings, or the way Sam was constantly flirting with others that made him so worried. Who was to say that Sam really had changed? If he could cheat on Quinn – twice – then he shouldn't have a problem cheating on Kurt too. He was an easy target. Yes, he didn't take just any crap people decided to throw at him, but more often than not did he suck it up for "the greater good". He didn't want to disappoint people so he often ended up hurting himself instead of hurting others.

The little speech wasn't much, and it seemed to make Sam more upset than calm, but Kurt decided that he would have to deal with that after the hour of Glee had gone by. They would go home to Sam's house as usual and then he would apologize and make sure they were okay. Yes, that sounded like a good plan.

"Now, practise!", Mr Schuester called out. The result was a lot of chairs shuffling around as all the members went to sit in their pairs spread out across the room.

Blaine got out of his chair and their eyes met across the heads of the others. Kurt's breath hitched in his throat and _wow this is cheesy_. He could swear Blaine was moving in slow motion towards him. There was something so intense in his gaze that Kurt's knees would surely have given in if he had been standing. What the hell was happening to him, and most importantly: why did he feel so vulnerable under that piercing, brown gaze? The connection between them, whatever it had been, was broken by Kurt shifting his gaze from Blaine's hypnotizing eyes to Sam. _Sam_. Oh crap, this was so weird and _so_ bad.

Panicking slightly, he did a quick jump up to the next step and pressed a firm kiss to Sam's lips.

"Are we still on for Breadstix tonight?", he asked, trying his best to smile naturally.

Sam smiled and nodded, appearing to really appreciate the public gesture since Kurt almost never kissed him in front of other people on his own accord. "Yeah, totally. Or we could go to my house after school and order in some pizza?"

Kurt gave him a thumbs up and ruffled Sam's blonde hair a little before bouncing down the steps again to join Blaine who had sat down again. He acted like such a weird lovey dovey kind of guy and that's not who he was. He didn't believe that much in public affection, and he certainly didn't just run his hands through people's hair just like that without reason. It was like he was reminding himself that he was with Sam and no one else. Which was silly because who else would he want?

Certainly not Blaine, the guy he didn't know who never said anything ever and had ridiculous amounts of gel in his hair. He was over reacting. Just because there was a weird tension between them didn't mean anything. It just meant they were both a little awkward with each other because they didn't know each other.

Satisfied with his justification of the weirdness, he plopped down in the chair next to Blaine, his legs crossing automatically.

Blaine looked at him for a few seconds, looking really awkward about the whole situation. Of course he would be, what straight guy wouldn't feel awkward about singing to a gay guy? Even if the gay guy was taken, it was still a little weird.

Before they could start up a conversation, Mr Schuester had interrupted them.

"Guys, listen up! It gets a little crowded in here to have all of you here at the same time. How about half of you find some other room to chat in?"

Blaine's eyes found Kurt's. "So, uh, should we stay here or go somewhere else?"

His voice was actually really nice. Wonder what he sounded like in a solo?

Kurt glanced over his shoulder. Sam wasn't so much as glancing at him. His eyes were locked on Quinn, who was saying something to him.

Kurt turned back to Blaine and smiled. "Let's go to the library."

Blaine nodded and then they both got to their feet. Mr Schuester beamed at them.

"Take thirty minutes or so to talk through what you want to express with your song, and then you're free to go. Okay?", he said.

Kurt nodded and went past him.

Santana and Brittany left the room with them. They snuck around the nearest corner, in the general direction of a shadowy staircase that was a known place for students to make out on during class, and Kurt was pretty convinced they wouldn't get that much work done today.

He and Blaine went in the opposite direction towards the library instead. He shoved his hands into the pant pockets of his Cheerio outfit.

He wasn't really sure what to say or how to act. They had never really spoken much before.

When they reached the library, Blaine lead him to an empty aisle that was full of dust and books that appeared to have been untouched for years.

Kurt looked around at the shelves and slowly let his finger slide against the book spines as they went.

"I don't think I've been here before", he said, his eyes trailing over the different titles.

Blaine shrugged, also gazing at the books surrounding them. They came to the end of the aisle where there was a small table and one rickety chair.

"It's the science fiction section. I've never seen anyone here except for like five people, so I come here sometimes when I need to get away", Blaine explained.

Kurt nodded. He knew exactly what he meant.

But then a blush suddenly crept over Blaine's features, as though he had said too much. Avoiding Kurt's eyes, he muttered, "I'll go get another chair."

He hurried out of the aisle and out of sight.

Meanwhile, Kurt sat down half-way on the single chair and wiggled it a little before he put all his weight on it in case the scrawny chair legs would give in. It wasn't really comfortable but it would have to do. Crossing his right leg over his left one, he continued to gaze around this new section of the library. It was a little weird that he had actually never been in this aisle before. He did like science fiction, although it wasn't exactly something he went around and bragged about.

He really liked being in the library, it was kind of his sacred place. Not many of his friends used to come here, and when they did it was almost always just to tease the stiff librarian. Whenever he wanted a little time to himself, he came here and just sat down and smelled the books. People – especially Sam who couldn't understand how anyone could enjoy the smell of decaying pages – thought he was insane. They thought the library was weird and smelled funny. Kurt loved it, though.

And judging by Blaine's suddenly calm, peaceful face when he reappeared with the second chair, he seemed to get the charm of libraries too.

They sat down on opposite sides of the table, and then there were just the two of them. No distractions.

"So, um, do you have any ideas?", Blaine asked, rubbing the back of his head nervously.

"No, not really."

"Aha... well, um, maybe we should-"

"Why was Mercedes so upset?"

Blaine's mouth fell open for a fraction of a second before he composed himself. He frowned slightly. "You know what, I actually have no clue. She just got up and screamed. I haven't even-"

"But there has to be something. She doesn't just cause a scene all for nothing."

"Guess not. Well, maybe she's annoyed by the fact that I am alive or something, I don't know."

"She's not upset that you're alive. You are her friend."

When Blaine raised a questioning eyebrow, Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, maybe not the _best_ of friends but we're all in Glee. That makes us all friends, doesn't it?"

"Obviously not outside the choir room", Blaine mumbled and peeled off another coat of nailpolish from his nails. The light blue nailpolish was still coating two fingers on his right hand and three on his left. Kurt didn't notice his little nervous habit, but just ploughed on.

"What does that mean?", he asked.

Blaine's eyes snapped up to meet his; blue against brown. No, not really brown – they were kind of greenish, with a hint of brown. He knew there was a word to describe that colour, but it was just out of reach. Not chocolate, it was lighter than that. Wait, why was he naming the colour of his eyes? That was just weird and _oh god, has he been talking this whole time?_

"Uh, sorry, what did you say?", he asked awkwardly.

Blaine ducked his head. "I was just saying that none of us are really friends outside of Glee. You Cheerios never talk to us outcasts, and if we ever try talking to you, some jock gives us a slushie facial."

Kurt cocked his head to the side. He couldn't help but feel a little curious. "You've never tried to talk to me."

Blaine looked at him as though Kurt had just suggested something as crazy as a threesome or something. "Of course I haven't. Sam would kill me. Haven't you noticed that every time another guy comes within touching distance of you, he either gets beaten up, slushied or yelled at by either Sam or one of his friends?"

"That's not true. He's really nice once you get to know him."

"Yeah, okay. I'm sure he's really nice."

"Why do you use that tone? He _is_ nice."

Blaine shrugged. "I'm sure he is. Sorry if I offended you or anything."

Kurt pursed his lips and folded his arms across his chest. It was a habit he had inherited from his mother. Every time he would get upset with his dad, he would do just that; purse his lips and fold his arms, and most of the times his dad would be so overcome with emotion the fight just died out.

"Whatever. So, what were you saying about the songs?", he asked finally. He decided not to fight anymore. It was pointless bickering.

"I don't know. We're supposed to sing straight from our hearts, right? And we don't really have anything to say to each other because we don't know each other. So how about we each pick a song that we sing to each other, but it's really meant for someone else?", Blaine suggested.

Kurt stopped for a second to try and work through Blaine's blurry words, but couldn't figure out what he was proposing.

"Um... what?"

Blaine blushed a little. Waving his hands nervously in the air, he elaborated, "We don't have anything to say to each other that needs to be expressed through song, so how about you sing something to Sam and I sing something to one of my friends. That way we don't even have to practise together beforehand. We'll just practise on our own and then on Friday it will all be over and we can go back to how it was before."

"'How it was before'?", Kurt quoted, definitely not liking where this conversation was going. Why did he have to bring up Sam? They were getting along fine before that. Or, well, maybe not fine but at least _better. _Now there was just a lot of resentment and anger in the air, instead of awkwardness and shyness. He missed the shyness.

"You can go back to singing love songs to your boyfriend and I can go back to avoiding said boyfriend", Blaine clarified.

"Why do you hate Sam so much?", Kurt asked irritably.

He couldn't help it. If it was something he couldn't stand it was groundless hate.

Blaine opened his mouth quickly, but then shut it again and swallowed down the retort. Then a few seconds later, he said softly, "I don't hate him. He hates me. I'm sure you do too."

"I don't hate you."

"You didn't even know my name until we got paired up for this", Blaine said, a little fiercer than before.

"I knew your name", Kurt insisted.

"Mhm, sure you did."

"Do you really think that little of me?"

Their eyes met again, and he almost thought he saw a flicker of fear in Blaine's eyes. Was... was Blaine afraid of him? Had he really turned out that horrible? A year ago no one had feared him. He was the bullied gay kid with the high-pitched voice that people walked all over, and now the people he would have been friends with a year ago feared him? He had no idea he had fallen that low.

With a seemingly effortless twist of his body Blaine got up from his chair and picked up his bag without missing a beat.

"Separate songs, then?", he said, his gaze piercing into Kurt like a newly sharpened knife.

He nodded dully. What else could he do?

Blaine lingered for a fraction of a second, his eyes searching Kurt's for something, but then he turned on his heel and disappeared down the aisle.

Kurt let out a shaky breath and buried his head in his hands. _Great job, Kurt._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I was originally going to post this tonight or tomorrow, but then I figured hey, why not celebrate the fact that I'm finishing off my last project ever in the ninth grade today? After today I'll be - theoretically - free! Yaaay. So, to make a long story short; here's another chapter!**

* * *

_[Blaine's POV]_

"_Blaine Anderson, what on earth were you thinking?"_

"A hello would be nice, Tina."

"_I don't have time for hello's. Is it true that you told Kurt that he should sing to Sam?"_

"Yes. I thought it was-"

"_What were you thinking Blaine! That's the worst thing you could possibly do! What a way to thank Mercedes for all the work she-"_

"What does Mercedes have to do with any of this?"

_"...Oh. No, nothing, I... anyway, Blaine, this is bad!"_

"How is this any worse than actually going on stage and dedicating a love song to him in front of his boyfriend?"

_"Well, at least that would have been honest and you could have dealt with all your feelings instead of bottling them up inside and taking them out on me."_

"I don't do that."

_"No? What about last week when I asked if you wanted to come with me to the cinema and you just kicked over a chair in full rage-mode and left without a word?"_

"That... yeah, okay, maybe I bottle a little."

"_Mhm. So, what are you going to do about this whole thing?"  
_

"What thing?"

_"Kurt!"_

"Oh, that. Well, there aren't many alternatives, are there? I can't go tell him I changed my mind because he'll want an explanation and I can't really give it to him, so I just have to play my part and go along with the plan."

"_You are such an idiot. You should just do what I-"_

"Just because you got your soulmate by telling him you liked his abs doesn't mean that applies to my situation too, Tina. He has a boyfriend already and he'll kill me if I do that. And even if he didn't have a boyfriend, he's still out of my league. We're on opposite sides of the war. Cheerios vs. outcasts. I never stood a chance anyway."

"_I wasn't going to say you should tell him his abs were hot, because he does have a boyfriend. But, you know, telling him how you feel just gives him a fair chance to weigh his options. And he doesn't care who's popular and not, at least not deep down. We were really good friends before he got named head cheerleader and kind of disappeared into that crowd, and I know he is really, really nice but he's scared, and that's why he doesn't talk much to either of us outcasts any more. He doesn't hate us, he's just afraid his protection against Karofsky and the other guys will go away if he shows he likes us too."_

"I still think singing anything at all to him is just a big fat invitation to Sam to beat me up. And he has enough of reasons to beat me up already."

"_But it's more fair to Kurt to-"  
_

"I don't care what's fair to Kurt. He doesn't like me anyway, so the only thing that could come of this is me being heartbroken all over again with a bunch of new bruises as a reminder. He doesn't want to know. I know he's nice and he wouldn't want to break someone's heart, but what can he do? He loves Sam, and I'm not even a valid second choice for him. I have nothing to offer him."

"_I wish you didn't think so little of yourself. You're amazing, Blaine."  
_"Yeah, well, what does it matter? He never even looks my way. A declaration of love won't make a difference, it will just make me sadder and him uncomfortable. It's better to just leave it and give the crush time to fade."

_"Is that what this is? Just a fleeting crush?"  
_

"...No."

"_I didn't think so."  
_

"..."

"_Okay, so you're mad at me now."_

"I'm not mad. I'm just... confused."

_"Okay. Go to sleep, and I'll see you tomorrow. But at least think about what I said, okay?"_

"I promise. Goodnight, love you."

_"Love you too."_

The line went dead and Blaine put his phone on his night stand and crawled into bed, sleep claiming him almost instantly.

* * *

He did regret making that proposition to Kurt. He could have sung something more innocent and not something that really bluntly said "hi, I am in love with you". And now who would he sing to?  
He couldn't really sing to Tina because Mike was so overprotective of her nowadays since he had – very falsely – accused Blaine of being in love with Tina.

She was amazing and Blaine loved her very much, but not in that way. She was perfect with Mike and he wouldn't want them to break up over anything, especially not over him. But he couldn't really tell him about Kurt either, even though it would make Mike calm down and stop accusing him of stealing his girl. Tina knew about Kurt now – and she had apparently known for a while but she hadn't told him out of respect – but that was about it. No one else knew, and he wanted it to stay that way.

* * *

When he came to school the next day, he and Tina pretended as if the phone call the night before had never happened. They met by her locker and went straight to their first class.

At lunch they sat at a small corner table at a safe distance from the popular table.

At first they sat by themselves, making small talk as they ate. But Blaine could see Tina's gaze drifting off to where Mike was sitting with his football friends. She used to sit with them but they were sort of fighting and Blaine knew it was because of him. It was sweet that Tina was defending him but if the result would be her and Mike breaking up, then he wouldn't allow it.

"Go sit with him."

Her head snapped to him, her eyes widened.

"What? No, I don't-"

"Tina. You have to sort this thing out or there'll just be a lot of resentment between you two and... just go sit with him, okay? I'll be fine", he insisted.

She hesitated for a while, but after a lot of reassurances and finally threats from Blaine about what he would do if she didn't go make up with her boyfriend, she finally caved.

"Okay. I'll see you later then", she said, swung her leg over the bench and practically skipped over to the other table, leaving Blaine confident he had made the right choice.

Just because he had this huge fear of being alone in the hostile cafeteria, he wouldn't let it make him petty and selfish enough to beg Tina to stay with him. She needed to talk to Mike, and Blaine had to learn to be independent some day, so why not today.

He wouldn't stick around here, though. He picked up his food tray, emptied it and made a motion to sneak out of the cafeteria. He turned around quickly to look over at the popular table. Tina was smiling and Mike was holding her hand. Good, they couldn't be too mad at each other then.

But before he could leave the cafeteria, he caught a glance of brownish hair and baby blue eyes. His breath got caught in his throat because _oh my god he is so stunning in this light._

But then Sam caught him staring, and he quickly spun around and dashed from the room.

Hopefully no one else would notice him and come after to push him around because he was so unprotected. He usually had at least one friend with him, and although it didn't stop bullies from picking on him he at least had someone to comfort him afterwards.

He made his way towards his locker, thinking he could at least get some use out of his time and study for an upcoming history test.

Just as he grabbed the books he would be needing and rearranged the others so they wouldn't fall over in their absence, he heard quickly approaching steps on the stone floor behind him. His blood ran cold and he couldn't make his body move. Why did he have to freeze like this?

"Hello hobbit", came Santana's voice from behind him.

If it was just her, then he'd be fine. She never hurt him physically.

But when he finally took control over his body and turned around, closing his locker in the same movement, he confirmed that it wasn't just her. She was accompanied by Azimio, Karofsky and... oh god no. Not Sam.  
He didn't have the emotional strength to deal with him today.

He debated whether he could still make a run for it or if they had come too close for him to get out of reach quick enough. If he ran and they caught him, he would be even worse off than if he had just stayed and taken the hit in the first place.

So he decided to stay. Maybe they'd just settle for heckling him and then they'd move on.

But of course he wouldn't be so lucky. Sam pulled out a cup filled to the brim with blue, sticky ice from behind his back.

Thanking god he had brought a clean shirt to change into, Blaine nodded slowly.

"Yeah, okay, go ahead", he said, surprised at how calm his voice sounded.

Santana raised her eyebrows questioningly, not prepared for him to give up so easily.

Sam just smirked and raised the cup, all ready to drench Blaine in the sticky liquid. He hadn't done it in a while because Kurt hated it when he slushied people, but now that Blaine was partnering Kurt for the ballad assignment he needed to let his feelings out in some form, and what better way than to torment the guy that was hitting on his boyfriend?

But just as he was about to jerk his hand forward and throw it, a sharp voice interrupted the scene and he was momentarily startled enough to forget about the slushie that never reached Blaine's face.

"Guys, coach Beiste wants to see you at the pitch right now."

It was Mercedes, and Blaine had never appreciated her more. In his eyes she was nothing short of an angel sent from above to save him from this vicious slushie. Okay, so maybe he was in a slight shock or something.

"Okay, we'll just finish this first", Sam said, but as he and his friends turned to Blaine again they found themselves just staring at the row of lockers.

Blaine had taken the moment of disruption to carefully slip away to safety. When they finally realized that he had escaped, he was already on the far end of the hallway and safely out of reach. He was faster than them, so he had plenty of time to find his usual hiding spot in the shadowy corner underneath a stairway.

A couple of moments later he heard them pass by his safety spot, clearly upset that they hadn't gotten to slushie him today. He peered out to make sure they were gone, only to find Mercedes standing there staring at him.

He gasped and tried to flee back into the shadows, but she yanked him back out by his sleeve.

"Look, I saved your ass back there so now-"

"Why? You've never helped me before. Come to think of it, last time we talked you were screaming at me for absolutely no reason in Glee club."

She gave him a full-out bitch glare.

"That doesn't matter. I-"

"But I want to know. I obviously did something wrong."

She smacked him over the head with the back of her hand.

"Can you shut up for ten seconds so I can tell you something?", she hissed impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

"Right, so I did you a favour and now you have to do one for me. I-"

But just as she was about to reveal this favour she asked of him, Kurt appeared behind her, looking almost terrified.

"What's going on here?".

She spun around, looking as though she had been caught doing something she shouldn't be doing.

"Oh, hi honey. We- we were just chatting", she said innocently.

"I thought you two were fighting", Kurt said, an obvious strain in his voice.

"Oh, right, yeah. We totally were, so I came here to set things straight. We're cool now, right?", Mercedes said, adding the last part as she turned to Blaine.

When he didn't respond, she nudged him rather roughly, making him throw out a quick, "Oh yeah, totally cool."

Although Kurt didn't seem convinced, he didn't press the matter.

Instead he linked arms with Mercedes and tugged her with him away from Blaine without even looking the shorter boy in the eyes.

Blaine was left standing there, confused and not really sure what to believe of it all. What favour had Mercedes wanted to ask him, and why had Kurt seemed so scared when he found the two of them talking?

Shaking his head, he decided to drop those thoughts and focus on his history work. But it was close to impossible to stay focused on reading about the American civil wars when all he wanted to do was run after Kurt, pin him to a wall and kiss him until they both passed out.

He had just created a very vivid mental picture of the scene when he realized that he had been squeezing his books so hard the edges had pressed into his skin hard enough to leave red marks.

Right. Studying.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here's another chapter guys!**

**And by the way I just wanted to say that I do not hate Sam, I actually like him really much. But I needed someone to be Kurt's "bad boyfriend" for this fic and there he was, so yeah. It almost hurts a little to write him as such a jackass since I sincerily like his character originally, but oh well, the story needs it so I just have to suck it up and do it! I have a few storylineplots figured out although I haven't written them yet, and I do not look forward to writing them since Sam is going to be a real ass and... yeah. Wow, this was an unnecessary authors note. Oh well. Long story short: sorry that Sam is being portrayed as a douchebag, but it's needed for the story so yep.**

**Anyway... hope you like this chapter! :)**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

It was a beautiful Thursday morning. The sun was spilling into every bedroom on the street through the shades, leaving the rooms flooded with beautiful morning light. Outside the windows the sky was clear blue, and there wasn't a cloud in sight. It seemed to be the perfect beginning of a day, and many people who looked out on the view sighed in contentment as they got ready for the new day.

This, however, did not apply to Kurt.

He was still in bed, sleeping and wearing pyjama pants and a shirt he had borrowed from Finn. He had awoken once every hour ever since one o'clock, and therefore he was dead tired and refused to get up when his alarm clock rang. Once again it rang, painfully loudly, and he groaned and reached out to tap the button to make it stop, but instead only knocked it over so it fell to the floor. The hit did no impact to its ability to assault Kurt's ears, however, and it just kept beeping in that painfully shrill way that made him want to tear his ears off.

He only barely resisted the urge to scream and instead scrambled out of bed to rip the stupid battery from the stupid alarm. It didn't matter how many times he threw the stupid thing on the floor or pushed the button for it to stop the wake up calls; it just kept going. It's like it had its own life, and its only purpose was to annoy Kurt as much as possible.

"I'll cut you if you don't shut the hell up", he hissed and tossed the alarm clock to the other side of the room and crawled into bed again, nuzzling into his warm pillow and falling into a fitful sleep almost at once. Had he been more awake he might have laughed at the fact that he sounded like Santana or Mercedes with that line, but he was too tired to care.

He had to be at school in like two hours but he couldn't bother to care about that right now. His bed was just _so_ _comfortable_ and _oh my god why does anyone ever get out of bed, I want to just lie here forever and just sleep and-_

His perfect little world was suddenly shattered by some great force pressing down on him, covering him entirely and making it close to impossible to breathe.  
He pushed up against the weird thing pressing on him, gasping out, "Can't breathe!"

The force suddenly lifted and he could sit up straight, gazing cautiously around him to see who the attacker was.

"Hey gorgeous!"

"Go to hell."

Mercedes pouted and sat down on his bed again, much gentler this time.

"You're aware that we have school in an hour? You didn't answer my text so I decided to drop by and rightfully so! You're not even dressed, babe."

He snorted and fell back onto his pillows. "I'm not going to school today."

He could practically feel her rolling her eyes at him. "Don't be silly, of course you are. You never miss school, not even when you're sick. Come on or you won't have time for your skin routine."

"I don't care. I'll stay here forever."

"No, you won't."

"Try me! I'll never leave my bed, it's so cozy."

"Kurt Hummel, you get your ass out of that bed this second or I _will_ jump on you again."

"I'll die if I get out of bed."

"No you won't."

"Yes I will. I'll freeze and fall over and hit my head and get a concussion and then I'll fall out of the ambulance on the way to the hospital and-"

In one swift, brutal movement she ripped the cover off him and left him squirming in the sudden cold.

"GIVE IT BACK!", he screamed, thrashing around like crazy trying to reach it.

"Kurt! Get your shit together! We'll be late", she snapped and held the cover firmly out of reach.

He groaned. "I hate you so much."

But he nevertheless got up and shuffled through piles of clothes for his clothes.

"You are such a five-year-old when you're tired", she chuckled and made the bed for him.

"Will you excuse me?", he asked, trying to sound offended and held up his clothes. "I'd like some privacy when I change."

She raised an eyebrow, her hands on her hips. "Really, Kurt? I know you'll just go to bed again if I leave you alone. And that's the worst way to get rid of me, are you really that bad at making up excuses? Since when are we all shy around each other?"

He stuck his tongue out at her, but didn't argue further and pulled his shirt over his head.

She gave a mock cat call, earning her one of Kurt's trademark bitch glares. He pulled on his Cheerio outfit, matching the one Mercedes was wearing.

Without a word to her, he went and locked himself in the bathroom attached to his bedroom. It was amazing having his own bathroom because he spent so much time there. When he used the family bathroom, his family got crazy with him as they considered their personal hygiene more important than his complicated skin routines that had to be performed twice a day; morning and night.

Once he had finished with both his skin and hair, he joined Mercedes who had gone down to the kitchen. Once he had started taking care of his hair she knew it was safe to leave him alone, because he wouldn't let that effort be in vain.

He lazily went down the stairs and noted that both Carole and his dad had left for work. Finn was sloppily shovelling cereal down his throat.

"Have you eaten?", he asked Mercedes, trying hard not to smack Finn over the head and scold him over his terrible manners.

She shook her head, and he instantly knew she wasn't planning to either. Sighing, he grabbed his jacket from the hall and his car keys from the table.

She just waved him away. "We'll take my car, I drove here, remember? Finn, you coming?"

"I'll 'e right 'here!", Finn said between mouthfuls.

Both Kurt and Mercedes cringed at this.

"We'll go wait in the car", she said and pulled Kurt out with her.

He stifled a yawn with his hand and gazed around the rather empty street. Most people had went to work or school already.

Mercedes unlocked the car doors and sat down in the driver seat, Kurt moving to sit in the passenger seat.

"So, have you figured out what to sing to Blaine?", she asked as they waited.

"We decided not to sing to each other because we don't have anything to say, so I'll sing to Sam and I guess he'll sing to Tina."

He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice, and it annoyed him beyond words because why did he even care?

She snapped her head to look at him so quickly he was sure she must have injured her neck.

"You did _what_?", she raged.

Confused by her strong reaction, he shrugged nervously. "He suggested it, I just thought it was-"

She groaned and slumped back into her chair. "_Kurt_, why are you so thick?"

"Excuse me?"

"All you had to do was keep your mouth shut and this would have all worked out but no, no you had to go split you two up!", she said, exasperated.

"What are you talking about?", he asked, just as annoyed as she was by now.

"Why did you think I had that "fight" with him?"

"You- you two never actually had a fight?"

She rolled her eyes. "Kurt, have you even seen him? He's like a little puppy. You can't get mad at him."

"Well, then why did you pretend to be mad at him?"

"I was just trying to make you two pair up for the assignment..."

"Mercedes!", he shrieked, offended. "I have a_ boyfriend_. You can't set me up with people anymore!"

"Kurt, honey, take it easy! I wasn't setting you up with him, but you know, I think you'd really get along with him. As friends", she said calmly.

"Well, you know how Sam is, he won't really go for that."

"See! That's the problem. Here you have a potential new friend and you're letting Sam and his weird sharing issues get in the way of you and your life! Kurt, I love you and Sam is a good guy, but honey, you have to be more independent or he'll just make you his little puppet and I can't live with myself if I just stood by and did nothing."

He just shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I understand why he gets worried..."

"Kurt no. You... you're blaming yourself, but you're not doing anything wrong! Having friends outside of your relationship is just healthy, he shouldn't be so crazy ass jealous."

"I know. It's just, if I don't try to please him, I...", he drifted off, shifting his gaze to look out onto his front yard.

"What?", she urged softly.

"I'm afraid he'll leave me."

It wasn't more than a whisper, but she heard it. Before he could even say "Lady Gaga", she had wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tightly.

When she let go and put her hand on the steering wheel again, she smiled at him. "He'd be a fool to break up with you, babe."

He smiled too. "Thank you, Cedes."

And Finn chose that moment to come out of the house and dash over to the car. He wasn't always the brightest, but he sure had timing.

He was just about to climb into the car when Kurt stopped him. "You forgot to lock the door."

"Did not!", he protested, straightening up from his half-crouched stance. Kurt's arm was blocking the door so he couldn't get in. Pouting, he said, "I swear I locked it!"

"Go check", Kurt insisted.

Finn snorted and went back to the house and pulled on the handle. The door swung open and a blush crept over his face. He fished out his key from his pocket, locked the door and returned to the car.

"Shut up", he muttered as he sat down and buckled his belt. Both Mercedes and Kurt were snickering to themselves.

* * *

Although he was really tired, the day went by rather smoothly. At least up until lunch, that is.

He was sitting next to Sam, who was talking to Finn about the upcoming football game on TV.  
Kurt was eating his lunch peacefully. Although, to be honest, he didn't eat all that much. Being on the Cheerio squad really changed ones relationship to food. He could barely look at food without feeling guilty. It was really hypocritical since he had begged Mercedes to eat more because she starved herself and it really wasn't healthy, but he was doing the same to himself.

It was just easier to suffer himself than watch his best friend slowly fade away.

The atmosphere around the table suddenly tensed, and he could hear Sam gritting his teeth.

"What?", he asked quietly, gazing over at him from under his eyelashes.

"It's that hobbit. Don't worry, babe, I'll go take care of it", Sam said, gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then got to his feet. Santana, Azimio and Karofsky rose to their feet as well.

"W-what? What are you doing?", Kurt asked, fumbling to get a hold of Sam's sleeve to pull him back.

"He's always staring at you! I'll just go make sure he knows his place, okay?", Sam said, and tugged his sleeve away.

"Sam you-"

But Sam wasn't listening. He and the rest of them went out of the cafeteria, presumably hunting down Blaine. Kurt could feel his throat go dry. He was such a coward for sitting here doing nothing. Hadn't he been in that exact same position just a year ago, and now he was on the bullying side? The mere thought made his insides squirm.

And, what, was that Mercedes? Why was she going after them?  
He shook his head and tried to repress the whole thing, but couldn't shake the images of his boyfriend beating up an innocent boy just because he had been looking at Kurt.  
Sam was being ridiculously overprotective and it was really getting old.

"He's hot when he gets like that, huh?", Quinn said from across the table.

Kurt's head snapped in her direction, his lips stretched into a thin line. "I think it's more of a turn off, actually."

"Really? I think it's hot when my man goes all protective of me", she said, smiling.

"I don't need him to beat people up. If someone bothers me, I can talk to them myself", he said coolly.

She frowned a little, and instead turned to talk to Brittany.

Oh, great, was he picking a fight with Quinn now too? He loved her, they were really good friends. It's just... sometimes she was a little wry when it came to relationships. She traditionally went for the strong, husky guys that could "take care of her", and she assumed others did that too.

But Kurt didn't want Sam to be "his man" that did all the work for him. He wasn't a girl that needed saving, he wanted their relationship to be equal. But Sam really liked being the guy in charge, the dominant part of the relationship that got to beat people up if their eyes lingered on _his man_.  
Kurt wasn't a property he could just claim by fighting people. Sam didn't seem to understand that.

He decided to leave the cafeteria too. He felt uneasy and he just wanted to get away from the public eye.

He decided to go get his books and study a little before his next class.

But just as he was passing by a staircase on his way to his locker, he could hear Mercedes' voice drifting towards him. Who was she talking to?

"Can you just shut up for ten seconds so I can tell you something?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

Oh. My. God.

It was Blaine.

_Ohgodohgodohgod. _She wasn't telling him to change his mind about their arrangement, was she? What if she made it sound like it was Kurt's idea? _God_.

"What's going on here?", he asked loudly, stepping into view.

Mercedes spun around, looking far too guilty for her own good.

"Oh, hi honey. We- we were just chatting."

"I thought you two were fighting?", he asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

"Oh, right, yeah. We totally were so I came here to set things straight. We're cool now, right?", Mercedes said, looking at Blaine who didn't respond. He was just staring at his shoes. Mercedes gave him a rough nudge and he yelped out, "Oh yeah, totally cool."

Kurt locked eyes with Mercedes and she blushed, opening her mouth to say something but Kurt grabbed her arm and dragged her out of there before she could blurt out something.

He tried really hard not to look at Blaine a final time before leaving him there. It was really hard, because there seemed to be some big force pulling Kurt towards him, urging him to just look _once_. But he couldn't show himself weak. And he didn't _feel _anything for the stupid hobbit, so why did he even care.

"Mercedes, what the hell were you telling him?", he hissed as he kept dragging her rather than walking her towards his locker.

"I didn't say anything! Sam was trying to slushie him so I just gave him an opportunity to flee and then I thought he could repay the favour-"

"And how exactly would he repay that favour?", Kurt asked coolly.

She avoided his gaze, saying, "I was going to ask him to sing to you anyway."

"Cedes!", he groaned, letting go of her arm and yanking his locker open, making half its content fall to the floor.

She crouched down to help him pick everything up and store it back in the metal box.

"I'm sorry, Kurt, but I really think you should... um, weigh your options. Maybe not Blaine in particular but just... get out there and meet other people, don't lock yourself up with Sam. Because everyone can tell you're not _that_ into him, and I think you deserve better..."

"I _am_ into him!", Kurt snapped, snatching a book from her hand and shoving it in place in his locker.

"Do you love him?", she asked gently, standing up and leaning against the locker next to his.

He stiffened. They had never said the L-word to each other, a fact that Kurt was actually glad about. If Sam told him he loved him, he didn't know what to do. Because Kurt _liked_ him, and he liked being with him, but did he _love_ him? He wasn't sure.

"What does that have to do with anything?", he asked instead, avoiding her gaze.

She sighed. "I just wish you knew that you're not stuck with him forever."

"I know I'm not _stuck _with him. I like him, okay? Leave it alone. I never bothered you when you were dating Shane even though he was obviously wrong for you."

She pulled him into a hug and petted his hair comfortingly. "I'm sorry."  
He broke free and faked a smile. Even though she could see right through it, she didn't say anything.

"Ready for class?"

* * *

No matter how hard he tried to shake the conversation between him and Mercedes, it was just all he could think of all day. He knew what he had to do, he just didn't know how to do it. He even fell off the pyramid in Cheerio practise because he was so distracted with all the thoughts swirling around in his head.

That fall earned him a scolding from Coach Sylvester who was not at all happy with his performance and forced him to run around the football field five times after practise as punishment.

Once he had done his penalty laps, showered and changed into street clothes, it was nearly five o'clock. The school was rather empty and his friends had already left. Even Mercedes was gone.

Just great. She was his ride.

He picked up his phone to call her and ask her to pick him up. His house wasn't that far away from hers so it wouldn't be a big deal even if she had already come home.

The line was busy so he decided to stop by his locker while he waited. He sent her a quick text telling her to call him as soon as possible.

The hallways were weirdly quiet this time of day. There were some teachers left, of course, but they were all in their offices and not roaming the hallways.

Halfway to his locker he caught a swift movement in the corner of his eye and spun around to see who it was.

A feet away, head stuck into his locker probably looking for something, was Blaine.

Wonder what he was doing here so late?

Kurt stood rooted to the spot for a few moments, trying to decide what do to. Should he go for it, or should he just turn around and continue to his own locker? It would be really embarrassing if Blaine turned around and caught him staring like this though so he couldn't be indecisive forever.

Steeling himself, he walked down the few steps and over to the shorter boy.

He must have heard Kurt's shoes against the stone floor, because he jumped a little and tentatively turned around. His shoulders relaxed considerably when he realized it was just Kurt and not a couple of jocks.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Kurt quickly cut him off with a wave off his hand.

"No, you will just listen to me, okay?", he said. It came out a little sharper than intended, and the sharpness made Blaine nod his head very quickly, as though he was afraid Kurt would yell at him if he didn't do exactly what he was told.

Kurt took a deep breath and then he just got it out. "I changed my mind. We are singing to each other in Glee after all."

Blaine opened his mouth to speak again, but Kurt shot him a death glare that once again silenced him.

"No, don't talk. I know you want to sing to Tina instead of me because you're in love with her, but that was not the assignment so you just have to put up with me. I talked to Mr Schue and he says we're doing the assignment next week instead because school is cancelled tomorrow because he and the other teachers has some seminar, so we still have time to practise our songs together."

"I don't-"

"No excuses! I'll text you time and place for our first practise session later."

"But-"

"What did I say! I'll see you later. Bye."

Then he turned around and stalked off without another word. He didn't go by his locker but went straight out to the parking lot. Mercedes had texted him back while he talked to Blaine and told him she was coming there straight away to pick him up. She was there when he came out to the curb, so he just climbed right in and she drove away from the school.

Had he stayed for just a minute longer, he would have seen a flushed Blaine coming running after him, bag and jacket in hand as he tried to beat his body's restrictions to catch up with Kurt. As he saw Mercedes' car drive around the corner he stopped abruptly, shoulders dropping in defeat, a frustrated groan filling the otherwise quiet air around him.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, so I just realized that I messed up. In chapter 3 I wrote about the Berry-Anderson parents as though they were Rachel's canon parents (=two dads), but then in another chapter I**** wrote about Blaine's mother... so... that doesn't make much sense. So I'll just go with the idea of their parents being one woman and one man because I kind of need their mother in this fic and Blaine being in the closet doesn't make sense either if he has two gay dads, so... just pretend I never mentioned their dads, OK? *****sigh***

**Also, this chapter is kind of short and I apologize for that, but it was originally a longer chapter but I decided to cut it in two so I could upload this part now and keep working on the other one. So... yeah. Both this and the next chapter will be written in Blaine's POV because it's really just one big chapter, and then I'll go back to the regular switching perspectives.**

**Lastly: sorry for all the long confusing author notes, ugh.**

* * *

_[Blaine's POV]_

So, yeah, Blaine's Thursday was eventful, to say the least.

Mercedes was acting all weird. She had actually saved him from Sam's slushie. Yeah, she had never been a bully - quite the opposite - but she never stood up for him either. She, like Kurt, was just too afraid of going back to that life, of being outcasts again. He completely got that, so why was she being all nice to him now?

Okay, nice might be an overstatement. Mere minutes later she was snapping at him and demanding some favour in return for helping him - god knows what she would have asked if Kurt hadn't interrupted their little chat.  
He couldn't help but wonder if the favour had something to do with Kurt. It must have since he looked so panicked when he caught the two of them talking. But what could Mercedes possibly want him to do?

Maybe she wanted him to back off from Kurt. Maybe she thought Blaine would hit on him if they were to sing to each other. Maybe she-

But there was no point thinking about what she may or may not think of him. What did he care, anyway?

His main problem now was finding a song that in a very subtle manner explained how he felt about Kurt, but not so expressive that Sam understood what he was doing. Or maybe he should just pick a random song that had a nice melody and sing it, and not pay attention to the lyrics? Katy Perry was good for that. He could just sing I Kissed A Girl and continue down the road of pretending to be straight. Although that might not be _that_ straight after all. Not that he actually played straight on purpose - most people would actually guess him to be gay because of his fondness for dapper clothing - but Kurt had obviously pegged him as such, and maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

Besides, if someone asked him outright whether he was gay or straight, he would say that he was gay. He didn't _hide_, he just... withheld certain information when not directly asked.

If he stood up in front of the entire Glee club and dedicated a love song to Kurt, he would be dead within seconds. Sam would most probably be the cause of his very sudden death.

But if he ever wanted to tell Kurt about, well, everything, then this was the moment to do it. When else would he get such a golden opportunity?  
He was really torn.

Kurt had said he would text time and place for when they would get together and practise, and pathetic as he was, this was all Blaine could think about. He wasn't sure how Kurt would text him since they had never exchanged numbers, but when it came to Kurt there wasn't much that would surprise Blaine. Maybe he had a secret super power that let him read people's cellphone numbers on their faces.

...or maybe he asked Tina. Either way, he was sure Kurt would find a way to make sure Blaine got informed about when they would meet.  
He was really, really, _really_ nervous about getting that text. How would he answer it? Should he try to be cool (not that he really knew how to), or his own geeky self, or should he just text back a simple 'OK'? He knew that most people hated those OK-texts, but it was at least safe and he wouldn't embarrass himself by accidentally putting a thousands hearts at the end if he settled for that.

All Thursday night he spent thinking about that stupid text. It was ridiculous. It was a simple text message which he hadn't even received yet! How could such a simple - and very ridiculous - thing make him this nervous?

Wait, wasn't that kind of weird? Shouldn't Kurt had texted him by now?

Or maybe they weren't going to meet until Monday or something and then Kurt wouldn't text him until like Saturday night, as a quick heads up so he could clear his schedule after school. Yeah, that was probably it.

"Honey, what's going on with you?"

It was his mother's voice that broke through into his mind that was clouded with thoughts of Kurt and text messages.

They were sitting in the living room, watching some lame TV show. Rachel and their father was eating out at some fancy restaurant for some "father and daughter bonding time", so it was just Blaine and his mother home.

"Uhm, sorry, what?"

She smiled gently. "You've been acting weird lately. Is something wrong?"

He sighed. "It's _so _wrong."

She nodded knowingly. Slowly, she said, "So... there's a girl?"

He blushed, "N-no, not exactly."

She was silent for a few while. They both turned to the TV again, and soon Blaine felt confident the topic had been dropped. He hadn't really come out to anyone but Tina, and he wasn't sure how his family would react if he told them. Rachel wouldn't care, his father would be really upset and his mother... well, that was a big gamble. She'd either support him and tell him she loved him anyway, or she'd cry and ask what she had done wrong to earn her a gay son. They had a really good relationship - especially in contrast to his basically non-existent relationship with his father - and he really didn't want to screw that up.

They had a lovely relationship where they knew each others quirks and they both loved each other for them. Like how Blaine went with her to the dentist because she was so scared she wouldn't go unless he went with her, or how she always made sure to tell him whenever one of the Star Wars, Lord of The Rings or Harry Potter movies were on TV because she knew he'd watch it even if he'd seen each of them a thousand times. They just _got _each other without much effort. It was her and him, whilst Rachel got along much better with their father. It was like they were two teams, and he just couldn't stand putting their relationship at risk by coming out. But then again, she had to know some day. He couldn't stay in the closet forever. Perhaps it was better to get it over with. Or maybe not.

"But there is someone?"

The four simple words made Blaine freeze completely. This was the moment. _The _moment.  
She already implied there was someone on his mind who wasn't a girl, so he'd just have to say that simple word and she'd know everything. She would _know_. Was he ready for that?

Would he come out of the closet, or would he blatantly lie? No one had ever asked him out right, so he had never even had to lie about it. At least not that much. They would ask things like "_so_, how is school? Any pretty girl caught your eye yet?", and he would just answer that no, he wasn't particularly interested in any of the girls.

He just left out the part where there were plenty of pretty boys that caught his eye.

But here he was, alone with his mother who he really loved, her asking him right out if there was _someone_when he had already confirmed said someone wasn't a girl.

He looked over at her and found her looking at the TV, although her eyes seemed distant and he could tell she was just pretending to focus when she was really waiting for his answer.

"Yes."

It was barely more than a whisper.

Her eyes snapped away from the TV and locked on his. He could tell they were swimming with tears, and it just broke his heart.

She would throw him out, yell at him, cry, break things and cry some more while telling him what a disappointment and disgrace he was. He would have to move out or suffer her disappointment for the rest of his high school years. Maybe he could go live with Tina… but then Mike would get even more crazy jealous. Oh god, he was doomed to a life on the streets.

But none of those things happened.

Instead she picked up the remote, turned the TV off and scooted closer to him on the couch to wrap her arms around him.

"I love you just the same, Blaine."

The words were soft, yet firm enough to portray all the things she wanted to tell him through those small words; that it was okay, that she loved him, that she was proud of him, and that no matter what she would always love him and fight for his happiness.

The breath he had been unintentionally holding hitched in his throat and he gasped a little for air. His eyes had been tearing up too, and the tears were now running down his cheeks uncontrollably.

He clutched onto her and sobbed into her shoulder. He didn't even know how long they stayed like that, him crying and her stroking him and whispering soothing words. After a while his sobs ebbed out, and her grip on him loosened.

She gently patted him on the arm.

"Honey, it's just fine. But I think it's for the best if we don't tell your dad about this just yet. He might need some time to adjust to it, and we'll deal with him later, okay?", she said calmly.

He nodded shakily. "O-okay."

"But I don't want you to be ashamed, because there is nothing wrong with you, and I love you very, very much."

He smiled weakly to himself.

Oh god, he had actually come out to his mother. And she was being so calm about it, as if it was expected and... oh god. He had never loved her more.

"Thank you mom."

"No problem, honey. I'm so glad you told me."

He nodded, feeling as though his heart had just swelled five times its size and was now bursting out of his chest. He had come out to her, and she was okay with it.

Suddenly she smiled at him, nudging him teasingly in the side, saying, "So… do you want to tell me about this boy, then?"

It was the first time she had actually said _boy _to him like that, and it was a small thing but to Blaine it was _huge _that she was so normal about it. As if he had just come to her to cry his heart out over a girl instead, like any other straight son.  
He straightened up so they were not fully wrapped up around each other, but kept his hand in hers. He smiled.

"He's wonderful."

They spent over two hours like this; Blaine telling her every little detail about Kurt, how he looked and how his voice sounded and just what colour his eyes were. It didn't matter how many trivial facts he dropped about him, his mother just didn't get tired of listening to him.  
She was just so happy he had found _someone_ - even if that someone was taken and Blaine was currently heartbroken over that. But he _felt _something for someone, and he had always had a hard time connecting to people like that.

And, well, quite frankly she had never seen him so happy as when he talked about this Kurt boy. And anyone who could put a smile that big on her son's face was nothing short of an angel to her.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So... I know Diet Coke is kind of Chris' thing, but I'm sure Kurt loves it too, so yeah.**

* * *

Friday morning Blaine woke up to the sound of a weird metallic sound ringing through his ears. At first he thought he was just dreaming but then the noise just wouldn't go away and he forced himself out of his half-sleep by pinching his arm.

The conversation with his mother the night before was still fresh in his memory and it - along with thoughts of Kurt and potential song choices - had kept him up all night.

He hadn't slept much and was _really _tired. So what the hell was that sound?

Groggily he dragged himself out of bed, rubbed his eyes and lazily peered around his bedroom to locate the sound. It didn't take long until he realized it was his sister's dog chewing on one of his - yes, he had three of them - Star Wars laser swords.

"NO, bad dog! _Bad dog_!", he cried out and hurried to his laser swords' rescue.

He could hear Rachel howling with laughter outside the door.

"Ha ha, very funny, Rach! I'll get you back for this!", Blaine yelled and threw the dog out of his room by its collar.

"You can't just toss him around, are you freaking insane!", she screamed and kneeled beside her dog, patting its head comfortingly.

"Then don't let him into my room this early in the morning!", he retorted angrily.

"Kids, keep it down! We're still asleep in here!", their mother called from her and her husbands bedroom.

Rachel stuck her tongue out, scooped up her dog in her arms and stalked off to her room. Blaine slammed his bedroom door shut and went straight back to bed, falling asleep as soon as his face hit the pillow.

* * *

"Blaine, honey, can you come downstairs?"

"Coming!", he called.

He was lying on his bed, Lady Gaga's Bad Romance playing from his speakers.  
He scrambled out of bed, almost tripping over the clothes and piles of random crap covering his floor.

He kicked away a couple of socks and tugged his bedroom door open.

He was still just wearing a pair of black boxers because that's what he usually slept in. He was always so warm when he woke up in the mornings - or during the night - so he had made a habit out of sleeping in not much more than his underwear.  
There was no one to impress now, anyway, so he couldn't bother to put on clothes.

He doubled back into his room and picked up his phone to check if Kurt had sent a text yet. Nope, no messages from unknown numbers.

He sighed and opened the text he had gotten from Tina.

**From: Tina Cohen-Chang**  
I have to cancel today, I totally forgot I promised Mike I'd come with him and his family to some cabin they've rented...in the middle of a forest...far away from civilization... urgh. Pray for my survival, will you? See you Monday!

**From: Blaine Anderson**  
It's fine, I'll just study or something today. Oh I'm sure you'll survive, you can always sing your way out of a fight with a grizzly bear...or do some jazz moves...  
In case you survive the hungry bears: hope you have fun :D tell Mike I said hi!

He typed the text as he slowly strolled down the stairs. Without looking up from its screen, he said, "Yeah mom, what is it?"

When he didn't get an answer, he looked up, only to find himself staring at three people instead of just the one he had been expecting; his mother, Rachel and- oh god no. No. _No_. This couldn't be happening. He wasn't actually standing, practically naked, in front of Kurt freaking Hummel. No way, it was a hallucination. It had to be.

But then Rachel doubled over with hysterical laughter, and reality struck him like lightning.

Yep, he was indeed standing half naked in front of Kurt. Who looked really, _really _horrified right now. And who had a boyfriend. Who was crazy jealous of every single thing. Wonder how he'd react if he knew Kurt was approximately ten feet away from a boy wearing nothing but boxers?

Not good, Blaine figured.

But the most worrying thing was the way Kurt was _staring _at him. Was it disgust, or shock, or... something else? He had no idea, and he wasn't planning on sticking around to find out.

He turned on his heel, dashed up the stairs and into his room, the door slamming shut behind him.

This was so not good. Why was he _here_? He hadn't texted, or called, or anything. People didn't just show up at other people's houses like that! It was so rude!

But, to be fair, Kurt had never been just "people".

Blaine groaned and tugged open his wardrobe to find some appropriate clothes. Since it would be difficult for him to find something that would embarrass him much further, he just picked the first thing he could reach, which happened to be a pair of black jeans and a deep purple t-shirt matched with a silvery bow tie. He tied it and was just about to go downstairs again when he remembered that he hadn't gelled his hair. _Shit_.

It was one thing standing in front of Kurt in nothing but underwear, but to also have his hair undone was just... he couldn't even think about it without wanting to throw up.  
He locked himself into the bathroom and quickly styled his hair, using lots and lots of gel just to try and calm his nerves. The more gel he used, the better he felt. It was like a protective wall that he put up against the world. As long as his hair was intact, nothing could truly bother him. Sort of.

But there wasn't enough hair gel in the world to make his heart stop pounding when he finally couldn't work in more gel into his hair, and he slowly descended the stairs.  
The hall was empty, and for a blissful second he almost thought Kurt had gone home. But then his mother appeared, looking rather guilty.

"Your friend is in the kitchen", she said carefully.

He grabbed her by the elbow and tugged her away from the wide open door leading into the kitchen, hissing, "Why the hell didn't you tell me it was _him_?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

He just stared at her until she got it. She clasped her hands to her mouth, gasping out, "_Oh! _That was _him_?"

"How many fashionable boys with high-pitched voices and ivory skin do you think I know?", he snapped. But then he remembered how wonderful she had been about this whole coming out thing, and immediately softened. "I'm sorry. Yes, that is him."

"But what is he doing here? I thought he had a boyfriend", she said, frowning.

"He does, but remember I told you we got partnered up in Glee? We have to practise and I guess he just decided to drop by..."

She nodded. Then she made a sad face, saying, "Oh, honey, I'm really sorry I just called you down without a warning. I should have come up to get you instead... I just didn't think you would come down half naked."

He blushed. "Yeah, that was stupid."

She suddenly smiled really wide, making him extremely self-concious.

"Do I have something on my face? Is there a curl loose?", he asked nervously, patting his gelled hair awkwardly.

She shook her head, trying her best to choke down that hysterically wide smile that couldn't just wait to burst out again. "I just…"

"What?"

"…he is _really _handsome."

"Mom!", he blushed.

"Sorry, sorry. Now, don't make him wait much longer, it's not polite", she said and gently pushed him towards the kitchen.

The blood quickly drained from her son's face as he strained against her pushes to postpone the moment when he would have to face Kurt.

"Oh god. Kurt Hummel is sitting in my kitchen. _Ohgodohgodohgod._" He turned to look at her, his eyes widened to the extent she feared they  
would pop out if he didn't calm down. "Mom, I think this is what a panic attack feels like. I'm going to die. I am actually going to die out of embarrassment and oh my god I can't-"

"Shhh, calm down, honey. You can do this", she soothed.

He made a half-hearted attempt to flatten out his hair even more and then stepped into the kitchen, his legs shaking like crazy.

Kurt was sitting on one of their kitchen chairs, his legs elegantly crossed and his gaze travelling around the kitchen. He must have heard Blaine enter, because his head snapped over in his direction. They both blushed simultaneously.

"Hey", Blaine said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Kurt smiled slightly. "Hello."

"So, um, sorry about… that. I didn't know you were coming", Blaine said awkwardly.

Kurt's eyebrows knitted together into a confused frown. "Didn't you get my text?"

Now it was Blaine's turn to frown. "No… I never gave you my number, so I figured you couldn't text me…"

Kurt blushed slightly, although he covered it up partly by taking a sip of water from a glass that Blaine's mother surely had given him.

"Well, I asked around for it. It wasn't that easy though, almost no one had it", Kurt explained.

"Oh, well, I don't give it out to just anyone so…"

Kurt smiled. "Good that I got it myself then, I'm sure I wouldn't qualify for it otherwise."

Blaine couldn't resist but snort at that. As if he could ever be unqualified, for anything, ever.

"Weird that I didn't get your text then if you had my number", he said instead.

"Guess I must have sent it to the wrong number after all… sorry."

"No, it's okay", Blaine assured him.

They were silent for a few moments; Kurt quietly sipping his water, and Blaine trying really hard not to turn around and run far, far away.

"So, um, how do you want to do this?", he asked instead of making his thoughts come true.

"I thought we'd just try out a few songs, you know, try to get to know each other a bit more. It's a little weird singing to someone you don't really know", Kurt said with a little laugh.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I guess we'll go up to my room then. If that's okay?"

"Sounds great", Kurt said and got to his feet.

"Are you hungry or anything?"

A flicker of hesitation darted across Kurt's face before getting replaced by that calm smile.

"No, but thanks anyway."

Blaine hesitated, and then opened a cabinet and pulled out a can of Pringles and a bottle of-

"Actually, do you have some Diet Coke?", Kurt asked suddenly.

Blaine replied by taking out the bottle he had already chosen before the request had been voiced.

Kurt smiled. "You're a Diet Coke fan too, then."

"Yep. Although I actually prefer Pepsi."

"_No_. You've got to be kidding me. Pepsi? Oh, god, that's-"

"-just a joke."

Kurt rolled his eyes, although he laughed too. "I was just about to fight you."

"Hm, I never pegged you as the violent guy."

"I'm not. My way of fighting is basically just a diva-off. And I only do those when it comes to defending the honour of Diet Coke. And some musicals. And Patti LuPone", Kurt joked.

Blaine laughed. He almost forgot to be embarrassed anymore. Talking to Kurt was surprisingly easy.

"I have to say though, I don't drink much Diet Coke either", he confessed. "I'm more of a hot chocolate kind of guy. Or juice. I like juice too."

Oh god. That was so childish. Normal teenagers would answer like, "All I drink is alcohol because I'm such a badass."

Okay, so they wouldn't put it like that but that's what they'd mean. Normal teenagers drink alcohol. Not _juice._

But not Blaine, no. He likes to drink juice and hot chocolate. Great job at not coming across as the nerdiest person alive. _Idiot_.

"Well they're both amazing, but juice is better. Hot chocolate goes best with cold winter nights and Disney, and juice is good all the time", Kurt said thoughtfully.

Oh wow. He liked juice too. An image of the two of them drinking juice together popped into Blaine's head; them sharing the same glass and drinking juice from it with two differently coloured straws. He had to quickly push it away as he felt a blush creeping onto his face.

Instead he clutched the can of Pringles and grabbed two glasses from another cabinet. He asked Kurt to carry the Diet Coke, and then they went up to his bedroom.

On the way there they - of course - ran into Rachel.

"Hi boys", she smirked and winked at Blaine before going past them down to the kitchen.

Blaine only barely resisted going after her to tell her to leave him alone and that he would force her to repay him for the damage done to his laser swords, but managed to keep his feet moving towards his room. Revealing his nerdy obsessions to Kurt wasn't perhaps the best thing to do if he wanted them to have any chance at a friendship.

But his ambition to keep that side of him hidden was immediately shattered once they entered his room.

His bedroom was the heart of his nerdyness with all its posters and books and movies and oh dear god this would not end well.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the late update! Unfortunately the next chapter isn't written yet and I'm going on a five day long festival next week so it isn't very likely I'll get much writing done then. So it might be over a week until the next update, unless I find some spare time to write in (unlikely).**

**Also, this chapter might be kind of off because I've only written short parts of it a time because I've been suffering from intense writers block so I've written like 200-300 words or less per sitting, which isn't how I usually work, plus I've written and re-written most parts of it once the first drafts were done and the different parts all blurred together and... well, yeah, it's a little unfinished I think and I apologize if it comes off weird in some places.**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

Images of Blaine's bare chest kept popping up in his mind and he had to try really hard to block them out and not linger on them. The worst part was that he deep down really didn't want to block them out, because oh god, the shy guy with the ridiculously gelled hair that he had never paid much attention to looked _good._

And to say he looked 'good' was just the understatement of the year, but the other descriptive words coming to mind were no where near appropriate. But no. Those were bad thoughts and he needed to get his shit together.

He gave himself a mental scolding, feeling an intense urge to slap himself really hard just to get himself together and stop having those inappropriate thoughts.

_Guess this is what Dobby felt like when he almost revealed The Chamber of Secrets to Harry, _he thought to himself as he dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand. Oh great. Was Blaine's nerdiness rubbing off on him? He had been unconsciously incorporating a lot of nerdy references in his mental monologues the last week.

Yeah okay, that one he couldn't really blame on Blaine. He had always had an inner nerd, he just hid it from his friends (and sometimes himself)._  
_

He finally got himself together enough to realize they had reached the second floor of the Berry-Anderson house and were currently standing outside a door that must be Blaine's.

He gave Kurt a nervous glance over the shoulder and then pushed the door open._  
_

When they stepped into the bedroom with the beige colored door, the very first thing Kurt noticed was the music booming out through a pair of speakers on a shelf on the wall opposite the bed.

He laughed lightly, turning to look at Blaine with a raised eyebrow.

"Really? Boys Boys Boys? Because that's _really_ straight."

Blaine blushed first, and then his eyebrows knitted together, and he folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not straight."

This threw Kurt off completely. Fumbling with his words, he finally said, "But… but, you like Tina."

Blaine just rolled his eyes. "Mike only thinks I like her because I spend so much time with her. I… it's not her I like."

He blushed and looked away. Kurt had no idea why. He was really puzzled by all this.  
Then something clicked, and he gave a slow nod.

"So… you like Mike, then?"

"Yes!"

The answer was so quick, he didn't know what to think. Either Blaine was lying, or he was relieved to finally be rid of this secret. Kurt really didn't know what to make of it.

He decided to drop the topic. It wasn't his place to go snooping around in Blaine's romantic interests. He had no right. And he didn't care, so why would he want to know anything about the guys Blaine liked?

It was a little hard to put the thought out of his mind – he was actually gay! _Wow_ – but he forced himself to it, and Blaine seemed relieved the topic had been dropped.

Kurt turned back his attention to the room he had just stepped into.

It didn't take more than a fraction of a second to realize this was the bedroom of-

"You're a geek!"

The words rolled off his tongue before he could stop them. It wasn't meant as an insult, really. At least 80% of the nerdy stuff Blaine kept in his room was something that Kurt himself fanboyed over and could relate to, although all his own stuff were mostly crammed into a hidden part of his closet. Sam wasn't that into Harry Potter or musicals or any of those things he fanboyed over, so he kind of had to hide it from him.

"I prefer 'enthusiastic collector'", Blaine muttered and closed the bedroom door behind them, revealing that the door too was covered in cut out articles and posters and weird little post it-notes with quotes on them.

He knew it was rude to just go rummaging through someone else's room, but oh god, his fingers were just itching to explore every inch of this amazing room. It had everything!

There were two bookshelves in the room, both towering up to the roof, completely crammed with books in all shapes and sizes. Quickly scanning them he saw the entire series of Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Lord of The Rings, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and a bunch of other fantasy/adventure themed books. There were magic and dragons and wizards and evil trolls and heroes and everything a good book needed.

Next to the book shelves was a much thinner shelf – also going all the way up to the roof – that instead of books held tons of CD's. Kurt immediately noticed that the CD's were arranged according to genre and then alphabetically according to artist. If it was one thing he liked in a guy it was organizational skills. Wait, what? The guy he liked was _Sam_, for god's sake.

There were all kinds of CD's; soundtracks from different movies (Kurt couldn't help but notice the soundtrack to Velvet Goldmine crammed in next to what he believed was the entire soundtrack collection of every Disney movie worth watching), the whole collection of Katy Perry including all of her singles and so far released B-sides, the entirety of The Beatles' released work, a couple of CD's by Britney Spears and other pop singers and a lot of random CD's that appeared to be either inherited from his parents or bought secondhand.

There was a bed in one of the corners of the room, and although it was a single bed it seemed to be quite roomy. On the wall above it was a huge poster with the Hogwarts emblem with the four houses and 'Hogwarts' written across it in yellow bold letters.

"I know it's weird, but uh, I-"

"Oh. My. God. What is this?", Kurt gasped out, rushing over to the wall opposite the bed.

It was a big cardboard figure of Darth Vader taped to the wall. Kurt barely resisted the temptation of poking it, and instead turned back to Blaine, his eyes wide. "Where did you get this?"

Blaine seemed shocked at his enthusiastic reaction. "I, um… I got it at the cinemas after the last screening of one of the films."

Kurt looked back at the figure, admiring it. "How much did you pay for it?"

"I got it for free. They just throw them out once they've stopped the screenings so I just asked if I could take it and they gave it to me."

Kurt looked as though this scrap of information had completely blown his mind, which it in a way had.

"That is amazing! Oh, oh, do you think they do that with those Harry Potter figures too? I think the last date is next week and then they'll stop showing the last movie. Do you think I could go and ask for one?", he asked, almost jumping with excitement.

Blaine nodded hesitantly. "Well, maybe. It's Harry Potter, so chances are someone else has asked them, but you can always try."

Kurt's smile faded a little then. "Oh..."

Blaine hurried to continue on, "- but uh, well, I have a friend who works there so maybe I can ask her to pull some strings or something. She doesn't have that much power but maybe she can help a little at least. I could give you her name so you can ask for her when you go there, and then you can say that I sent you and she should be willing to help."

"Oh, wow, really? That's so nice", Kurt exclaimed.

Blaine smiled a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, well..."

Things were getting a little awkward, so Kurt quickly changed the subject by walking over to another piece of wall that was covered by the shelf carrying the speakers, CD player and vinyl player.

A few dozen vinyl records were neatly stacked on the ledge beneath the one holding the technological things. He carefully took out one of the records, smiling. "I actually have this too."

It was The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, by David Bowie.

"It's amazing", Blaine agreed, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.

Kurt suddenly blushed and put the record back where he had found it. Fiddling nervously with his hair, he laughed and said, "We should practise."

Blaine gave a shy smile in return. "I thought we were."

Kurt smiled too, dropping his hands from his hair and down to his sides. He was much more relaxed now, which was both a relief and a worry.

Why was everything so easy with Blaine? It shouldn't be.

It was a little awkward, yes, but they seemed to just click in a way Kurt usually didn't click with people. Maybe it was the fact that Blaine had a huge Darth Vader taped to his wall that made him feel so reluctant to ever leave Blaine and his room – because really, who the hell would actually get the idea to have a Darth Vader that size taped to his wall? Only the weirdest, most passionate little nerd hobbit would do that.

But what if it was something else? What if it was something that didn't have so much to do with the decorated walls and the nerdy merchandise he obviously had heaps of, but rather had something to do with the way Blaine smiled at him and how his eyes _glowed_and how all he could think about was how delicious Blaine's lips looked.

Those thoughts were dangerous. It was those kinds of thoughts that led to cheating and guilt and resentment and, in the end, a break up.

And Kurt lov- _liked_ Sam very much, and he would never want to hurt him. Therefore, _those_ thoughts were forbidden and he had to distract himself to not get caught on the fact that Blaine was looking so ridiculously handsome he wanted to cry a little.

Instead of voicing any of these thoughts, he strolled over to Blaine's bed and plopped down on it. Smiling slightly, he said, "We really should do something productive."

Blaine nodded in agreement, and instead of joining him on the bed he went over to his CD collection, flipping through the covers distractedly.

"So... how should we do this?", he asked, shyly glancing at Kurt.

"I think it's best we get to know each other a little more first. To make things less awkward."

Not that things had been particularly awkward so far, but he couldn't deny he was intrigued by the boy with the nerdy obsessions. And getting to know him a bit more wouldn't hurt.

At least that's what he told himself, despite all the warning bells ringing like thunder in his ears.

Blaine tore his eyes away from his records, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay, so what do you want to know?"

Kurt shrugged, not sure where he wanted this conversation to lead. Then an idea hit him. He sat up a little straighter, eyes locked on Blaine's. "Okay, so, I say a word and you say whatever comes to mind when you hear it. Just the first thing you associate it with, alright?"

Blaine nodded tentatively.

"Okay, so... music."

"...freedom."

"Cats."

"...dogs."

Kurt groaned. "_No_, seriously? Why do people always say dogs when they hear cats?"

Blaine pouted. "I love dogs. Dogs are adorable. Don't you like dogs?"

"I prefer cats. They are so graceful and have more personality and they're not clingy like dogs are. Cats have their own life, yet they still love and protect you, just not in the forever attention-seeking way that dogs do. I- I just love cats okay."

"Yeah, I love cats too. Rach has a dog but he hates me. I've always wanted my own dog but our parents only allows her to have one because 'I'm not responsible enough'."

"Oh", Kurt said and frowned. Then, smiling proudly, he said, "I have a cat myself."

"Oh, you do? I'd love to have a cat too. But, yeah..."

"You'll have to meet mine some day, then. He doesn't let many people pet him but you can always try."

He realized the moment he said it that it was bad. He was supposed to get through this _thing_ without getting overly attached – not that he had even managed to follow that plan like at all so far, but still - to this boy and now he was inviting him over for a "meet my cat"-date?

_NO_. Not a date. A "meet my cat"-get together. God, what was happening to him?

Blaine however didn't seem to notice his blush, and instead only smiled shyly at him and carefully sat down on the bed next to him, a safe distance still maintained between them. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Kurt gave a curt nod and avoided Blaine's hypnotizing eyes for a good couple of minutes to make sure his racing heart had time to slow down and normalize. Instead he continued on with the little game they had ventured into.

"Broadway."

"...amazing."

"Summer."

"...ice cream. And strawberries."

Kurt shook his head, a fake stern look on his face. "No, you can only pick one."

Blaine looked perplexed for a moment. He bit his lip softly, pondering what to choose. Then he cocked his head slightly to the side – and in that moment Kurt wanted to push him off the bed because Blaine had just _no idea_ how completely adorable he was – and in one breath said, "Icecreamandstrawberries."

Kurt laughed, a little louder than he had laughed near Blaine before. It was one of his most genuine laughs, the one most people didn't get to see. Blaine just seemed to unconsciously coax it out of him.

"Well, alright, if you put it like that. So... hmm... puppies."

"...adorable!"

"Katy Perry."

"..._FANTABULOUS_!"

"Really? Fantabulous?"

"I, uh, was going to say fantastic and then I switched midway to fabulous. Fantabulous."

"Sure", Kurt laughed. Then he added, "Christmas."

"...magical."

"Chocolate."

"...cake."

"Fashion."

"...you."

They both fell silent for a few moments, gazes locked together and eyes blown wide.  
Wait, what?

Blaine quickly scrambled off the bed, mumbling something about having to study and that Kurt should probably go.

"But we haven't done anything for the Glee assignment", Kurt exclaimed, almost desperately.

"We'll do it next week", Blaine insisted.

"Okay..."

Kurt got the hint and got off the bed too, searching the room for his bag and then hauling it over his shoulder.

"So, um...", he said, awkwardly glancing at Blaine who refused to meet his eyes.

"Yeah."

Blaine walked with him down the stairs and awkwardly stood by as he put on his shoes and jacket. Kurt, pathetic as he was, took as much time as he could tying his shoelaces just to have a reason to linger as long as possible. But when he had finally tied them in neat bows, he had to admit defeat.

"See you later then", he said and opened the front door.

A pair of running feet bounced down the stairs, and soon Rachel's face popped into view. She grinned, looking between the two slightly flushed boys.

She went and wrapped an arm around her brother's shoulder, acting oblivious to the way he tried to squirm away from her.

"Hi boys. Having fun?", she asked, giving them both a knowing smile.

"Don't you have something better to do?", Blaine snapped.

"Nope, I don't", she smiled.

Blaine threw Kurt a quick glance, before turning to Rachel again. "Finn called and asked for you by the way."

This had the desired effect and made Rachel jump up and down, clasping her hands together hysterically, while squealing, "_He did_? Oh, what did he say? Should I call him back? I should call him back, shouldn't I? I'm going to call him back."

Then she dashed from the hall and left the two boys alone.

"Finn didn't call her, did he?", Kurt asked, smiling.

"Why would he? He has a girlfriend."

Kurt's smile faded, and he nodded seriously. "He does."

They were both quiet for a few moments, staring at each other, both unable to look away. Then, finally, Kurt broke the tension and opened the door a little further, stepping outside.

"I'll see you next week, then", he said, gave a quick wave and then closed the door.

As he walked out to his car, he could hear Rachel's shrill voice coming out of the open kitchen window.

_"You lied to me! He didn't call me! Blaine I hate you so much, you are the worst brother in the whole world! I will burn your room to the ground and take all your stupid Katy Perry records and burn them in a separate pile and then I will spread their ashes over your dinner tonight and force-feed it to you while throwing glasses at your stupid head as a metaphor for the way your cruel lies shattered my heart!"  
_

Mentally scarred by Rachel's screams, Kurt drove back home, making a mental note to never ever in his life cross Rachel Berry-Anderson.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Well would you look at that! I did find time to write! Thanks to super effective writing skills at 3am, woho. It's not very long though!**

* * *

_[Blaine's POV]_

As soon as Kurt left, Rachel was all over him, screaming things about... whatever. He wasn't paying attention at all. He thought he caught the word "burn" somewhere in her ranting, which made him feel a little uneasy, but before he could ask her to repeat what she had said, she had stalked off and slammed her bedroom door shut.

Oh well, it was just like any other day at the Berry-Anderson household.

He was just about to go up to his room when Rachel emerged from her room again, looking a little less explosive but still rather upset. She deliberately blocked the way to his room, putting her hands on her hips and glaring sternly at him. "I want to talk to you."

He tried to push past her but she just pushed him back. She was freakishly strong when she wanted to.  
When he realized that he wouldn't reach his room until he got this whole talk over, he nodded and relaxed his posture to show he wasn't going to run.

Rachel nodded as well, and relaxed a little too, though she didn't step out of his way. "So... what is going on with you two?"

Blaine frowned. "What? Me and who?"

She aimed a kick to his leg, but he jumped out of reach. "What! I'm not playing dumb, I just don't know who you're talking about."

"Kurt of course!", she said, rolling her eyes.

"Why would anything be going on with me and Kurt? There _is_ no me and Kurt. You know just as well as I do that we're paired up for Glee so he just came over to-"

"I'm not stupid", she snarled, cutting him off. "I know he wasn't here to seduce you. But the way you were looking at him-"

"I wasn't _looking_ at him, I was making small talk! You know, kind _civilized_ people do that sometimes!"

She aimed another kick at him, and this time she hit him. "You were so not just making small talk! I know what flirting looks like and that was it."

"He has a boyfriend, Rach. And I'm straight, so can you just back off?"

She gave him a patronizing look. In a mock sweet voice, she said, "Blaine, sweetie, do you really expect me to believe that?"

Now it was his turn to kick her, but she avoided the attack smoothly. Gritting his teeth, he said, "I'm _not _into him."

"You so are!"

"Don't you have a couple to break up?", he snarled, and once again tried to go past her, but she blocked him and shoved him away from her.

"Just admit it! I know you like him but he's _taken_, Blaine, so you'll only get hurt-"

"With that logic you'll get hurt too, so why don't you take your own advice before you try and mess with me."

"So you _do _like him!"

"I didn't say- Rachel, please, leave it alone? What does it matter anyway, he has Sam and I have- well, other stuff", he finished lamely.

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

He eyed her suspiciously. Was she really just trying to protect him from harm? They didn't often have sweet sibling moments like that.

They usually just fought.

"And, well- are you sure you want to be going all nerd lovey on a _cheerleader_? You could do better, you know", she said.

He rolled his eyes. "It's kind of hard to top him, don't you think?"

She giggled madly, and it took him a few moments to realize his mistake. Once he did, he blushed furiously. "I didn't- you know I- _Rachel get yourself together, _you have such a dirty mind, oh my god!"

She leaned in to kiss his cheek and then stepped out of the way so he could freely go to his room.

"Love you too little bro", she sing-songed, smiling widely.

"You're like thirteen minutes older than me!", he shouted after her as she danced away to the kitchen.

Slamming his bedroom door shut behind him, he took the few steps separating him and his bed and faceplanted on it. The music had stopped playing from his speakers and the room was dead quiet. The only thing breaking the silence was the vague sound of Rachel shuffling around in the kitchen downstairs. He sighed to himself, flipping over so he was on his back instead, staring up into his ceiling.

Maybe he should try to study, or clean up his room, or something slightly more productive than just lying there. But the bed was _so_ comfortable and he didn't have enough strength to get up just yet. It didn't take long before he fell into a shallow sleep.

But soon – or at least it felt soon, but considering he was as good as asleep his judgment couldn't be trusted, and it was more likely about an hour later – his phone vibrated somewhere on the bed next to him, and he made a sloppy movement to try and pick it up. After a few moments of struggling he finally clasped his fingers around it and brought it up to his face to see what his stupid phone deemed important enough to interrupt his nice little nap time.

It was a text from an unknown number. For a moment he considered tossing the phone across the room and go back to sleep, but something made him press Open despite his inner self trying to coo him back to sleep.

**From: Unknown  
**Hi! I just wanted to make sure I got your number right this time. -Kurt

He stared at the screen for a good five minutes before he slowly got himself together and typed a reply, and then saved the number into his phone.

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**Why yes you did. Dare I ask how you got this number? -Blaine

He was feeling really nervous about texting Kurt. He didn't really know why, and it was kind of pathetic.

He rolled over onto his stomach, and reached over for the stereo remote to put on some music again in hope it would calm him down. He didn't go change the CD so, naturally, Bad Romance was soon vibrating through his room. He skipped a few songs until it landed on Speechless.

The reply text from Kurt came quicker than he had dared hope for. It was almost as if Kurt was on edge texting him too. He pushed that thought away. Kurt was _not _nervous about texting him, and fooling himself to believe so was just dumb.

**From: Kurt Hummel  
**Oh, I've got my ways. But I actually wanted to ask you a favor. If that's okay?

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**Shoot.

He chewed nervously on the inside of his cheek as he waited for the reply that seemingly never came. But in a few minutes time, when the song after a few skips backwards had changed into Monster, it finally came, and his fingers ran hastily over the screen to reply.

**From: Kurt Hummel  
**Well I was wondering if you'd like to come with me to the cinemas tomorrow. They're showing part 2 of the Deathly Hallows at nine.

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**Oh. Shouldn't you ask Sam?

**From: Kurt Hummel  
**I did, but he doesn't like Harry Potter. And I thought it might be easier to get one of those free thingies if you come too, since you know that girl who works there.

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**Oh, well, yeah, of course I'll come in that case.

**From: Kurt Hummel  
**Great! I'll pay, since you're just doing me a favor.

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**Oh, no, I'll pay for myself. Otherwise Sam might get the wrong idea. It's not a date, right, so you don't have to pay.

The second he sent that text, his face got so hot he thought he was actually burning up. Oh _god_, why did he even bring up the word 'date'? As if he secretly hoped Kurt would reply 'oh well I actually just broke up with Sam so it _is_ a date. By the way, I am secretly in love with you, ok bye'.

**From: Kurt Hummel  
**I'm paying, there's no point in arguing. See you at the cinema at eight?

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**We'll settle that tomorrow. Eight it is. And may the force be with you.

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**Oh god I'm sorry I couldn't help myself. Forget it. See you tomorrow.

He turned his phone off, shoved it in under his mattress and curled up in a fetal position, cursing himself and his nerdy tongue – or rather his nerdy fingers.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This is kind of a late update, sorry about that. I kind of like this chapter though, because who doesn't love a fanboying Blaine?**

**Perhaps I should mention that there are Harry Potter and the Deathly hallows spoilers in this chapter (somewhere at the end, I think) , although I trust almost everyone has seen and/or read it already.**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

"What about this one?"

"That's a little too greyish, don't you think? Maybe something purple, or... red, maybe? I don't know, I'm not any good at this stuff, Kurt."

"Why are you even here if you won't give me advice?"

Kurt dropped the black-and-grey shirt he had in his hands and dropped down onto the bed next to Mercedes, who was looking apprehensively at him.

"I'm here to spend time with my best friend, that's what!", she said. Then, giving him a mock hurt look, she said, "But if you don't appreciate me, then maybe I should go..."

"Oh come on, Cedes, don't be such a drama queen. Not today. I'm stressed out!"

"And why is that?", she asked innocently as Kurt jumped up again and went back to rummaging through his closet. "Oh _right_, you're meeting Blaine today. Remind me again, how did you talk him into going on a date with an unavailable guy?"

He turned around and shot her his sharpest look. "I didn't talk him into a date because this is _not a date_. Okay? We're just friends. Or scratch that; we're barely anything at all. He's just doing me a favor."

"But you're still running around trying to find nice clothes to wear, and you plan on paying for him. Sounds like a date to me", she said, winking.

"Firstly; every day is an opportunity for fashion, and this is no exception. Secondly; I'm only paying because I want to return the favor. And thirdly, and this is the most important one; _please_ stop calling it a date because it freaks me out."

She moved her fingers across her lips as though sealing it and then threw away her pretend key over her shoulder. He rolled his eyes and went back to staring at his clothes as though hoping the right outfit would jump out and present itself to him.

"How about this, then?"

* * *

A few hours later, Kurt found himself in his car driving over to the cinema where he was supposed to meet Blaine. He was getting more hesitant with each minute that passed. He kept telling himself he was only doing this for the Harry Potter thingy he hoped to get for free with Blaine's help, but he couldn't help but feel a little excited that it was Blaine who he was approximately ten minutes away from meeting.

He parked as far away from the cinema as possible at the parking lot, hoping to clear his mind a little on the walk over. He wasn't sure if he wanted Blaine to already be there or if he would prefer waiting for him. He decided it would be best if he wasn't there just yet. He was feeling nervous, and he didn't like it because he shouldn't be nervous like this in any other situation than when he was meeting Sam. _He_ was the one who was supposed to make Kurt's heart start pounding whenever he saw him. Blaine wasn't supposed to do that, so why wouldn't his stupid heart get that and stop fluttering?

He had never really believed in true love, or fairy tales. Ever since he realized that he liked boys in the way he was supposed to like girls, he had just come to terms with the fact that he would never experience those things that he saw in the movies. He would never be part of a love story as great as any of those he read about in his favorite novels, because he wasn't like them.

He was the kind of person who saw things for what they were; he saw the cold hard truth. And he had never expected to feel the kind of love that he had read about countless times, or seen in movies. Because _that_ didn't exist. At least not for him. What he and Sam had wasn't that kind of heart-stopping, run into each others arms every time they meet-kind of thing. It was more... casual. They liked each other, they went on dates and they kissed and held hands. They hadn't done _it_ yet, because Kurt was too uncomfortable with the idea to even dare try it.

Sam was getting a little impatient with the whole thing; as far as he was concerned, they should have 'done the deed' on their first date. He didn't see the point in waiting. He was, by his own words, a man with manly urges that needed to be satisfied.  
And Kurt kind of settled for that, because for so long he had been convinced that no one would ever want him. For years he had been met by nothing but contempt – even those he today called friends had tossed him into dumpsters and pushed him into lockers as they passed. And what if Sam was the best he would ever get? Maybe what they had was true love. Maybe 'love' wasn't as great as everyone made it out to be.

But then again... if love was sitting in the stands, watching your boyfriend run around a football field yelling commands to his friends and kicking around a ball, then what was this he was feeling as he set eyes on Blaine, standing stiffly next to the entrance, his gaze shifting around clearly looking for Kurt? What was that warm feeling that started out in his gut and then spread out through his entire body until it felt like he was actually on fire?

He shrugged his shoulders and stuffed his hands into his pockets to stop them from shaking. He took a deep breath, chased all thoughts from his mind and managed to produce a convincing smile as he walked up to Blaine.  
As soon as he noticed the taller boy, he stood up even straighter, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Hi!", Blaine called out, waving enthusiastically. His smile vanished rapidly, and a blush crept onto his face in its absence. He looked really embarrassed, but Kurt just found it endearing rather than stupid.

"Hi", he said softly as he came up next to him.

They looked at each other for a few moments, neither sure what to say. Suddenly Blaine gave an awkward laugh, and nodded his head in the direction of the cinema. "We should go so we don't miss the commercials."

Kurt nodded, a vague smile on his lips. "I love those."

Blaine caught his eye and then looked away and gave some weak attempt at a cough. "Um, yeah, let's go then."

The air between them was tense and weird, and Kurt almost wished he hadn't suggested this in the first place. What if it would be this weird all night?

Blaine went to the box office to buy the tickets, but Kurt managed to cut in front of him so he got there first. Unfortunately, the girl selling the tickets caught sight of Blaine over his shoulder, and broke into a wide grin.

"Blaine, honey!", she beamed, showing off all her white, shiny teeth.

Blaine grinned back, shouldering past Kurt and taking out his wallet. "Hi Karen. How are things?"

"Oh, you know, luxurious as always", she said, gesturing around the little cubicle she was sitting in. "How about you?"

"Oh, it's just fine."

"Glad to hear it! So, you here for another round of Deathly Hallows?", she asked, winking at him. "This must be, what, the fifth time?"

"Really? Five times?", Kurt joked.

Blaine blushed profoundly, glancing over his shoulder at Kurt who was trying his hardest not to smile. Kurt himself had been to see it three times so far.

Blaine turned back to the girl, and gave her a weak smile. "Yeah, that's right. Two tickets this time though."

She smiled at them both, her eyes twinkling. She nodded her head towards Kurt, saying, "Well, I must say, Blaine, this guy looks like a keeper. That one you dragged with you last year, I-"

Kurt felt his whole face heat up. She thought they were on a date. Oh god. He should say something. He should object, make it clear that he had a boyfriend already, that they were just friends. He should just say _something_, anything at all. But no words came out. Instead it was Blaine who spoke, and for some odd reason his words seemed to stab into Kurt's heart like a hammer.

"Oh, no. No, no, no. We're not- no." He gave an uncharacteristic high-pitched laugh. "We're just friends."

Her smiled faded slightly. "That's a pity, you're really cute together."

Both boys remained silent, Kurt shifting his feet and looking anywhere but at Blaine.

Blaine broke the heavy silence first, clearing his throat. "So, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor."

"Yeah, of course", she said, nodding.  
"Well, you know that Darth Vader figure you got me? I was wondering if you could score one of those Harry Potter figures too."

"Oh! Well, I don't know, they're usually requested before they're even put up. But I'll check with my boss and then I'll let you know, okay?"

Blaine smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that'd be great."

She smiled too, and turned around in the little cubicle and ripped off two tickets from a long strip. Blaine paid for them both – Kurt was still too shocked to really notice – and then they were let inside the cinema.

"Ooh, popcorn! Do you want some too?", Blaine asked, scanning the snack sections.

"Oh, I don't know", Kurt said, hesitating. He had eaten enough junk food this week to last him a life time. He really shouldn't. Coach Sylvester would strangle him with her bare hands if he gained a single pound.

But Blaine's eyes were glittering with excitement, and the word 'no' was suddenly no where to be found in his vocabulary.

Shrugging, he said, "Okay."

Blaine was still staring at the different menus, and didn't seem to hear his reply. Kurt took the opportunity to sneak past him up to the counter, rushing out the order so Blaine wouldn't catch up with him.

"Hey, what are you-"

"You paid the tickets, I'm paying for snacks", he said firmly over his shoulder, putting the money on the counter. The guy selling the snacks gave them both a few weird looks but said nothing as he handed back the change along with a big paper cup and a _huge_ popcorn cone. Kurt put the money into his wallet and went to fill up the cup.

"Hold this", he said and handed Blaine the popcorn. "Is Diet Coke okay?"

Blaine nodded, taking a few popcorns and popping them into his mouth. "These are delicious!"

Kurt turned to take a few himself, still pouring Diet Coke into the cup from the machine. He accidentally moved his hand so the sticky drink got all over his hand and onto the sleeve of his jacket.

"Oh, _no_!", he moaned, putting the cup down next to the machine and grabbing a few paper towels to dry himself off. In a defeated kind of voice, he said, "It's going to stain."

"Don't worry, there are tons of ways to get that stuff out even when it's dried", Blaine said, still eating away from the popcorn cone.

Kurt eyed him carefully. "Are you sure?"

"Totally. I mess up my clothes all the time, I know all the tricks in the book."

Kurt was still feeling anxious, but decided there was nothing he could do. He pulled the jacket off, folded it neatly and put it in his bag. He wasn't going to go around looking like a slob even if he would freeze this way.

He dried of the cup and then put it under the machine to fill it completely.

Once they were all set, they went into the movie theater to find their seats. They were seated in the back row, right in the middle.

"Ooh, this is the best spot!", Kurt said excitedly as they settled down.  
Blaine didn't answer, so Kurt glanced over at him to ask what was going on, only to find he was literally bobbing up and down in his seat, staring at the screen as though it was about to burst into fireworks.

Then he turned his head and found Kurt staring at him. He bowed his head in shame, and then glanced up at Kurt through his eyelashes, making Kurt's heart flutter a little. "I should have told you... my inner fanboy shows whenever I'm exposed to anything Harry Potter related."

Kurt couldn't help but snicker. "Because your inner fanboy is _so_ well hidden otherwise? Remember, I saw your room. And the posters. And the Star Wars themed beddings with wookies on them. And the endless amounts of Katy Perry _everywhere_."

Blaine's honey colored eyes disappeared from view again as he ducked his head. "Oh god. You saw the beddings, did you? Damn."

Kurt smiled to himself. He actually had his own set of those exact beddings, but that wasn't something he was going to reveal.

"The most disturbing was the fact that you had – if I counted correctly – five posters of Daniel Radcliffe", he said instead.

Blaine's mouth fell open. "What's disturbing about that? He's gorgeous!"

"It's just so... common. I mean, honestly, the Phelps twins for example are far better looking."

"Are you joking me? Daniel Radcliffe is Harry Potter for gods sake!"  
"Oh come on, you can't honestly prefer Harry over the Weasley twins. They are the best thing about the entire series."  
"I- you- just _no_! I mean I love the twins, but god, Harry is- he's- I just-"

Blaine was too wound up to form a proper sentence. He was waving his hands frantically, trying to get his point across while Kurt just tried his best not to burst out laughing. His honey eyes – no, not honey; oh why couldn't he figure out their colour? - were shining as he went into another rant about the greatness of Daniel Radcliffe.

"-and he's so _talented-_"

Kurt took a handful of popcorn from the cone and popped them into his mouth one by one, just amusing himself by watching the little show that was Blaine explaining his love for Daniel Radcliffe.

"-and the _hair_-"

Wonder how Blaine managed to hide this part of him in school? Sure, everyone knew he was a geek and he was always sitting in the library, and he always took more notes than everyone else in class. But this was just full-out fanboying. For a moment Kurt was worried that Blaine's ranting would cause a lack of oxygen and make him faint. But then Blaine drew in another breath and plummeted on.

"-and have you even _seen_ his eyes, they're like _magic_-"

After a few minutes of this, Blaine was suddenly so breathless he just gave up and dived into the Diet Coke instead to rehydrate his throat.

"Sorry, I just get like this as soon as someone is willing to listen to me", he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's okay," Kurt said, smiling.

Blaine smiled back, sending a shiver down Kurt's spine.

Then the light suddenly dimmed out and darkness fell over them. Barely half the movie theater was filled, and the two rows in front of them were only occupied by two teenagers who were already busy making out, not paying attention to the screen at all.

Kurt snorted at the sight and took another handful of popcorn. Blaine reached for a handful himself at the exact same moment, and their hands accidentally brushed against each other. An electric shock went through Kurt's entire body. He had never experienced that before. It was like the air between them was charged with electricity, pulling them towards each other. Kurt froze completely, staring wide-eyed at Blaine who looked back, seeming concerned. "Something wrong?"

Kurt managed a weak cough to excuse hiding his face in the crook of his arm. "No, nothing."

They remained silent for the next few minutes as the commercials rolled by. Kurt suddenly realized just how stiff he was, as though his body was prepared to make a run for it if needed. But what could possibly happen?

_You could accidentally kiss him._

He gave an accidental yelp, clasping his hands to his mouth to stifle it but too late.  
Blaine jumped a little on the seat next to him, craning his neck to look at him.

"I- I- I swallowed the Diet Coke in the wrong pipe", he choked out.

Just as he said it he realized Blaine was holding the cup, and therefore his explanation was completely invalid.

Blaine, however, didn't question him but let it slide, turning back to the commercials. Kurt felt his whole face burn and was terribly thankful Blaine was tactful enough not to snicker.

Soon the room darkened even further, the curtains pulled away from the big screen completely and the intro started playing.

All thoughts of Blaine and weird chemistry in the dark was suddenly blown from his mind and all he could think about was Harry Potter and how this was the movie that ended his childhood and _oh god_ how would he be able to get through this without sobbing like a baby? It didn't matter how many times he'd seen it already. All the deaths and the angst still hit him as hard as the first time.

Ten minutes into the movie and he could already feel tears burning in his eyes. He was just a total wreck, wasn't he? He hoped with all his heart he would be strong enough not to go all the way

He glanced sideways to see how Blaine was holding up, only to find him staring intently at the screen, gripping the Diet Coke feverishly in his hands and mouthing along to every line on the screen. Kurt couldn't help but admire his complete dedication. He really knew every single word, his face reflecting the emotion of the actors'.

Blaine must have felt Kurt's eyes on him because his head snapped to look at him and their eyes met, both of them blushing.

Blaine leaned over to whisper in his ear, "It's really brave of you not to scream and run out on me. Most people would slap me and tell me to get my shit together. Rachel can't even stand to go out in public with me when I'm in my fanboy mode."

Kurt shivered at the way Blaine's voice was kind of raspy because he was whispering as to not disturb the rest of the audience. And oh how close he was... he could actually _smell_ him and _oh no this is bad_. He nodded shakily. He didn't say anything in reply, and soon Blaine leaned back to his side again.

A few minutes later, though, Kurt was the one leaning over the cone of popcorn propped up in between them so both could reach it, mumbling, "If I cry when Fred dies – and I will – I might sound like a dying whale and you have to force-feed me some Diet Coke or I'll choke on my own tears."

When he leaned back he could see Blaine grinning at him through the dark, his face momentarily lit up from a flash of light on the cinema screen. His eyes were glittering and there was something in them that Kurt couldn't quite name, and then darkness fell over the theater again and the opportunity to find out had passed.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Wow thank you for all the reviews and story alerts and stuff! It makes me really happy.**

**Anyways here's the next chapter! Though it's like 3.30 am here and I'm honestly just too tired to edit this much more, so I'll just put it up like this. Hope it'll be okay anyways.**

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_[Blaine's POV]_

If this wasn't the weirdest not-a-date he had ever experienced, he didn't know what was.

The way Kurt was smiling at him made his heartbeat pick up, and how they actually bickered about who would get to pay for what was just ridiculous.

In some of the more intense scenes Kurt had actually reached over and grabbed his hand. They had held hands, more than once in the short space of two hours. Kurt's hands were soft and smooth, yet firm and oh so warm. Blaine never wanted to let him go, but it seemed as soon as that thought crossed his mind, Kurt pulled his hand away to grab some popcorn.

And then a few minutes later, when the next really emotional scene started, he reached over again and Blaine was sure his heart would jump out of his chest because it was beating so hard. The Deathly Hallows really was one long sob story after all, so there was a _lot_ of hand holding.

But it wasn't a date, no, because Kurt had a boyfriend. The whole thing was fucking with Blaine's head, yet he wouldn't trade those few hours of his life for anything else.

And oh dear mother of Gaga, whenever Kurt commented on something in the movie – mostly along the lines of 'that part was so much better in the book' or 'how can J. K. Rowling live with herself knowing she killed him!' – he had to lean really close and his mouth was so close to Blaine's ear that Blaine was certain he'd die if he didn't turn to kiss Kurt's right on his pink, full lips. Because he was _so close. _And it was _so_ unbelievably- _no_.

He didn't trust himself to even think of it. Nothing good could come of it because Kurt was taken and _why_ did he have to fall for the most perfect guy on earth? Couldn't he have settled for someone more in his league? But, well, he didn't really _have_ a league. Kurt was at the very top, and then came the other cheerleaders, football players, etc.

Blaine was at the absolute bottom of the chain, creeping along just underneath the other glee kids. Neither of them never really stood a chance since their fondness for perfoming from the very beginning set them apart from the other kids and marked them as freaks. He should have never allowed himself to fall for the top cheerleader. Who in their right mind does that?

But it was hard not to be head-over-heels in love with him when they stood there outside the cinema in the cold, shivering next to each other and stealing secret glances of each other, both fooling themself that the other didn't notice.

He felt like one of them should say something, and though he had initially wanted to ask if Kurt wanted to get a cup of coffee or something, the nerves got the better of him and instead he stammered out, "So... um. Night then."

Kurt glanced up at him, poking around in the gravel with the tip of his shoe. "I guess."

They were silent for a few seconds, and then Kurt got his hands out of his pockets and straightened up, an unconvincing smile on his face. Blaine thought it looked too strained to be coming from him, but didn't say anything about it.

"I'll see you soon, then. To practise."

Blaine didn't have the strength to pull of a smile too, so he just settled for a half-hearted nod. "Yeah. Totally."

And with a quick and oh-so-fabulous wave of his hand that left Blaine swooning a little, Kurt turned around and headed across the street to the parking lot.

Blaine shoved his own hands into his pockets, mentally cursing himself for being such a coward, but mostly for being so desperately in love that watching Kurt's back as he walked away made his heart throb painfully. They had had such a lovely night, and he hated the thought that it was all over and that the next time he'd see Kurt would be in Sam's arms in school the next day.

Peering up into the beautiful night sky, he went to find his own car. No point in sticking around if Kurt weren't there with him. His mind was so fuzzy and hung up on Kurt and his hair and his _eyes_ and- well, let's just say his mind was quite occupied with other things, and the task of remembering where he parked his car seemed to take forever.

When he finally localized the black vehicle a row away, he hurried up his steps, wanting to get inside it and put on the heat as soon as possible. Just as he put the car keys into the ignition and started up the engine, his phone vibrated from receiving a text. He sighed and, after a lot of squirming around, he managed to coax it out of his pocket, unlock it and open the text.

**From: Kurt Hummel  
**Have you left yet? My car has broken down or something. Could I get a ride home?

Blaine's breath got caught in his throat, and he actually had to force out a dry cough and take slow easing breaths for a few moments to make sure he wasn't actually suffocating. Kurt needed a ride home. Kurt was going to sit next to him, in his car, for at least fifteen minutes. Why was this exciting him so much? They'd sat next to each other for hours in a dark movie theatre only minutes ago, yet the thought of Kurt being _in his car _made his heart race all over again. He really was a smitten ten-year-old, wasn't he?

**From: Blaine Anderson  
**Oh yeah, of course. I'll come pick you up where we said goodbye, okay?

With that he shoved the phone back into his pocket, backed out of the parking space and drove over to the entrance. He eventually saw Kurt coming walking from the other end of the parking lot, hands stuffed into his pockets, his eyes scanning the parking lot looking for Blaine.

Blaine pulled up by the curb right next to him and leaned over to open the passenger door.

Kurt stepped off the curb and smoothly slid onto the seat. The soft _click_ of his seatbelt popping into place was the only sound filling the air before Blaine started up the engine again. There was a car queue to the exit which meant Blaine couldn't distract himself with looking at the road, but had to focus on the way the atmosphere was really tense and weird.

"Sorry for the trouble", Kurt said suddenly, looking out on the car ahead of them, not meeting Blaine's eye.

"Oh, no, it's fine, really."

"It's just, I borrowed my dads car so he couldn't really pick me up and it's so far to walk and-"

"It's fine, I swear."

"Yeah? Okay."

Silence hung over them again as Blaine put his foot down slightly and got them slightly further up the line of waiting cars.

After a few minutes he decided he had had enough of silence and leaned over to put on the radio. It was his standard radio channel and it usually just played the most recent hit tracks – more often than not it was Katy Perry or Britney Spears, which he did not complain about – but now it obviously thought it'd be fun to play My Heart Will Go On with Celine Dion.

Because listening to the saddest song in history really eased up the tension. Or not.

"Sorry, I'll just change the-"

"No, leave it", Kurt all but whispered.

Blaine frowned a little, but didn't object and leaned back in his seat, nervously tapping the steering wheel. He rolled down the window and stuck his head out to see how far along the line was now.

"It'll be another ten minutes", he said half to himself, half to Kurt as he ducked into the car again.

Kurt didn't answer, and when Blaine looked over to repeat himself he caught a glimpse of Kurt's glittering eyes before the boy turned away and resolutely stared out of his window.

Blaine's jaw dropped.

"Are you- Kurt, are you crying?"

Kurt was silent for a while, and then came a strangled, "No."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. Of course, he wanted to just wrap his arms around Kurt and tell him everything was going to be okay and-

..._anyway_. He couldn't really do that. How did kind-of-friends comfort each other? What was okay to say and what was stepping over a line?

"I- uh-"

Wow. That was probably the worst consolation ever.

Kurt quickly wiped away a few tears that had dropped from his eyelashes onto his cheeks. Blaine licked his suddenly dry lips, more than anything wishing he could have kissed away that tear instead.

_No, no, no_, _that's inappropriate and creepy and dumb. Get yourself together, Anderson_, he mentally scolded himself.

"It's nothing, really", Kurt mumbled and looked down at his lap, fiddling awkwardly with the shoulder strap on his bag.

Blaine glanced carefully at him. "I'm a good listener, if you'd like to talk."

Kurt looked up quickly. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second before Kurt looked away.

"I'll buy you ice cream", Blaine blurted out.

Kurt frowned lightly as he turned back to look at him. "What?"

"I mean- whenever I'm feeling sad, ice cream helps clear things up... you know what, forget it, it's stupid, I-"

"Ice cream sounds good."

"Yeah I'll just drop you off at ho- what? R-really?"

Kurt nodded and shifted a little in his seat so he was facing Blaine more.

The cars ahead of them finally started to move more quickly and soon they were out of the parking lot.

"So, uh, where should we go?"

"Well there's this really nice place just down the street", Kurt suggested.

Blaine nodded and let Kurt direct him to it. They parked outside and side by side went into the little shop. It was really cute and comfy but, according to the big ice cream cone-shaped sign out front, they were closing in ten minutes.

The girl at the counter told them so as well, glancing rudely at the watch attached to the wall as the two boys looked over the different flavors trying to decide what to get.

Kurt reached for his wallet, but Blaine wouldn't have it. Instead he nudged Kurt out of the way, picked up his own wallet and ordered for them both. Kurt still seemed a little put out, so he didn't argue but stepped aside, gloomily fiddling with the hem of his jacket.

It was a little silly, their whole who-gets-to-play-game, and Blaine knew he really shouldn't be pushing it this far because _that's what couples do._ Bickering about who gets to pay for what. Almost-friends don't do that.

"Do you want one or two flavors? Or three?", he asked, turning to look at Kurt.

A smile tugged at the corner of Kurt's mouth. His eyes seemed to lose some of their previous sadness. "One is fine. Strawberry, thanks."

Blaine nodded and turned back to the girl. "One strawberry and one coconut. In two containers, please."

He was really in the mood for coconut right now. He had actually had an intense craving for it for days now. He was really excited about finally being able to satisfy that craving.

He paid for them and then handed Kurt his little plastic bowl of ice cream. As the front door swung closed behind another leaving customer, a wave of air brushed past Kurt and, a little too late, Blaine realized just why he had chosen coconut.

Kurt smelled faintly of coconut – Blaine figured it must be his schampoo – and oh god, he really hoped Kurt hadn't made that connection too.

He wasn't sure if Kurt was oblivious or if he was only acting as though he hadn't realized too, but he carried on as before, his face expressing nothing but a vague excitement as he took his first bite of the ice cream.

"Where do you want to sit?", he asked, looking around.

"Excuse me, we're closing now", interrupted the girl, looking grumpier by the minute. And then, muttering to herself, she added, "We actually closed five minutes ago."

"Oh, right. Sorry", Kurt said, blushing slightly.

Blaine was a little annoyed at how the girl was acting. She was really rude, giving them weird looks as they left the shop, the door bell chiming as the door swung closed after them.

Kurt took another bite of ice cream, a soft moan of satisfaction leaving him. "This is the best ice cream I've ever had, I swear."

Blaine took a taste of his own, nodding his agreement.

Kurt dug his little spoon into the ice cream and then, making Blaine's heart leap again, he held it up to Blaine's mouth as though urging him to try it.

Blaine did, not daring to take the spoon fully in his mouth but rather licked off the ice cream as quickly as he could with as little contact as possible between himself and the plastic spoon. It was a quite large bite, and he immediately felt the brainfreeze coming on as he swallowed it whole in his urgency to get away from the spoon that had been in Kurt's mouth.

_Clean thoughts, Blaine, clean thoughts._

"Can I taste yours?", Kurt asked, glancing at the bowl in his hand.

"Yeah, sure", Blaine breathed.

Kurt licked the strawberry off his own spoon and took a modest bite of Blaine's coconut ice cream.  
He was swirling his tongue around the spoon, looking deep in thought as though he was not trying ice cream but making a life changing decision. Finally, he made a humming noise, "Mm, it was delicious too, but nothing beats strawberries."

Blaine swallowed with some difficulty and tried not to get to hung up on the whole thing.

Was Kurt really that oblivious to the effect he had on Blaine? It seemed impossible.

They began strolling down the street, in the opposite direction of where they had parked Blaine's car, silently munching their ice creams.

Out of the blue Kurt reached out to grab Blaine's arm. He tugged lightly on him to make him follow. "Let's go this way, the view down by the river is amazing."

His fingers lingered longer than neccessary before they slid away and went back to digging out small chunks of strawberry ice cream from the plastic bowl.

A small grin crept onto Blaine's face. "Yeah, sure, I-"

Before he got any further, A Whole New World from Aladdin began playing in Blaine's pocket.

"Oh crap", he muttered, blushing. Did the universe get a kick out of exposing all of his super nerdy habits? Why didn't he think of changing his ring tune?

To humiliate him further, it seemed as though his pocket had sewn itself shut because it was close to impossible to wiggle his phone out with one hand. He handed Kurt his ice cream so he had both hands free. Once the phone was out and he had put the phone to his ear, he immediately pulled it away and held it at an arms length.

"_Why are you not home yet? I can't believe you! I told you specifically to be home by now but you're just too important for that aren't you? Oh my god, you're still out with Kurt aren't you, didn't I tell you to leave him alone, Blaine I swear to god if you don't get your ass back here in ten minutes I'm going to-_"

"Rach, calm down!", he yelled back. loud enough for her to hear him despite the distance between him and the phone. He was pretty sure his eardrums had been shattered by his sister's screaming.

He could still hear her continued screaming so he kept the phone at a safe distance. Once she stopped to catch her breath, he put the phone to his ear again, though he remained ready to pull it away if she started yelling again.

"Rachel, god, I'll be home in a while, okay?"

"_You can't just abandon me with these kids, Blaine! I'm terrible with them, they just won't stop crying, you have to come help me or help me god I-"_

"Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm on my way. Just put them by the TV and put on Disney Channel, that'll calm them down."

"_Don't you think I tried that? Do you think I'm that stupid?_"

"Rachel, calm down, I'll be home soon okay? I have to drop off Kurt first because-"

"_Are you two hooking up? Blaine, he has a boyfrie-_"

"No we are _not_. His car broke down so I'm being helpful, okay? Just- just give the kids something to eat and they'll be fine until I get there. Try reading to them or something."

"_And if you're not here in an hour I'll call dad and you'll get in so much trouble you won't get out of the house for months!_"

Rachel really had a talent for overreacting.

"I'll be there as soon as possible, I swear. Okay see you soon, bye."

Before she could continue ranting, he ended the phone call and pocketed his phone again.

He hadn't been aware of just how loud the conversation had been, but by the horrified look on Kurt's face he guessed it must have been above ordinary.

"Do you two always interact like that?", he asked curiously.

"No. Or, well, she kind of does. She screams a lot", Blaine said, rubbing his arm awkwardly. "We're supposed to be watching the neighbours' kids tonight and I asked her if she could do it singlehanded until midnight so I could come here. And, well, I'm obviously late."

"Oh god, I'm sorry I've held you here for so long then", Kurt said.

"No, it's fine", Blaine assured him. "But we really need to go now, because facing Rachel's wrath is really nothing I want to postpone too long or it'll just get worse."

"She really has a lot of anger built up for such a small girl", Kurt joked as they turned around and headed towards the car again.

"It's a family thing", Blaine muttered.

"Really? You don't seem like the angry type."

Blaine shrugged lazily. "I have my moments."

They walked side by side in silence the rest of the way. The drive over to Kurt's house was just as silent, at least talking wise. Blaine put on the radio again, and they both contentedly sang along to the most recent top hits. Blaine was a little thrown off at first because Kurt honestly sounded like an angel, but he got himself together enough to not stare too much. It would have been awkward if he had driven off the road and crashed into a tree or something.

As they stopped outside of Kurt's house, Blaine could literally feel his heart dropping. He wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. It had been such a wonderful night.

Kurt unbuckled his seatbelt and had just opened the door and stepped out of the car halfway, but then he just... stopped.

He turned back and pulled his legs inside the car again so that he could turn around properly to look at Blaine.

"I- thank you for tonight. I had fun", he said carefully, his angelic voice wavering slightly.

Blaine licked his lips before he could help himself, and another thing he couldn't help but notice was the way Kurt's eyes darted down to Blaine's lips before he looked back into his eyes. Kurt's own lips parted slightly and Blaine was once again certain he'd actually die from the lack of physical contact between the two of them. The air seemed to vibrate with electricity.

"Yeah, uh, w-well. I had fun too."

Blaine was all too aware how pathetic his voice made him sound. He was actually _stuttering_.

There was a moment of strained silence, and then Kurt leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Blaine's cheek before sliding out of the car and closing the door before Blaine could even let out the breath he had been holding.

As Kurt quickly made his way to the front door of his house and slipped inside, Blaine's finger went up to his cheek where Kurt's lips had been only seconds ago.

_Oh fuck._


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Okay so I'm so sorry about this (though not really) but I'm mentioning the movie Velvet Goldmine again because it's my favorite and it's AMAZING, so those of you who haven't seen it - you should. Not that it really matters to this story but because it's supermegafoxyawesomehot and therefore worth watching.**

**The only reference in the chapter is to Brian Slade's clothes in a particular scene but if anyone's curious you can just google the scene and there should be plenty of pictures of the clothes.**

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_[Kurt's POV]_

"So... basically, you broke Burt's car?"

"I didn't _break_ it, it just wouldn't start up. It's no big deal, he'll fix it in no time."

Finn snorted and continued his raviging of tomatoes.

"Let me do that instead", Kurt sighed and went to take the knife from his step brother. He was mildly surprised Finn had agreed to have salad for lunch since he usually didn't agree to anything that didn't involve meat. "You'll just end up cutting off your fingers and pour blood all over the kitchen."

Finn slumped into one of the kitchen chairs, his head flopping down onto the hard wooden table. He groaned at the sudden pain in his head. As if he believed face palming a table wouldn't hurt.

"I'm a mess, Kurt."

Kurt looked over at him, suddenly feeling concerned. Finn was usually so bubbly and, well, he often came off a little thick, but he wasn't usually sad. He really seemed troubled.

"What's wrong, dude?", Kurt asked, pouring the sliced tomatoes into a bowl and continuing with chopping up salad.

"Did you just say dude?", Finn asked, wondering whether he should laugh or not. "Who are you and what have you done to Kurt?"

"I was trying to be supportive in a way you'd understand", Kurt snapped, turning back to his cutting board.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry", Finn muttered, fiddling with the table cloth. "It's... well, it's Quinn. She's acting out."

"Well, she's a girl. Girls do that", Kurt said simply.

"Wow, thanks man, that's really helpful."

Kurt rolled his eyes at the cupboard in front of him. He wasn't sure upsetting Finn further was the smartest thing to do, yet he couldn't help himself.

"Sorry, Finn. I'm a little troubled myself", he said, swiftly turning around with a small smile before returning to making the salad.

"You are? Trouble in gay paradise?"

"Why do you have to put 'gay' in front of everything? Like that's what's important."

He could almost hear Finn's mouth open and close in confusion behind his back.

"Well, no, but you _are_ gay. I just-"

Kurt sighed and tried to resist the urge to face palm the counter he was working on. "Yes, Finn, there's trouble in gay paradise."

"Anything I can do?", Finn asked.

Much could be said about Finn Hudson, but he sure was the best brother Kurt could have asked for. Yes, he was kind of dumb at occasions, he had been kind of awkward with the whole 'my step brother is gay'-thing at first and he had no taste in clothes what so ever, but those were all things Kurt could help him with. And nowadays he was really supportive and amazing towards Kurt, and he _always _had his back. He knew Finn wasn't trying to insult him or anything. He just wanted to help.

"No, Finn, but thank you. Anyways, how is Quinn acting out?"

"Oh, well, she's crazy jealous about me spending time with Rachel. But, you know, we're partnered for Glee so I don't really have a choice, do I?", Finn burst out.

"No, I guess not", Kurt said. "But you can help _how_ you spend time with her. You're not buying her dinner or stuff, I hope? As long as you just see each other somewhere neutral to prepare your songs, Quinn really has no reason to be jealous."

"Well, we met at the Lima Bean for coffee and... I _think_ we just discussed songs, but I'm not really sure."

"How can you not be sure?"

"You know how she is, she just goes on and on and I just don't pay that much attention after a while", Finn mumbled guiltily.

He was right, of course. Rachel was high maintanance, whether you were her boyfriend or just a friend.

"Just tell her she has to trust you", Kurt adviced him. Then, adopting a sterner tone, said, "Because you aren't cheating on her, are you?"

"No! Of course not! I would never."

"Well-"

"I wouldn't _anymore_. God, Kurt."

Kurt just rolled his eyes and poured the chopped up vegetables into the salad bowl and went to put it on the table.

"You go get dad and Carole and I'll set the table", Kurt said and went to the cupboards to get plates and glasses.

Finn remained seated, lazily rubbing his cheek against the table cloth.

Kurt stepped back to him and yanked the chair away from under him. Finn fell to the floor with a noise that sounded like something in between a wounded animal and a gun shot.

Instead of taking the hint and actually going up to do something productive, he just crawled under the table and laid down like a dog with his arms wrapped around himself. He was way too tall to fit though, and almost his entire legs were exposed. Kurt nudged his leg with enough force to hopefully make Finn get himself together and get up. Instead he only rolled himself together even more so that he – though it was really a close call – fit under the table.

He was still a easy target if Kurt would want to kick or tickle him, but he figured the guy needed a break. Finn wasn't usually this sulky, so maybe it was best to let him be. Kurt went to call Carole down for lunch, but just as he was about to he realized neither she nor Burt were home yet. His dad was in the shop working, despite it being a Sunday, and Carole was out shopping for dinner groceries.

He returned to the kitchen and set the table, though he didn't see the point if Finn was going to lie under the table all day.

He bent down and gazed at Finn, who was really looking like an overgrown five-year-old with that sulky face.

"I'll leave your share up here, okay?", he said as though actually talking to a five-year-old. He waited for Finn to give a quick nod, and then he took his own plate and went to eat his lunch by the TV. Judging by the sound of chairs getting knocked over, he guessed Finn had gotten up to eat too.

He flicked the TV on and automatically landed on some lame romantic comedy that was already halfway through. He didn't care too much since he only wanted some sound in the background as he ate. Soon Finn tried to silently creep into the room and, being who he was, he of course tripped over the carpet and fell face first to the floor. Unfortunately he had brought his lunch and it, along with the plate, got caught in between his body and the floor.

"Finn!", Kurt whined and abandoned his own food to go help him up. Once Finn's body was lifted off the ground, it was clear the plate had been absolutely shattered and the salad was spread out across the floor.

"Sorry", Finn mumbled, gazing around at the damage he had done.

"Go get a shovel from the cleaning cupboard", Kurt gruffed.

"Where is-"

"Oh Finn, honestly, what has Quinn done to you? You're not usually this slow", Kurt snapped and pushed past him to get the things himself.

When he got back, Finn was trying to clean up the mess himself. He was trying to pick up all the small sherds of plate, but it just made him angry because as he put a piece in his palm, another one would fall out. Even though his methods were poor and clearly the result of lack of experience, it still warmed Kurt's heart that he tried.

A little gentler, he said, "Go make yourself more lunch and I'll clean this up, okay? You owe me one, though."

Finn offered a weak smile before he, shoulders slouched so that his posture was even worse than usual, went back into the kitchen as Kurt quickly cleaned up his mess.

It was like having a much younger brother that he was baby sitting.

Once he was done with it all, the food put in the garbage can and the sharp pieces of plate securely put in an empty milk carton wrapped with tape for later disposal, he went back to his own lunch. The sappy movie had ended, fortunately, and was replaced by the local news. Kurt paid no attention to it, however, but just ate his food as quickly as possible since he was absolutely starving. Finn soon joined him again, stepping much more careful this time because he was not in the mood to make his stupid food for the third time and Kurt definitely wouldn't help him clean it up again. He sat down in the arm chair next to the couch Kurt was seated on, and then they both ate in silence.

"Big hurricane thingy coming to Ohio, huh?", Finn asked awkwardly after a while.

"That's a movie commercial, Finn. The news ended ten minutes ago."

"Oh. Right."

They fell quiet again, the silence only broken by the soft _clink _of plate against glass as Kurt put his plate down on the coffee table.

"Kurt, you- I mean, I- or, you know, uh-"

"Finn, if something is bothering you, just tell me", Kurt said gently. He could tell something was really wrong, because Finn wasn't usually this fidgety. He kept shifting around in his chair and his eyes kept darting around, never staying in the same place more than a few seconds.

"I think Quinn is cheating on me", Finn choked out.

His eyes were wide and Kurt could swear he was tearing up. Wow. Finn never cried, at least not in front of people.

Kurt quickly scooted as close to him as he could so he could put a hand on Finn's knee.

"Why do you think that? I'm sure she wouldn't-"

"Why not? She's already cheated on me once! Why wouldn't she do it again?"

Kurt opened his mouth to say something but he really couldn't think of anything.

Both Finn and Quinn had cheated on people in their past and, though they were really cute together, they weren't exactly one of those couples who everyone just _knew_ would be together forever.

Maybe Quinn actually had cheated on him. Lord knows how many she's cheated on. But who was the guy this time? Someone in Glee club? No, that's not very likely. Probably some jock.

Or... oh _god_, not Puck again. _Please don't let it be Puck_.

Last time Puck and Quinn were together it ended in pregnancy and, since she had been together with Finn at the time, a very nasty break up between the two of them, including bitterness between all three parts. Finn and Puck barely spoke for months afterwards.

However selfish it may seem, Kurt couldn't handle all that drama all over again.

"But why are you suspicious in the first place? I thought she was afraid _you_ were cheating. She wouldn't go cheat on you then, would she?", he said instead, squeezing Finn's knee a little.

Had it been a year ago, Finn would have flinched away and told him to back off. Now, however, they were brothers – well, step brothers, but they might as well been born that way considering how close they were now – and he was used to Kurt and they had hugged multiple times.

"Well, I don't know. She's mad at me for, you know, Rachel and stuff. And then last night I was talking to her on the phone and she... well, we were just talking about normal stuff and then she suddenly got all weird and said she had to go and I- I could have _sworn_ I heard a guy's voice in the background. And she doesn't have a brother and it was totally not her dad, you know, so I just..."

"Well, it does sound a little suspicious, but don't go yell at her all for this, okay? Have a calm, mature conversation about it all and tell her you're worried. Whatever you do, _don't_ make it sound like you're accusing her because then she'll just storm out and you'll have a pissed Quinn to deal with and, well, you know better than me how she can get", Kurt said. He removed his hand from Finn's knee and reached over to take a sip of water from the glass he had put on the table.

"How do I ask her without accusing her?", Finn asked, looking confused.

They spent about thirty minutes like that. After a while Finn got too frustrated and stormed off, although he returned minutes later with a quick "thanks for the help, dude" before he scurried away again, clearly embarrassed. Finn didn't usually voice his feelings so that simple thank you meant a lot more to Kurt than it would have if it come from someone else.

Sighing, he got both their piles of dishes and went to put it all in the dishwasher. Once he was all done with cleaning up the kitchen, he picked up his phone to check the time but instead noticed he had a new text.

He pressed open, his heart leaping a little. When he saw the name _Sam Evans_ light up the screen, his heart dropped. Well, that was weird. He should be happy to hear from his boyfriend, especially since they hadn't spoken for a while.

**From: Sam Evans  
**Hey babe, wanna go to Breadstix tonight? I wanna talk to u, can i pick u up at 7?

**From: Kurt Hummel  
**Of course! x

He usually didn't put x's in texts because he thought it was a little weird, but he was feeling guilty about the whole thing with Blaine the night before.

How could he go advice Finn about doing innocent things with Rachel when Kurt himself went on a date with the guy he was partnering in Glee? They were in the exact same situation. Why didn't he ever follow his own advice?

Because, honestly, it _was_ a date. At least in every aspect of the word except there was no kissing and no flirting. Okay, well, that wasn't true either. There had been lots of flirting – although in very little scale and, in Kurt's opinion, completely harmless – and then there was that goodbye kiss on the cheek. That had been really dumb. It wasn't _intentionally _a date, but well, it sure seemed like one. Only thing defining the night as a not-date was the fact that _Kurt had a boyfriend_ and wasn't supposed to be on a date with someone else.

It suddenly struck him that Sam hadn't put an x in his text, and he always did otherwise. Oh god, something was wrong. Something terrible must have happened.

"Calm down, stupid, he probably just forgot", he muttered to himself, walking back into the livingroom and plopping himself down on the couch again.

It was probably one of his worst charachteristics, the way he constantly beat himself up over the littlest things and somehow managed to convince himself that everything wrong in the world could be traced back to himself. Sam was crazy about him, he knew that. There was nothing to worry about.

A good thing about him though, personality wise, was the way he could almost completely supress an unwanted feeling to the extent he was barely aware of it. It wasn't always that healthy, and it didn't last too long before his mind slipped back to panic-mode, but sometimes he just needed that hour of peace from his troubles. Only problem was once his mind gave up the struggle and his worries hit him again, they hit him three times as hard as before.

The only thing he could not force from his mind was, unconveniently enough, Blaine and the way his skin had felt against his lips. It was so _wrong_, but that single mouth-to-cheek peck had excited him more than a hundred kisses with Sam ever had.

Did that count as cheating?

No, it couldn't.

...Could it?

It was just a peck on the cheek, a friendly gesture at the end of a fun night out. Right?

Moving around a little so he was lying on his stomach, he nuzzled into the closest pillow, lazily twisting his head a little so he could still see the TV.

They were currently showing Velvet Goldmine. It had only just begun, and Kurt couldn't help but smile as Brian Molko and the other actors ran through the streets, Brian with his fabulous feather boa.

But then his mind drifted back to Blaine's bedroom and the fact that he too had the soundtrack to Velvet Goldmine. Wonder if he loved it as much as Kurt did? And from there his mind shamelessly went on with Blaine as the main theme.

Before he knew it The Ballad of Maxwell Demon-scene had begun and Kurt found himself wondering what Blaine would look like as a 90's glam boy. His skin would go _perfectly_ with that outfit Brian Slade wore in the The Ballad of Maxwell-scene; the scarf, the vest, the rainbow patterned coat – all in gorgeous silk material.

He might even be able to pull off those delicious purple high heeled boots.

He made a mental note to pick out some outfits to try out this new "Blaine in 90's glam"-idea, but then his sensible side caught up with him and reminded him that _no_, he would not be doing make-overs to Blaine anytime soon. Not anytime at _all_, really.

But his mind obviously wasn't done with it all, and suddenly the image of Blaine in those purple silk pants from The Ballad of Maxwell that were _ridiculously_ tight popped into his head and-

No. He had to stop his mind from drifting off into dangerous territories, and Blaine in those pants _definitely _filed into that category.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Okay so this was the hardest chapter to write so far. It took ages and it was just impossible to get right, and I'm still not sure I got it right but I think it's the best I can do right now. I got so frustrated with it I wrote two random oneshots with completely differents plots ****instead of working on this chapter just to get rid of the stupid writers block**, and in the process I lost track of what I was planning for this story and it all blurred together and yeah. It's weird but I hope it will all work out in the end.

**Also: sorry for the really late update!**

* * *

_[Blaine's POV]_

"Tina, oh thank god you answered. We need to talk. I think I've done something bad."

"What? I'm gone for one weekend and you manage to screw things up? I'll talk to you at school tomorrow, okay? I'm still at Mike's."

"Yeah. Okay. Before first period though because I'm in serious trouble."

"Wow, you really messed up, didn't you?"

"You don't have to sound happy about it."

"I'm not! It's just- is it... _you know_?"

"Yes. It's Kurt. Oh _god_ I-"

"No, don't say anything! If you tell me now I'll just freak out too and I don't want Mike's mom to have more reaons to hate me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"Well, she kind of does. I might have accidentally let a racoon into their cabin on the first night and it kind of ate all the food. Kind of."

"Oh. My. God."

"Hey! You're the one in trouble, don't go messing with me if you want my help."

"Sorry. Go back to Mike and the racoon then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ha ha. Very funny. Bye, Blaine."

"Bye Tina."

* * *

Blaine arrived earlier than usual to school Monday morning. He had texted Tina asking her to meet him at 7:30 even though their first class only begun at 8:10. He had so many thoughts going through his head, he needed to blurt them out to someone and the only ones aware of his problems were his mother and Tina. He had considered talking to his mother but somehow he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Explaining that he was in fact gay and that he actually liked a boy had been hard enough – even though she had made it as easy as she could – and he wasn't ready to dwell on it anymore with her. So he opted for Tina instead.

It was soon 7:40 and Tina had still not showed up. People were starting to crowd the hallways and Blaine absolutely hated the hallways when they were full of students, especially when he couldn't get away from them. He was perched on top of a wooden bench right next to the row of lockers where Tina had hers. In his lap he had a small tower of books; the ones he would be needing for the first and second period classes, a pad of paper which he used for the notes he took in class and his free time reading book.

He had considered flicking it open to read while he waited for Tina, but he didn't dare since it would leave him vulnerable to slushie facials and people grabbing his things and tossing it into the trash. With his eyes focused on the book, he wouldn't be alert enough to escape in case one of the jocks decided to cram in a little tease-the-dork-fun before first period.

It had happened before, and since long he had made a habit out of not reading in the hallways unless he had a friend nearby to warn him in case trouble emerged.

It was boring and nervwracking though, waiting for Tina without any distractions. He had his legs crossed, the right leg over the left one as usual, with his books propped in between his stomach and right thigh. He kept tapping his foot in the air to a tune in his head as he stared down at his feet, resolutely not meeting anyones eye.

The blow came out of no where.

One second he was sitting there, silently wondering whether he should just go to class and discuss his problems with Tina during lunch instead, and the next a very solid fist collided with his jaw and he was sent tumbling to the floor. The floor was dusty and messy, a combination not very well suited for his gelled down hair. If the fall hadn't already knocked the wind out of him, the realization that he would have to cross a crowded hallway with messed up hair and half the school watching would have done the trick. He would rather die than have anyone see him without his gel.

His books fell out of his lap and one of them hit him square in the ribs. Though it really hurt – both his ribs and his quickly bruising jaw – he made sure not to make a sound. It would only provoke the assaulter.

But even though he kept quiet, only barely resisting the urge to throw up with his head spinning as it had taken the full hit when he was knocked over, it was only seconds later when someone grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him up against the wall.

"What have you done to him?", a male voice growled loudly.

Blaine had his eyes firmly shut and he only just recognized the voice. _Oh no._

He would be dead within seconds.

A firm elbow was pressing against his throat and he couldn't swallow, let alone breathe.

"Answer me", Sam hissed, his elbow pressing harder.

Blaine accidentally opened his eyes, only barely suppressing a gasp as he did so.

He felt sick to his stomach, his heart was pounding in his ears and Sam's cold eyes were boring into his _soul_ and it felt like he could read Blaine's mind.

"I d-didn't do anything!", he choked out, struggling to even breathe, let alone speak.

"I've seen you look at him and if you even _breathe_ the same _air_ as him again, I swear to god-"

He couldn't think of another moment when he had been this scared. Sam's eyes told him everything he needed to know: he was pissed, he was strong and he was going to hurt Blaine until he couldn't stand upright.

He really was _outraged_, and Blaine had seen him work out in gym class and he sure had the capacity to cause real harm. Now he had the motive, too.

Maybe Kurt told him about the not-a-date. Had he mentioned how Blaine insisted on paying for tickets and Kurt paid the snacks, almost as a routined dating couple? Had he even told his boyfriend about the goodbye kiss on the cheek?

An absurd thought crossed his mind and it was almost as if the pain in his heart outweighed the physical pain of being strangled against a wall.

Had Kurt even asked Sam to beat up Blaine? As a not-so-subtle sign that he should leave him alone?

He was a Cheerio, after all. That's how they operated.

But he had always thought Kurt to be different than the other Cheerios, that he rose above all that... but what did he know?

He was nobody, invisible to everyone except when the jocks needed someone to kick around. Who was he to have opinions on the head cheerleader and his ways? It was none of his business, yet it was all he could think about all day long.

Just as the oxygen shortage almost became too much and he was on the verge of passing out, the weight on him disappeared and the pressure on his throat lightened as well. He dragged in a ragged breath, desperate for air, but ended up doubling over in a cough fit.

He dimly heard a number of voices shouting around him but he couldn't make out the words. He wasn't sure how he got there, but next thing he knew he was sitting in a chair. Someone was forcing water down his throat, trying to tilt his chin up so he could swallow it.

He coughed on it and tried to squirm away.

He realized he still had his eyes squeezed shut and forced them open. After blinking a few times, he registered he was in Mrs Pillsbury's office. She wasn't there though, but Tina was. She was looking anxiously at him, awkwardly petting his hair.

He sat up straighter, finally catching his breath properly. It had really been knocked out of him.

"What was that all about?", she asked carefully, still petting his hair.

He flinched away, and she lowered her hands and clasped them in her lap. She was sitting on a chair next to him, eyeing him nervously as though he'd lose conciousness any second.

"I- I messed up", he mumbled hoarsely. "With Kurt."

Her eyes widened. "Did you- did you kiss him?"

Blaine shook his head quickly. "No, nothing like that. Or, well- he kissed my cheek. It wasn't a big deal, it was just a friendly gesture. Only that it wasn't. It- it felt _right_, and it was amazing, and it was just on the cheek but it was so- so-"

She glanced at the closed door and shuffled closer to him. "Does Sam know? Is that why he did that just now?"

Blaine shrugged, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "I don't know. Maybe. If Kurt told him. He wasn't there though, so-"

"It was really scary, watching him do that. He's _really_ strong", she mumbled.

"Well, yeah, I know. I was on the receiving end of it."

"Right", she said, clearly embarrassed. But then her eyes narrowed and she sounded much more serious. "Blaine, you should report him or something. He was basically strangling you."

He shrugged again, not really meeting her eye. "Well, I _basically_ went on a date with his boyfriend, so I guess we're even."

"But he physically hurt you, that's-"

"Should we get to class? We'll be late", he interrupted her, standing up in one swift movement. He almost doubled over with the pain in his ribs in addition to the thunderlike pain in his head, but he remained standing and even forced a smile. She wasn't fooled at all.

"You're clearly in pain, you don't have to go to class", she insisted.

But he wouldn't listen. He went past her and stubbornly refused to acknowledge the throbbing pain in his head, ribs and- well, everywhere. Tina soon followed him, her arms full of his books and his bag swinging off her arm.

When she caught up with him, he took his things off her hands and forced himself to act normal.

"So", he began slowly. His voice was teasing, but still holding some of the previous tension. "How was you weekend?"

She stared at him as they walked, as though contemplating whether to go on with his act or demand a serious talk. She went with the first option.

"Well, we didn't run into any bears, but then there was that whole racoon drama and then I spent the rest of the weekend hiding from Mike's parents", she told him, rolling her eyes as she spoke. "He thinks I'm being ridiculous, but I _know _his mother doesn't like me."

"I'm sure she loves you, you're awesome", Blaine said, winking at her.

"She heard me complaining about how I hate it when he drags her along to dinner all the time", she said miserably.

He whistled quietly. "That's not good."

She nodded, lowering her head in defeat. "I know. Told you she doesn't like me."

"You can turn that around", he said, smiling at her.

She just shrugged lazily. Then her eyes narrowed slightly, and he gulped in apprehension.

"Now that we've talked about my weekend, how about yours?", she asked.

He gripped the shoulder strap of his bag tightly, staring down at the floor as they walked.

"Well, um, it was uneventful."

"Really? Uneventful is the word you're going with here?", she questioned, eyebrows raised.

"Okay, okay", he said, putting his hands up. "I'll tell you. But don't tell anyone else, okay?"

She nodded, pleased to finally get through to him.

He pulled her along to the corner where he and Mercedes had spoken days ago, and glanced around to make sure they were alone.

"You already know we went to the cinema Friday night", he began, as quietly as he could. She nodded in confirmation, her eyes shining with interest.

"Well, everything was going great and then his car broke down so I drove him home. And when he was about to get out of the car, he turned back and it was really awkward at first and then he kissed my cheek. It only lasted for a second or so but it-", he heaved a sigh, shaking his head, "it was amazing. _He_ is amazing. And we really clicked, you know, and he's a nerd too, like in-the-closet-nerd, so he wasn't even annoyed by all my weirdness, and- oh god. I just have all these _feelings_ and I can't even look at him without feeling like I'm about to explode and he's dating Sam freaking Evans and I don't get it because he's worth so much more and-"

She silenced him abruptly as a bunch of senior boys strolled past them, laughing and joking amongst themselves. Blaine held his breath as he waited for them to pass. Once they were out of earshot, he let it out again.

"I just feel so confused."

She smiled sadly. "I know. But you never know, maybe he likes you too. He-"

"He doesn't", he cut off. "He loves Sam. End of story. I should just realize that, right? And go on with my stupid life."

"Well, he seems a little conflicted, so maybe you have a chance."

"I know you're trying to be nice and make me feel better, but come on. People like me don't end up with people like him. He's a _Cheerio_."

"You're awesome, too."

"I spend my weekends either reading, doing homework or having movie marathons with myself, whereas Sam takes him clubbing and buys him cool drinks and they hang out with all the cool kids and do cool kid stuff. In what universe would Kurt go for the nerdy stay-at-home-and-watch-Disney guy when he could get the cool guy with the leather jackets who boosts his popularity at school ___and _is super hot?"

"He isn't ___that _hot. And from what I've heard, Kurt and him don't even go out that much. Kurt usually stays at home and Sam goes out with his guy friends. And, you know, almost every person who gets famous and rich has been that nerdy, bullied kid in school once. So, you know, in the future Kurt might come begging for your attention instead of the other way around."

"Yeah, well, I don't see how that helps my heartache right now", he muttered. "Besides, no matter how rich or famous I might become, though the odds for that are astronomical as well, Kurt Hummel doesn't beg for _anyone_. He is the kind of person people beg _to_. It's just the way of things, and there's no changing it."

"I guess not. But honey, honestly, you're not seeing yourself very brightly. You're better than you think you are, and I'm sure Kurt knows that too."

He just shook his head, eyes downcast and not meeting hers. "He wouldn't know I existed if it weren't for Glee. I'm nothing to him."

Instead of babying him, she took a different approach. She grabbed his arm – rather roughly actually – and dragged him back into the hallway.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. He _does_ see you. Honestly, with the way you're always staring at him and he's always staring at you, you would think you'd catch each other staring once in a while."

Blaine immediately went bright red. "He doesn't _stare. _And neither do I!"

Tina raised an eyebrow. "Really? So, last week, I didn't almost knock you off your chair to keep you from staring at him because the teacher was getting suspicious?"

Blaine managed a weak "no".

"Okay. Just checking", she said, rolling her eyes.

"The only reason he would be looking at me is because he's wondering how to get rid of me the fastest", Blaine muttered.

"Why don't you just wake up and smell the sexual tension between you two?"

They both jumped several feet in the air at the voice behind them.

Blaine was the one to spin around first, only to find himself face to face with Santana. She was giving him his best bitch smirk, and he felt his knees almost give up on him.

"I- I- w-what?"

She smiled again, somehow incorporating even more mischief into her eyes.

"Oh please, it's clear to everyone that you have the gays for him."

"I-I'm not-"

"Not gay?", she asked, clearly amused. "I have a killer gaydar and it's beeping all over the place whenever your hobbit sized face is around."

"But-"

She rolled her eyes, giving him another bitch glare. "Skip it, hobbit."

"Why are you even here, Santana?", Tina snapped, grabbing Blaine's arm and slipping her own under his.

Santana glared back at her and even though no one ever stood a chance against her bitch glares, Tina did a really good job and lasted several seconds before she had to look away.

"I couldn't help but hear what you two lovebirds were talking about-"

"I'm with Mike."

"We're not together."

"-and I just thought you'd like to know that I totally saw little Sparkle Boy Deluxe checking you out the other day."

Brittany suddenly popped up next to them and, looping her arm under Santana's, she added, "I saw it too. It looked like my unicorn wanted to make unicorn babies with you."

Before anyone could stop her, a giant smile broke out on her super pretty face, and she turned to Santana, saying, "Ohh, if they had babies, do you think they would be dolphins too? Or maybe bicorns? Ohhh-"

Santana smiled at her, the attitude suddenly drained from her face and replaced with a soft fondness. "I'm sure they'd have little rainbow babies topped with sparkles."

Then, turning back to Tina and Blaine, she smirked as she noted the tomato red blush spreading all the way from Blaine's hair roots to his face.

"You're lying", he said weakly.

"Nuh-uh. I totally heard him call you hot, too", Santana said, giving him a suggestive wink. "And honestly, you could cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife. It's_ so_ obvious, the way you're always staring at each other and _drooling_. You might want to stop having wet dreams about each other in class before _everyone_ sees it."

"_I don't-_", Blaine shrieked.

"-anyways, you better be careful, lover boy, before Trouty Mouth McFoxy Pants catches up with your little love affair and makes you pay for it."

Apparently the whole choke drama hadn't been part of the morning gossip among the Cheerios, which Blaine was very thankful for.

With a final wink, Santana gave Brittany's cheek a quick peck before the two of them continued down the hall, giggling between themselves.

It felt as though Blaine's face was actually burning. He turned to Tina for support. "You don't think any of that's true, do you?"

She shrugged, eying him carefully. "Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. He _has_ been watching you a lot and this one time I was sure he was undressing you with his eyes."

"_What?_", Blaine squeaked, mentally scolding himself for being such a fanboy.

She shook with silent laughter at the hilarious noises coming out of him, and it wasn't until he slapped her arm that she composed herself.

"Sorry, but really, it _does_ seem like he has a crush on you. Wouldn't be the first one, either."

He snorted. "A c_rush_? On me? You're joking."

"Actually-"

But that's when the bell rang, signalling the beginning of next period, and they both had to run to their next classroom.

_Saved by the bell_, he thought bitterly as they entered their Science classroom. But as he went out an hour later, he caught a glimpse of Kurt rushing by him in the crowded hallway obviously looking for someone, and their eyes met and Blaine could have sworn he could see a smile tugging at Kurt's mouth before he turned away and Blaine was left staring at a piece of wall. When Tina caught him staring at Kurt's quickly disappearing neck, she didn't say anything. She did, however, give him a meaningful look before turning to talk to Mike, who for the record still treated Blaine as if he was cheating with his girlfriend.

_If he only knew how much I wish I could be in love with Tina instead,_ he thought to himself. _We would have a bigger chance than me and Kurt are ever going to have._


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Okay so this chapter will be split into two parts, so the next part will be from Kurt's POV, too.**

**The Klaine dialogue at the end is probably too rushed and not that great, but ****as I hope everyone knows, THE BOX SCENE WAS RELEASED YESTERDAY, meaning I'm a sobbing wreck of a fangirl and not really fit to write anything at all. If you haven't seen the box scene - DO IT. It is perfection and my Klaine feels are exploding all over the place. THERE ARE KLAINBOWS AND UNICORNS EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE!**

**EHUM. Okay. Sorry for being weird. It's just... Klaine...**

**Anyway, an actual note about the chapter: there will be more drama in the next one. Yay for that!**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

At six thirty Sunday night, Kurt had just finished getting ready for his Breadstix date with Sam. Unfortunately, that's when Finn thought it appropriate to ask if he had finished the homework assignment set for their first period Monday morning. Of course, Kurt had forgotten all about that dumb assignment. He foolishly believed he could finish it within the twenty minutes it would take Sam to drive over to his house to pick him up, but when his boyfriend arrived he had only finished one fourth of it.

"I really am sorry", he had said. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise."

Sam had stayed for a while, probably hoping for some post-homework makeout session, but once he realized Kurt was way too stressed and tired for fooling around, he left with a toneless "see you tomorrow".

Kurt felt bad, he really did. He had neglected Sam too much lately, what with Cheerio practise, homework, his weekly dates with the girls and, most recently, hanging out with Blaine. He knew that Sam was jealous of every single interaction he had with other guys, but that wouldn't stop him from acing his Glee assignment.

On Monday morning he had planned to wake up extra early so he had time to grab some coffee for both himself and Sam, to make amends for being such a bad boyfriend lately. But his alarm clock didn't go off for some reason, and when he woke up it was already 7:15 am and he had to race to even get to class in time. He had fallen asleep over his homework the night before, but managed to scribble down the last sentences during his very hasty breakfast.

He made a point out of sitting really close to Sam during their first period class, nudging their legs together under the table and kissing him repeatedly. Sam looked a little more at peace with every kiss and it made Kurt feel calmer, too, but suddenly, out of nowhere, Sam's face darkened and he muttered a quick "gotta go" before exiting the classroom without a proper explanation.

Class hadn't even started yet, so Kurt didn't dare follow him in case it would get him into trouble. Sam had never been one to care about causing trouble so of course he could just ditch class if he wanted to, but Kurt wasn't like that. So he just stayed behind and did some polishing of his homework. The room was unusually quiet and everyone kind of kept to themselves. A sudden loneliness struck him as he realized everyone was divided into groups or pairs, and he was the only one sitting by himself now that Sam was gone.

Santana and Brittany were whispering enthusiastically to each other in a corner and every now and then they looked over at him and caught him staring. His suspicions of them talking about him was confirmed when they quickly gathered their things and left the room within a minute.

Everyone was acting weird today. Or was he just imagining things? Quinn was fidgety too, and he caught her glancing his way several times. She had that look on her face that something wasn't quite right, but she was acting so weird he didn't dare ask her about it.

The day passed in a blur. He spent most of it with Quinn and the other Cheerios, although that tension from first period stuck around all day and made things weird. But the weird tension wasn't the worst part. In English class, Kurt went up to the teacher's desk to discuss next week's homework assignment, and when he passed Santana and Brittany, he could have sworn he heard them mention his name. As he walked back to his own seat, he definitely heard his name. But that wasn't truly what caught his ear. He was used to people talking about him behind his back.

No, the thing that made him turn his head was a whispered piece of gossip, a sentence only meant for two pair of ears that somehow reached Kurt's, too.

"I can't believe Quinn would cheat with him."

His blood ran cold and he almost tripped over his own feet.

That single sentence, accompanied by hasty looks thrown Kurt's way, and he couldn't help but wonder if that 'him' was a substitute for 'Sam'. Had he cheated? With who? He had to force himself to keep walking and sit down in his own seat. His insides were squirming violently and he thanked whatever or whoever was looking out for him that his stomach was almost empty of content to throw up.

What's worse was that barely a second later he had heard that sentense passing between Santana and Brittany, Quinn dashed over to them looking thoroughly panicked. Like she had a secret, a big dark secret that no one was to know about. Only now it seemed her two other halves of The Unholy Trinity knew, too. She cast a glance Kurt's way over her shoulder and, when she realized he was watching her, her eyes widened even more and she turned back to Santana and Brittany. She seemed to be on the verge of bursting into tears.

He could have sworn his heart was bursting, too. There had been no mention of Sam, but then why did Quinn look at him with such sheer panic in her eyes? And who else would Quinn have cheated with? Puck, maybe. But he had been working so hard to keep Lauren, he probably wouldn't risk losing her for a night with Quinn. Or maybe he still loved Quinn? Maybe Lauren was just the rebound. But that seemed unlikely, because Kurt had never seen Puck work so hard for a girl as he had fought to convince Lauren into dating him. He wouldn't have done all that for just a rebound girl.

Kurt really had no idea what to think. Somehow he really hoped it was Puck who Quinn had cheated with, but the thought of him and Lauren splitting up made him hurt, too. They were so good for each other and they really made each other better. At least Lauren made Puck, the recently never-changing badboy who had now learned how to show a softer side, much better. He actually hadn't beaten anyone up for about a week, which was a big progress.

But when it came down to it, if he could choose between ending one of the two relationships, he would save his own. He was a selfish bastard, but there was no point in lying about it. The humiliation of possibly getting dumped was making his skin crawl.

Oh god. What if it _was_ Sam?

He couldn't let his panic show, so he did his absolute best to appear untouched for the rest of the period in case someone was watching. But underneath the scraping of his pencil against paper, his distant looks out of the window and the bored tapping of his foot against the table leg, his heart and head was in a heated battle.

His heart wanted to force him to believe that Sam had cheated on him, that he was being foolish to believe otherwise and that Sam had always been too good for him anyway, but his head told him he had no evidence. His rational side argued that he was just beating himself up as usual and making things up in his head without any real proof. No one had mentioned Sam's name, and he should trust him enough not to doubt his faithfulness over a stupid rumour.

When he had eventually managed to calm down, he finally realized it wasn't only him this possible rumour affected. If Quinn cheated with Sam – or any other guy – then that meant she would have cheated on Finn.

He suddenly felt extremely guilty for only thinking about himself. Oh, how distraught Finn would be. They would have to have a lot of mental therapy once he found out. Kurt mentally plotted out how to best cheer Finn up and it was a good way to keep his mind off Sam and Quinn in bed.

He'd have to cook a lot, because the best way to Finn's heart was through his stomach, and he would have to sacrifice his best post-heartbreak musicals for a bunch of football games, or something. Finn would probably not cry or want to talk it out, at least not at first, but he'd want a good round of violent video games and sports watching so he could scream it all out.

Last time Quinn cheated on him, Finn spent an entire week playing and replaying his old zombie video games. The first two days, he didn't sleep and he barely ate. He just stayed up, yelling at the TV and playing until his hands ached to the extent he could barely move them.

Although Kurt never mentioned it, one night when he had come downstairs to try and coax his step brother into going to bed, he had caught Finn sitting alone in the living room, TV still turned on, curled up on the floor with his arms wrapped around himself and his face buried against his arms. Kurt could have sworn he was crying, and he just wanted to go over to him and comfort him, but he knew Finn would never have allowed it. Instead he went back upstairs and the next day he took Finn to an ice cream parlour and told him he could get anything he wanted. They sat there for three hours, Finn just gorging himself with different flavours of ice cream and toppings and sprinkles, while he talked it all out. After that he quickly got better and soon he was back to his old self.

Finn and Kurt didn't usually have those "heart to heart"-talks, but when they did, they were always something extra special. Going to that ice cream parlour had become their code for "we need to talk". It was their special place and the place was associated with both horrible and amazing memories.

Of how he had cried into Finn's shoulder that one time he and Sam had had a fight in the beginning of their relationship, and how Finn had yelled at him for forty minutes straight to get out all his aggravations towards Quinn, who had been a moody, jealous girlfriend due to her pregnancy. But also that time Kurt had got an A on an essay he had been stressing about for weeks, and Finn was so excited he took him to get ice cream in celebration. That little trip ended in the two of them apologizing for all their stupid fights in the past, reassuring each other that they would always be there for each other and then, to top it off, a long brotherly hug that seemed to go on forever.

Finn really was the best brother he could have asked for, even though he was the most annoying person alive sometimes.

No, scratch that. No matter what level of annoyance he reached, he would never exceed Rachel Berry-Anderson in that category. She was the most annoying person he had ever met.

Thinking about helping Finn deal with his heartache, and all the memories of the two of them supporting each other like true brothers, made him feel much better, and he realized how stupid he was being. Sam wasn't cheating on him. He would never do that to him.

But the thought still kept prodding his attention, begging him to freak out again so it could wallow in his misery. But he kept the panic at bay and focused on other things. Most urgently, Mercedes' abscence from school.

It first became obvious to him at lunch when he had no one to sit with because the Cheerios had all decided not to eat that day. Up until then he had been so occupied with other things – mostly listening after more rumours of cheating – that he hadn't noticed. But once he noticed it, he couldn't possibly go back to not knowing. Why hadn't she called him and said she'd stay home from school? She never stayed home without a good reason.

He asked around and no one knew where she was. Not even the teachers. But once he opened up his ears to other voices than the ones who might possible have inside gossip about Quinn, he realized that Quinn's presumed cheating drama wasn't the juicy gossip at McKinley at all that day. Wherever he went he heard whispers about Mercedes, most of them revolving around her being at home crying over something.

It worried him, because he hated seeing his best friend upset, but she didn't answer her phone and he couldn't just abandon his classes, so he had to settle for promising himself to check in on her later that night. As the rest of the day went by, he heard dozens of different rumours, all featuring Mercedes.

"I heard her horse died. Sad, right?"

"Well, I don't know what _you've_ heard, but _I _heard from her brother that their dad was in a car accident."

"Kurt told me she's been in love with him since they met, and today is the one year anniversery of the day she asked him out and he shot her down. Poor her, I can't even imagine falling for a gay guy. It would be so humiliating!"

"She's bulimic, didn't you know? She's been home puking all day. Anyways, should we go splitsies for lunch? Oooh, cupcakes."

And those were only a handful of the crazy things he heard throughout the day. Kurt had never said anything about him and Mercedes to anyone – yes, she had liked him a little in the beginning of their friendship, but she had just felt lonely and The Unholy Trinity tricked her into believing he liked her so it barely counted – but she was by no means heartbroken over it. In fact, the last he heard, she was happily dating a senior boy whose name Kurt could never remember. He knew he was part of the football team, though, but he didn't get along too well with Sam, from what he'd heard.

He also knew that Mercedes didn't have a brother or a horse, and he knew that her dad had not been in a car accident because Kurt had run into him at the local coffee shop during lunch when he, instead of eating lunch by himself in the cafeteria, had gone on a coffee run.

One of the few plausible rumours he heard were the ones saying she was home making herself sick, which would not surprise him as she had been so obsessed with weight and counting calories lately.

He had tried his best to make sure she remained relatively healthy despite her new goal to lose ten pounds at the end of next month, but it was hard as he was trying to lose weight, too. It was just harder watching her struggle then struggling himself. Coach Sylvester had told him he had hips like a pear when he first joined the Cheerios, and he hadn't been able to let go of that thought ever since.

Realizing Sam liked his men "thin and pretty" didn't make things better either, and he was constantly struggling with his body image.

He sent Mercedes at least ten texts throughout the day, asking whether she was okay or not and if it would be okay if he came over after school, but she didn't reply to any of them. It did worry him, because even when she wasn't in the mood to talk, she always texted to say so.

Sam wasn't around much, either. Kurt got the feeling he was avoiding him, and the thought bore into him all day. Was Sam really that upset over missing the date last night? He had seemed almost fine that morning, but then he had got that weird look and run off, and Kurt hadn't seen him since.

Exhausted and still anxious about everything that was going on, he slowly made his way to Cheerio practise that afternoon. It was raining outside and he was really greatful they were practising indoors and not out in the rain. He went by himself to the changing rooms and was relieved to find it to be empty. He was a little late, but not so late that he wouldn't make it in time, and the others were probably already stretching and preparing for the rehearsal.

He quickly restyled his hair as it had lost its volume during the day. As he was rearranging a strayed lock that just wouldn't cooperate, he heard the door burst open behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see some of the other boys from the squad, and instead he found himself face to face with Blaine.

Oh.

"Hi", Blaine said uncertainly. He was slightly breathless, as though he had run to the changing rooms.

"Um, hi."

Kurt lowered his hairspray bottle and placed it on the bench next to him. Slowly raising his gaze, he couldn't help but notice the way Blaine's shirt clung to his arms, revealing them more than usual. How could a guy that spent every minute reading get those muscles?

He shook his head and forced himself to look Blaine in the eye instead, which wasn't the best decision because, as always, his eyes were glowing. The poor lighting of the changing room only made them shine even brighter.

"I, uh, was wondering if-"

"Oh my god, what is that on your neck?", Kurt blurted out before he could stop himself. He rushed over to him and examined the swollen skin on his neck closer.

Blaine blushed, the light red on his cheeks melting into the flaming colour on his neck, and tried to pull up his collar to hide it.

"What happened?", Kurt asked, his voice demanding.

Blaine just stared at him, wide-eyed like a doe in headlights. He looked so scared. At first Kurt didn't understand his behaviour, but then he realized why he looked so scared.

It was Kurt.

The way he stormed up to him, grabbing his collar to yank him forwards so he could look at the bruises. It hadn't been meant to scare him, but it obviously had. Of course, whoever did that must have used a similar technique, and now he had brought up that memory again.

Much gentler, he brought up his fingers to touch the bruised area, and he saw Blaine flinch as he did so.

"Who did this?", he asked softly.

Blaine shrugged vaguely. "It's no big deal."

"Blaine-"

His voice was softer and much more affectionate than he had intended, and at first he could see those emotions reflected in Blaine's dark eyes, but then it all backfired.

That caring comment seemed to push Blaine over some edge. He stepped back, his eyes angry and upset, as he stared back at Kurt who remained with his hand in the air, where Blaine's skin had been only moments before.

"It's nothing, okay? You have _no right_ to-"

He was on the verge of yelling and Kurt really couldn't handle that right now. Instead he put his hands up in obvious surrender, and said, "Yes, I know, I have no right. I'm a bitch and I should shut the fuck up."

That certainly got Blaine's attention. Maybe it was the fact that swear words almost never crossed Kurt Hummel's lips, or maybe it was the fact that he called himself a bitch. Either way, Blaine's mouth fell open in shock.

"W-what? I don't-"

"Well, you should. Because I'm horrible. Everyone knows it", Kurt interrupted fiercely.

His self-esteem was just horrible today – what with the rumoured cheating, Blaine just bursting in and looking so dazzling right in the middle of everything going on, Mercedes' obvious troubles and and the ever ongoing drama that was his life – and now it had just hit rock bottom. He had this painful self-loathing burn in the pit of his stomach, cutting into him like a knife and pushing him towards the edge. And it was so wrong taking it out on Blaine, yet he couldn't control the anger in his voice.

"Why are you even here, Blaine? To laugh in my face like everyone else? Because I'm just really sick of–"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, isn't that want you want? To watch me suffer? Everyone else seems to get a kick out of it", Kurt spat.

Blaine quickly shook his head. "N-no. I just wanted to know if we should practise before Friday or if you just wanted to wing it", he responded. His voice was firmer and more steady now, whilst Kurt felt like his was about to crack.

Maybe that was their thing. While one was upset, the other remained calm and rational, and then they switched roles so the other could blow off some steam. The thought warmed him his heart for a moment or two, but then he realized they shouldn't_ have_ a "thing", and he firmly suppressed the thought.

Kurt stared at him for a few seconds, not really getting what 'practise' meant. What would they be practising?

_Oh_.

"Oh, right, of course. What did you have in mind?", he asked, desperately trying to regain his composure. He was not in the mood for embarrassing himself in front of Blaine, although that was a little late since he had basically yelled at him for no reason. He had been humiliated enough today.

Actually, in his humble lifespan he had already been subjected to so much humiliation, in a fair world, he would have experienced enough of it to last him a whole lifetime. Life, however, isn't fair, a lesson he learned early in life.

It was weird, going from screaming to calm, although awkward, conversation about rehearsal schedules.

"Maybe tonight?", Blaine asked, biting his lip so hard Kurt was afraid he'd pop the delicate skin there and start to bleed.

Once again he had to rip his eyes from Blaine's lips and refocus on his eyes. "Sounds great."

Blaine's eyes lit up – and despite everything that went on, it felt nice seeing Blaine smile – and it was as if they hadn't been yelling a minute ago. "Great! How about seven?"

Kurt gave a weak nod, and cursed himself for turning into jelly under Blaine's gaze. It should be the other way around, right? Kurt should be the confident one making people sob because he was unreachable and taken. He wasn't supposed to be fighting with himself over whether or not to stare at Blaine like he was a piece of eyecandy.

Oh, god. What was happening to him?

As though saved by the bell – although Kurt felt more cornered than saved – the door opened once more and none other than Sam stepped into the room.

"Hey, babe, they're about to begin and-"

And that's when he spotted Blaine, standing too close to Kurt for it to be completely innocent. Somehow they had moved towards each other again without noticing, and now they were caught with their pants down. Well... not literally. Thank god for that.

"Sam!", Kurt burst out, forcing a smile, only to have it come out looking like he was having a panic attack. Which he kind of was. "I'm coming, baby, Blaine was just leaving."

Kurt shot Blaine a warning glare not to argue and then reached for his bag to pick up a sheet of paper.  
It didn't have anything written on it, but he handed it to Blaine anyway, saying, "Here's the paper you needed."

He hoped Blaine would catch on, and he did so impressively fast. "Oh, yeah, thank you! I'll give it back to you tomorrow."

He took it and shoved it in his own bag before Sam could examine it and notice it was empty.

"So, uh, yeah. Bye, Kurt."

"Bye, hobbit", Sam snarled, walking over to Kurt and looping his arm around his shoulder as he glared at Blaine.

Kurt wanted to punch him because he was being so unfair. Blaine hadn't done anything wrong and yet Sam was acting like a complete jerk. But he didn't dare yell at him, because he felt their relationship was so fragile it might very well break from the pressure of a fight.

"By the way, babe, I've planned a super romantic dinner for us tonight", Sam purred, pulling Kurt closer.

Kurt knew he only announced it just then because he wanted Blaine to hear it. Kurt hated these kinds of unnecessary public display. Their dates were of no ones business but their own, so why was it important that Blaine was there to hear it? What was the point of it?

Was Sam really petty enough to want Blaine to be jealous of him because he had Kurt and Blaine didn't?

That was no cause for celebration, at least not in Kurt's eyes. Who in their right mind would want him? He was still convinced Sam was dating him out of pity. Or maybe because, for some unknown reason, Kurt was popular, and he wanted a popular boost, too.

The prospect of a fancy romantic dinner with Sam made Kurt more nervous than happy. Still, he tried to sound flattered as he said, "Oh, you have?"

It was obvious that Blaine had heard it, because he stopped momentarily in the doorway, and Kurt could swear he saw his shoulders drop even lower.

"Blaine, we, uh-", Kurt wasn't sure what he was trying to say.

He wanted to say sorry, for just letting Sam treat him like that and not even trying to intervene, for being such a jerk when the only thing Blaine himself ever was was a complete sweetheart to everyone. He wanted to apologize for everything, but instead he just voiced the inevitable. "I won't make that rehearsal tonight."

Blaine turned around and pulled a smile, but it seemed forced. "It's fine. I'll see you around." Then his eyes darted to Sam's arm slung around Kurt's shoulder and- oh god, was that pain flashing in his eyes? Kurt's knees suddenly felt very, very weak and a burning longing to just wrap his arms around Blaine's tiny, sad form threatened to consume him.

Instead he felt Sam's sweaty arms clutch his shoulder and he felt so very trapped, as if Sam's arms were forming a prison around him.

"I hope you have fun tonight."

The words spilling from Blaine's mouth were quiet and so filled with raw emotion, and Kurt wanted to reach out for him so badly.

But then he was gone.

Kurt immediately slipped out of Sam's arms, snatched his bag from the bench and headed into the sports hall. He didn't even check to see if Sam followed. It was all so confusing, but he really hated Sam in that moment. It was he who inflicted that pain upon Blaine, he who made him look so hurt.

Only that it wasn't Sam at all. It was Kurt's fault and he knew it. He just didn't want to know it. But how could it not be?

Everything was always his fault.

He had a lot of anger, confusion and pain to let out, and what better way than to spend two hours sweating and aching doing backflips and lifts while coach Sylvester screamed obscenities at him?


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello all fabulous readers!**

**Here's the second part of the two-part chapter! It's a big, big, big chapter! (Hunger Games, anyone?)**

**It's almost 7000 words actually. Wow. ****And it's a lot of drama, so I hope it's worth the 7 day-wait.**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

Later that night, 5:12pm to be exact, found Kurt running around his room, items of clothing flying around him as he held them up for inspection and then tossed them aside in his search for the perfect outfit.

He first tried on a pair of tight fitted jeans, a light blue shirt with rolled up sleeves and a black vest over it, but quickly changed his mind.

He needed something that was fancier than that, but not so fancy it looked like he had put too much effort into it. He kept the jeans on but changed into a bright red, tight shirt. He did a few spins in front of his full-body mirror before he discarded that one, too.

It was too under-dressed, even when he added a slim black tie to the look, and Sam had explicitly told him he had planned something fancy.

Next, he got out a different pair of jeans, a little less tight than the other ones but still tight enough, and a plain white t-shirt. Over it he wore his dark blue Marc Jacobs jacket that was at least a year old, but he still loved it dearly. He took a quick look in the mirror and then stripped it all off.

He was even desperate enough to go over to Finn's room and beg him to come help him choose something. Finn had been reluctant, as Kurt had caught him talking on the phone in that low supposed-to-be seductive voice he used when he wanted to sound sexy, and he had most obviously been talking to Quinn when Kurt entered the room. When Kurt asked him to say hello from him, though, Finn flushed pink and mumbled something incoherently before abruptly ending the phone call without a single word of goodbye.

Despite how weird he was acting, he came with Kurt to his room and sat on the bed while Kurt showed off his many options. He offered at least six different outfits, but Finn just looked dumbstruck for a moment and then pointed to a chair next to Kurt's bed with a green shirt thrown over it and said "that one looks cool", at which Kurt asked him if he had actually been dropped on his head as a child and threw him out. 'That green one' was a shirt with The Hulk that Kurt had borrowed from Finn to sleep in.

He knew it was immature of him to scream at Finn – he had only tried to help, and must have not recognized the shirt. And Finn must have been hurt because when Kurt went by his room to apologize, the door was locked. He quickly scribbled down an apology and a promise of making him pancakes for lunch tomorrow and taped it to Finn's door. Confident that would do the trick, he went back to his own room to continue on in his frantic search of The Perfect Outfit.

Since asking Finn hadn't worked, he decided to call Mercedes instead. She was the most sensible choice, anyway, and he wasn't sure why he had actually asked Finn instead of her. Of all her friends, she was probably the most capable when it came to these things.

She was however, if possible, of even less help than Finn this time. She picked up the phone with her usual sassy, "Mercedes?", but as soon as she heard his voice, her voice cracked and she made a quick excuse before hanging up.

He didn't even get to the "I need your advice"-part before she began to stutter out her lame excuse. He knew that she just didn't want to talk to him, because there was no way she was actually "forced to go because I promised mom I'd run five miles today. Okay, bye".

Why she was avoiding him, he didn't know. But he didn't have time to figure it out, either, and he didn't let himself linger on it any longer but threw himself right back into his wardrobe. It was a thankful distraction from the fact that everyone was acting weird lately and he couldn't help but feel – no matter how self-centered it might sound – that it had something to do with him.

After about ten more plausible outfits, and at least an hours time, he finally found one that fit the bill.

It was his most recently bought pair of pants – skintight and pitch-black. They were expensive, even though he had talked his way to a considerably cheaper deal than the initial price, but it was worth every cent. They fit him perfectly, like a second skin, and left very little to the imagination. He really hoped Sam would like them, and had no doubt in his mind that he would. Sam would approve of anything that tight.

He hadn't had a chance to wear his new darlings yet, which was perfect. He loved the feeling of wearing a new garment and, even though other people rarely noticed any new items since his wardrobe was so varied and hard to keep track on, it always felt so special that first time.

He then selected a long-sleeved dress shirt with delicate flecks of gold incorporated into it so that, when he was out in the sunlight, at certain angles he would appear golden.

To match, he wore a pair of lace-up boots, a Christmas gift from his father. Technically, Burt had given him the money and Kurt had bought the boots himself. Burt was a fantastic dad, but he was not a very good gift buyer, which Kurt had realized at an early age. Since forever they had had that same deal: Kurt got a small package mostly for symbolic reasons and a bit of money so he could get his own gift by himself, both knowing they saved a lot of time that way since Kurt would just go trade the things Burt got him anyway.

He topped it all off with a bow tie complimenting the flecks of gold in his shirt; it had clocks and clockworks on it, and it almost appeared to be made of very delicate golden glass. He did a few spins in front of the mirror and, satisfied with his look at last, he continued with the next issue at hand: his hair.

He spent another forty minutes in front of his bathroom mirror, styling and re-styling his hair. His hair was usually the easiest part of his look, but tonight he seemed to struggle with just about everything. At last he managed to shape it in a way that didn't leave him wanting to sit in the middle of the shower spray and cry while rocking back and forth, and he considered that progress.

He sprayed an extra coat of hairspray around his handiwork and then dabbed a little makeup on his face. Not eyeliner or anything too extravagant, but just a light coat of foundation to hide any potential blemishes. His face was as clear as ever, though, thanks to him never forgetting his twice-a-day skin routine. It was one of his biggest prides, the way he never compromised his skin care at any cost.

It often annoyed Sam that Kurt would be all 'oiled up' when he wanted to cuddle before going to bed, but Kurt tried not to let his complaints get to him. It wasn't often they spent the night together anyway, and when they did they weren't allowed to sleep in the same bed because Kurt's dad was sure they would 'be inappropriate' if he let them share. Kurt was rather grateful, actually, because sometimes when they were alone, Sam would hint that he wanted to take things further than fooling around and kissing, and Kurt still wasn't ready for that yet.

He was suddenly jerked out of his thoughts as the doorbell rang downstairs, and he forced himself to move out of the bathroom and grab his things from the bedroom.

He opted for his usual messenger bag, checked that he had his wallet, phone and emergency makeup kit packed, and went downstairs to greet his boyfriend.

Carole was making small talk with him by the door and as she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs, she turned to him, beaming.

"Make sure you're home by 10pm, okay?", she said in that pretend-to-be stern tone of hers, but Kurt could see her eyes twinkling. Then, a moment later, she added in a hushed voice, "I might be able to stall your father until midnight, but no sooner than that."

Kurt grinned at her and enveloped her in a hug. Moving his head a little so he could whisper in her ear, he said, "Thanks."

She let go and beamed at him before offering a polite "you two have fun" before rejoining Burt and Finn at the dinner table. As soon as she left, Sam pulled him flush against him to join their lips together in a kiss. Kurt was a little thrown off at first, mostly by the surprise, but then eased into it.

When they separated, Sam had that little smug smile on his lips. "You look hot."

Kurt's smile fell a little. "You look hot". Hot. Not great, or beautiful, or gorgeous. Hot.

He should be happy, he supposed. What boy didn't want his boyfriend to find him hot?

He _was_ happy. It was just a little tiring to always get that one word: hot. Like Kurt was nothing more than his boy toy that he paraded around in his fancy clothes and glossy hair. Like he was nothing more than a belonging.

He shrugged it off and gave Sam a smile instead. He didn't want anything to go wrong tonight. Sam was making an effort and he wasn't going to screw that up.

Instead he spent another few minutes trying to choose which coat to go with. Sam got a little impatient and told him he looked good in either one of them, so Kurt finally opted for a blue-gray jacket with several rows of buttons that ended little under his hips. It fit snugly to him and Sam quickly showed his appreciation for that by wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and kissing him hungrily.

Kurt gently pried him off long enough to say, "Slow down, tiger. I don't want my dad catching us like this or he'll never let you back into our house."

Sam smirked at this and reluctantly let him go.

They went out to his car and with Kurt in the passenger seat and Sam behind the wheel, they were soon on their way.

"Where are we going?", Kurt asked curiously.

"You'll see", Sam teased, although there was a hint of grimness in his voice that made Kurt shiver.

Then a sudden fear hit him. What if he was under-dressed after all? What if there was some super fancy opera thingy or something that required a tux?

But a single glance at what Sam was wearing and he immediately put those thoughts out of his mind. Sam was dressed in a simple white v-necked t-shirt, a forest green tweed jacket and a pair of well-worn jeans.

"Oh, honey", he said pitifully. "Tweed really isn't your thing."

Sam quickly glanced down at his jacket and then back at Kurt before returning his gaze to the road ahead.

"No? Damn. I was trying to dress all classy and stuff", he said with a sigh.

The thought made Kurt smile. After all the arguments they had had about Sam never listening to what he said, he had been wrong after all. Sam _did_ listen, and he had tried to make Kurt happy.

He decided to put his picky fashion sense away for the evening and leaned back into his seat. "It's fine. It actually looks quite good on you."

It didn't. Kurt had never been a fan of tweed. It was tacky and it reminded him too much of Mr Schuester and his fondness for the stuff. But, he figured, he should support Sam's attempt at dressing in something other than hoodies and football sweaters, even if the result was something of a fashion disaster. No matter. They were supposed to have fun tonight, and that's what he set his mind on as they continued on driving in silence.

The silence was pressing, though, and to relieve it Kurt decided to put on the radio. The first song that aired was Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, and Kurt couldn't help the pang of guilt that went through him as his thoughts immediately shifted to Blaine and his enormous Katy Perry collection.

Damn. He had gone several hours without thinking about Blaine and his stupid face, but now he was letting a silly song ruin all that hard work.

To distract himself, he switched channels until he ended up with a completely Blaine-free song that Sam really seemed to like but Kurt had never heard of.

Well, it was at least better than the alternative, he thought as he looked out the window and listened to the faint sound of Sam humming along to the music.

It was at least twenty minutes until they reached their destination and Sam parked the car outside a quite fancy looking restaurant.

Kurt's mouth fell open slightly. This was nothing like the Breadstix dates they had had before.

Sam hurried around the car to open the door for him, to Kurt's astonishment. He really was trying.

"Well, aren't you a gentleman", he teased as he took Sam's arm and let him guide him into the restaurant.

Sam just grinned and handed him his coat, telling him to get it signed into the wardrobe while he went to get them a table. He had actually called ahead to make a reservation, which, as Kurt gazed around the place, was probably well needed. It was crammed with people laughing and conversing amongst themselves.

He went to the line outside the wardrobe and soon came up to the counter and handed in their coats, getting a plastic slip of paper in return with the black numbers "241" written onto it. He carefully put it in his pocket and then made his way to the side of the entrance so he wouldn't get in anyone's way, as he waited for Sam to return. He soon came and dragged Kurt along to their assigned table. Kurt was slightly astounded that they had been able to get a table so soon; the place really was crammed.

As they stepped into it properly, he noticed just how nice the restaurant was. It was a huge rectangular room, with a door leading into a smaller room with several more tables, and it was lined with dark wooden panels and a couple of high windows. The tables were set with a gorgeous red linen, fancy silverware and a tall candle, already lit. It was hard not to feel under-dressed in such a place, but he at least felt better dressed than Sam, which wasn't of much comfort but he tried not to dwell on it. The people surrounding them weren't dressed in super expensive dresses and tuxes, either, but in more a casually fancy way.

They sat down across from each other, Sam instantly picking up the menu to go over the selections whilst Kurt took a few moments to fully appreciate his surroundings.

"Isn't this terribly expensive?", he asked as he turned his head back to his boyfriend.

Sam shrugged, his eyes never leaving the menu. "I got a discount because my mom knows the owner." Then he jerked his head up, blushed, and said, "I mean, only the best for you, babe."

Kurt decided to feel flattered and smiled before picking up his own menu.

It _was_ expensive.

Just skimming through the pages, he realized this was way out of his league. And who was paying, anyway? Was this one of the I-pay-for-everything-dates, or was Kurt supposed to pay for himself? They usually paid for themselves on regular dates, and then took turns treating each other on the more rare occasion.

But it was Sam's idea to go here, so he must be paying, right? Kurt actually hoped he wouldn't. He always felt so embarrassed being paid for, like he was incapable of paying for himself. Of course, if Sam did pay, he could use his money to buy himself another scarf instead, but still-

His confusion must have read in his eyes, because Sam frowned a little and said, "I'm paying, remember? Get whatever you like."

"Can't I at least pay for drinks or something? I feel bad", Kurt mumbled.

"Hey, I asked you out, didn't I?", Sam reminded him, and Kurt thought he hinted an edge in his voice. He was smart enough not to press things further once Sam was starting to get annoyed.

"Okay, thank you", he said instead and returned to going through the menu.

He thought he heard Sam mumble something along the lines of "it's the least I can do" before turning back to his own menu, but he wasn't sure.

Putting it out of his mind, he finally decided on a gorgeous-looking pasta dish with pesto and lots of fresh vegetables, whilst Sam ordered in a steak and a side-dish of fries, even though it wasn't technically on the menu.

Kurt only barely resisted rolling his eyes but managed to keep himself from it in favor of starting on the Diet Coke just placed before him. Sam ordered a beer with his fake ID and commented on Kurt's "eight-year-old choice".

Kurt didn't let it get to him, though, but merely smiled and took a sip. It had two or three ice cubes in it and was deliciously cold, and he immediately felt himself relax. His Diet Coke was something familiar in this otherwise, to him, unnatural environment.

From there on the conversation flowed rather smoothly, perhaps because of Sam now having some alcohol, if not much, running through his blood to loosen him up. He told Kurt, without being asked, about his recent football game and the ones coming up, and Kurt spoke for five minutes about a soon-to-be launched clothing line that he was really looking forward to, only he didn't finish it as he noticed Sam's obvious disinterest. He smoothly turned the conversation back to football and action movies instead, topics that Sam could plow into for hours if allowed.

Once the food arrived, neither one said much, except for the occasional "was yours good?" and the standardized "yep, yours?" in reply.

With nothing to distract him with but his food, Kurt's mind more and more often drifted off into forbidden territory.

_Wonder what Blaine is doing? Probably studying, or watching a movie._ _Maybe he's thinking about me too._

He almost jumped at the thought. No, that was beyond inappropriate things to be thinking about now.

To get rid of the stupid thoughts, he forced a conversation about Glee club just to distract himself. Sam was only barely participating as he was much more interested in eating his food than talking, so Kurt basically carried the conversation by himself, thinking aloud about what songs he thought the others were going to sing and how he wished there wouldn't be some drama whipped up between Finn and Rachel.

This topic was easy enough and Kurt kept it up for at least fifteen minutes, with Sam mostly keeping to his food, with the occasional loose comment to Kurt's opinions. But he could only do so much with such a detached conversation partner, and soon Kurt simply couldn't think of anything more to say. The topic was completely drained and silence was quickly bearing down upon them, pressing and tense as ever. And Kurt panicked.

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, "Did you know that people are saying Quinn cheated on Finn?"

Sam spit out a piece of meat on his plate, Kurt wincing as the red goo almost made it to his plate too, and coughed violently. Well, that wasn't very innocent.

"Really?", he managed eventually, and Kurt could hear the pressed down anxiety in his voice. _Oh god._

He had lost all appetite but forced himself to keep eating. The delicious pasta had lost all flavor and might as well be ash in his mouth. He swallowed the lump in his throat before saying, "Yeah, I heard people talking about it all day. Isn't it sad?"

Sam didn't look him in the eye for the rest of the meal.

Kurt ordered in two refills of his Diet Coke and gulped it down like it was liquid courage. His chest felt unusually tight and breathing became harder by the minute.

"How about a walk?", Sam suggested suddenly, his eyes snapping up to meet Kurt's. His eyes were narrowed and had that slight edge that always unsettled Kurt.

"Okay", Kurt said hesitantly, thankful for the distraction yet a little nervous about Sam's tone. He reluctantly left the restaurant, because it was so very nice and he wasn't used to being in such a fancy place. He wished he could have savoured the moment more.

Sam waved over the waiter for the check and, despite Kurt's protests, paid for them both.

Due to it being a public place, they hadn't been very physical with each other, partly because it made Kurt nervous even in private and partly because he – rightfully so – feared that Sam would beat up anyone even glancing their way. He could be annoyingly overprotective, both against potential homophobes and flirty guys.

Sam got their coats from the wardrobe and then, before Kurt could even blink, he grabbed his arm and pulled him outside.

"Why so quick?", Kurt teased, but he nonetheless accepted Sam's arm and held onto him as they strolled away from the restaurant. Somehow Sam seemed to relax and tense up at the same time with each step.

"No reason", Sam said calmly. Kurt decided to settle for that, and simply leaned into his arm as they kept walking.

The restaurant was placed a little way from a river, and a neat little footpath allowed them to walk alongside it. It was mostly dark outside now and the bright moon was reflected in the glass-clear water. Kurt was just admiring it, feeling all warm and cozy inside despite the intense cold around him that not even his coat could keep out, and for the first time in quite a while he felt this _connection_ to Sam, like they were actually a couple and he- he felt_ happy_.

But, of course, fate has never been kind to Kurt Hummel and would not let that fleeting happiness linger.

"There was this guy eyeing you."

Sam's words almost didn't reach Kurt's conscious mind as he was so occupied with this new sensation of feeling content and happy. Once they registered, though, he felt all those feelings sink to the pit of his stomach again.

"Are you serious?", he grit out. "We left just because someone accidentally looked my way?"

"You don't understand", Sam bit back. The tension was back between them, if not stronger now. "He was undressing you with his eyes."

Kurt snorted. "Don't be ridiculous, no one would do that."

Almost inaudibly, Sam said, "Well, it's kind of like you're asking for it."

Kurt immediately pulled back from him, as if he had been electrified. Deeply offended, almost daring Sam to repeat what he had said, he spat out, "Excuse me?"

Sam stopped, too, and turned to look at him. There was something in his eyes that Kurt couldn't quite name.

"I'm not saying you should dress in baggy clothes or whatever, I just- well, it's kind of _inviting_ dressing like that."

Kurt's eyes widened even more. He wasn't sure whether he was more offended or hurt by the words. He suddenly felt a wave of self-consciousness flood over him, and he instinctively crossed his arms across his chest, to somehow protect himself from the harsh words.

He refused to show himself vulnerable, and forcibly pressed down every self-loathing thought that raced through his mind (_"I knew these pants were too much, I never should have bought them. Does everyone think this of me? Maybe he's right, maybe I'm just an attentionwhore doing anything for attention. Maybe-") _and instead focused on the growing seed of anger towards Sam and his unjustified jealousy.

He had rarely been so grateful for his fluency in witty comebacks.

"Wow, Sam, is that what you tell rape victims, too? That they had it coming because they wore that particular skirt or dress?", Kurt spat, his voice dripping with disgust.

"That has nothing to do with this, Kurt", Sam retorted, his eyes narrowing. "You dress that way because you want attention, it's no secret."

"Of course I want attention! I want people to know that I'm not some tacky idiot who can't dress properly. That doesn't mean I'm _inviting _people to anything. And I would never cheat on you, if that's what you think", Kurt snapped.

Sam's mouth snapped shut before he had even finished speaking.

"And for the record", Kurt continued on, blinded by rage and not at all paying attention to Sam's now fidgety demeanor. "I dress this way because I like it, not to please anyone else. And I thought you appreciated that."

Sam finally snapped back to himself and, surely not having thought it through properly, spat out, "Yeah, and you're supposed to be trying to please _me_ and not a bunch of other people, strutting around in those stupid pants. It makes you look like a cheap sl-"

And that's when Kurt slapped him, hard and fast across the face. He almost regretted it, but then the words really sunk in and he had never regretted anything less.

"Don't you dare say that again", he spat.

Sam clutched his hands to his quickly bruising cheek. "You- you just slapped me!"

"You called me a cheap slut", Kurt retorted.

Sam gritted his teeth and, still clutching his cheek, he stared back at Kurt. "I'm sorry, I was wrong. You're not a slut; you're a fucking prude."

Kurt only barely resisted slapping him again. "I'm sorry? I'm a _prude_?"

"Yeah! We've been together for months, Kurt, and we still haven't had sex. I've been trying to be nice to you and make you feel comfortable but you just won't give it up!", Sam burst out.

"I'm a virgin, Sam! I want my first to be spe-"

Sam just waved his hand dismissively. Like Kurt's opinions didn't matter in the slightest. "Yeah, yeah, I know, you want it to be special and magical and everything, but guess what, honey, it never is. You're just making such a big deal about it and it's really frustrating! We should have just fucked on the first date and be done with it instead of building the tension like this."

"I thought you respected that I wasn't ready!", Kurt yelled, trying hard not to blush at Sam's phrasing.

The volume had steadily gone up since they first started arguing, and they were both all but yelling now. Luckily there weren't any people around to witness it.

"I did, but I thought you meant a few weeks or maybe a month! Not this long. I have needs, you know, and as my boyfriend you're suppos-"

Kurt's blood was seething at that point, his arms still folded across his chest and his nails digging into the sensitive skin on his hands. "I'm not _supposed_ to do anything but what I'm comfortable with, and I never thought you'd pressure me into anything."

"I wouldn't have to pressure you if you weren't such a tease! You can't wear things that tight and not expect me to get a-"

"Sam!", Kurt cried, a blush creeping onto his face. After all this time, he was still sensitive to the more vulgar terms. Or, if he were being honest, anything sex related still creeped him out a little.

"Oh my god, don't you see how much of a prude you are?", Sam yelled. "It's impossible to get you to do anything at all, it's no wonder it's impossible for me not to stray when you won't do _anything_! Dating you is such a pain sometimes, you know that, it's so-"

All emotion had drained from Kurt's face, and Sam must have noticed, because he stopped abruptly to just stare at him.

"What do you mean 'stray'?", Kurt whispered.

The tell-tale lack of color on Sam's face was all he needed. It was so painfully obvious now and he couldn't believe he had been so naive as to believe Sam would be faithful to him.

"You- you-"

He stumbled backwards, almost falling into the river but instead colliding with a tree that he pressed himself back on. Sam came closer, hands stretched out carefully as if he was approaching a dangerous animal.

"Kurt, I-"

But Kurt was too upset to even care anymore. He was fighting hard not to let his emotions read on his face, but it was hard because it felt as though his very skin was about to burst with the strain of keeping it all in, and he wasn't sure which feeling was the strongest. Betrayal. Shame. Disgust.

"Look, whatever happened, I care about you, okay, I just- you've been distant and she was there for me and- I'm sorry, okay, but maybe it's possible you can have feelings for two people at once, I don't know, it's just-"

But Kurt didn't hear any of his ramblings. All he could see was the look of guilt on his face, which told him absolutely everything yet not nearly enough. He needed to hear the words.

"Just tell me", he said brokenly. He hated that he sounded so heartbroken and small. He didn't want Sam to get that satisfaction. "Tell me, and get this over with."

Sam stared him in the eye for a few moments, weighing his options and what would happen once he let those words slip. Finally, he realized he didn't have a choice.

"I slept with someone else."

His voice was dull and lacked any real emotion, and maybe that was why it hurt so badly.

Kurt's ability to form proper thoughts shut down right away. The air was completely punched out of him and it felt like he was the one who had just been slapped across the face for the second time that night. His mind was blank and his whole body on fire, burning and twitching and screaming for him to run as far away as he could.

But Sam's hand on his arm wouldn't let him.

"Let me go, Sam!", he yelled, trying to snatch his arm back but without success.

"Kurt, look, I know it's bad but I was confused, okay? I really like you but she was just _there _when you weren't and I _am_ sorry but-"

"And that's your excuse? That I was gone and because some random girl happened to cross your path you just had to sleep with her?", Kurt snapped.

"She isn't some random girl I just picked up in a bar or whatever, I really like her, and I really like you too, it's just confusing and-"

Anger was boiling up inside of him again, to his relief. Anger was better than raw pain. "So you didn't only sleep with someone else, you actually have feelings for that person, too, yet you still expect me to forgive you?"

Sam's eyes narrowed dangerously. The softness in his voice was gone now. "Don't make me look like the bad guy here. You haven't exactly been the most faithful boyfriend ever these last few weeks."

"And what is that supposed to mean?", Kurt grit out.

Sam struck a pretend-to-think pose, which only further agitated Kurt. He was not in the mood for Sam's stupid impressions right now.

"How about the fact that you've been spending more time with that ugly _hobbit_ than with me? Hanging out together outside of school, going to the movies- it's so obvious you've cheated too. I only did what I did because I knew you two were hooking up, and I felt lonely and she was there to make me feel better and then things- _progressed_", he said finally, eyes boring into Kurt.

Sam was such an emotional rollercoaster. One second he was yelling, the next he was trying to apologize and perhaps get back together, and then all of a sudden he was yelling again.

Kurt was at least consistent in his anger.

"First, don't talk about him like that, he has never done you anything. Secondly, Blaine and I never did _anything_ that was anything above friendly!", Kurt argued. "We're just friends. _You_ on the other hand slept with someone else. I just sang a few songs with a guy, and you tell me it's my fault you cheated on me?"

Sam stared him straight in the eye, and said, "Can you honestly tell me you don't feel anything for him?"

Kurt's mouth opened, and he meant to say "no, I have absolutely no feelings for him", but he couldn't. It wasn't true.

He wasn't sure he would go as far as to call it _love_, but merely the mention of Blaine's name made Kurt's stomach do high kicks and flips.

"Exactly. You cheated first, so stop with the whole victim scheme", Sam said, and finally released his arm.

Kurt just glared at him.

"You're such a jerk. How did I not see that before?", he spat, and then turned around.

"Where are you going?", Sam asked, trying to pull him back. "What does this mean for us?"

Kurt just stared at him for a few seconds, and then he turned around again without giving an answer. He wasn't sure what it meant.

Had it been a one-night-stand, maybe he could have forgiven it. But if Sam was falling for someone else... then he didn't want to be a part of it. It wasn't right to either of them.

And he was right, even though he still was wrong to blame it all on Kurt, but he _had_ been spending more time with Blaine than Sam, and maybe this was just something that needed to happen. Maybe they weren't right for each other, and maybe Kurt had known all along.

But it still hurt like hell, and he felt _so_ humiliated.

His body was drained from the energy it took to keep up that sassy, I-don't-care-facade, and now his whole body was telling him to run - which is what he did.

Without another word he spun on his heel and ran.

He could hear Sam scream "and how are you going to get home?", but it didn't register in his mind and he just kept running. He ran until he lost his breath and his legs were threatening to give in, his mouth tasting blood and eyes almost blacking out from the strain put on his tired body. Yet he kept running.

Either Sam didn't come after him, or he just couldn't catch up. Kurt was an excellent runner, after all, despite his currently disoriented state. His head was aching so badly – his whole body was, and it was hard to keep moving when all he wanted to do was to lie down and cry.

He wasn't sure what hurt the most; Sam betraying him, or knowing that it was Quinn – who he loved and trusted – who was the cause of his current heartache. Because who else would it had been? It must be her. How could he possibly face her again?

But maybe the most horrible thought was that Kurt had brought it upon himself.

Because Sam was right. He hadn't physically cheated, but emotionally, he had been much more interested in Blaine recently. And maybe it was fair of Sam to blame it all on him. It usually was Kurt's fault, anyway.

He finally got back to the restaurant, and just in time, too, because his knees gave away the second he sank onto the hood of his car. And then it hit him that it wasn't his car, but Sam's. And Sam had the keys.

There was no way he would sit in the same car as him for the drive home. He was too humiliated to even think about it.

So here he was, stranded in the middle of nowhere, or at least a twenty minute drive away from home – without a car.

He wasn't sure how he managed to dial the number – out of sheer memory, too – and politely order a cab while walking away from Sam's car and over to the curb, without completely breaking down. He had not yet sunk so low that he would cry on the phone to a complete stranger.

He was still shivering with suppressed feelings – just off the top of his head; rage, shock, humiliation – and he felt horribly lost. What was he supposed to do now? He had never felt so alone.

So far he had managed to keep from crying, and he intended on keeping it that way. He wasn't going to cry over Sam and his betrayal; he wasn't going to sink that low. He would walk away with his head held high.

And when the cab finally arrived, Sam still hadn't showed up, to Kurt's great relief. He slid into the car and buckled his seat belt before sinking deep into the seat. The sudden warmth of the cab was more than welcome in comparison to the biting cold outside.

The cab driver pulled back out on the road and was silent for a few moments, during which Kurt leaned his head against the cool glass window and almost drifted off before the low rumble of the driver's voice broke into his quiet sphere.

"Excuse me, what?", Kurt asked foolishly.

"Where to?", the driver asked gruffly, looking at him through the rear mirror.

Kurt stared back for a few moments. His mind was completely blank. Where was he supposed to go?

He should go home, he supposed. Carole would be a good support, she always was. She would know what to say. But he hated coming to her with his problems and have her fuss over him, because it happened so frequently and he was so ashamed of his inability to be independent.

Maybe he could go to Mercedes' house and cry his heart out on her shoulder instead. She had done the same uncountable times, so it would feel less embarrassing. But she had been acting so weird lately and he wasn't sure the best way to amend their obviously shaken relationship was by turning up on her doorstep sobbing over his recent break-up.

Wait- was it a break-up? Had they even broken up, or was it just a particularly nasty fight?

Maybe they could still work this out.

Only that, honestly, Kurt had no fight left in him. He had fought so hard for them to work, compromised himself so much for Sam's convenience, and the one thing he would not give up had driven Sam to the point where he would cheat. Not only cheat, he reminded himself – fall for another person.

He wasn't going to sacrifice himself for a stupid guy, not anymore.

He was Kurt Hummel, damn it. The ever-fabulous, fashionable don't-change-for-anyone-Kurt Hummel who did_ not_ cry over boys and certainly did _not_ go begging for forgiveness from boys who cheated on him, especially when the cheater blamed it all on _him_.

No, it was most definitely over. He couldn't even think about Sam without feeling sick to his stomach.

But back to the problem at hand – where to go?

The answer came to him naturally, like second nature, and he wasn't even aware of speaking the address, but then the words were out there and he couldn't possibly take them back. And he was so _tired,_ he just couldn't bring himself to care too much. Embarrassment could wait to later.

Instead of worrying, like he knew he should, he sank back further into the soft leather of the cab seat and allowed the soft humming of the engine to rock him into an uneasy half-sleep as the cab carried him to safety.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Yay! Update!**

**...Aaaand cue the Klaine.**

* * *

_[Blaine's POV]_

He was not going to mope around all day, that was for sure. And he would _not_ re-play that scene in the locker room over and over again in his head until he was certain he would explode. And he did _not _almost break down crying at the thought of Sam's arms wrapped around Kurt.

But despite that none of these things were supposed to happen, Rachel still found him curled up on the bed in his room later that night, an empty box of chocolates next to him and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince playing on the TV. Rachel instantly knew something was up, because that was one of his favorite movies to cry to. He wasn't crying now, though, but he had a pillow clutched tightly to his chest and his eyes were worryingly distant.

"Hey", she said softly when she slipped into the room. He hadn't answered her knocks, so she decided to go in anyway.

"Go away", he mumbled, never glancing away from the screen. It was painfully bright in contrast to the otherwise pitch-black room.

She carefully closed the door behind her and went over to his bed. His hair gel had gradually faded out during the day, and a few stray curls had fallen from its grasp.

She gently brushed them aside and let her fingers linger for just a second too long.

"What are you doing here, Rachel?", he asked, ducking away from her touch.

She sat down on the bed next to him and remained silent for a few moments. Being her brother, he knew her ways, and was well aware that she wouldn't talk until he looked at her. He refused for at least three or four minutes, but then he gave up and shifted a little so he could face her. The faster he surrendered, the faster he'd get rid of her.

"Why are you sad?", she asked seriously.

"I'm not sad."

"Then why are you sitting up here all alone instead of downstairs with me and mom?", Rachel asked, eyebrows raised.

"Because you are annoying."

"I'm not annoying. I'm- _enthusiastic._"

"I think the word you're looking for is _nosy_."

Rachel gave him a light slap on the arm, but she was considerably nicer than usual. Any other day she would have pushed him off the bed instead.

"Honestly, Blaine. What's going on? I can tell something's wrong", she said. "I know you just think of me as the annoying sister but I'm a great listener, too."

He just sighed. "You'll just judge me."

"No, no, I promise I won't!", she exclaimed, edging closer to him. Her eyes were so wide, they could just pop out of their sockets any second. "Just tell me."

He eyed her for a few moments, almost tempted, before he turned away and shook his head. "No, it won't do any good. I just- I'll get over it."

"Get over _what_? You being this upset doesn't do any good for any of us. We need your voice!"

He internally thanked his parents for buying him a king-sized bed that now allowed him to scoot away from Rachel and her prying eyes. "So that's why you want me to 'talk it out'? So I'll get my shit together and sing better in Glee?"

"No! Or, well, partly. But mostly because I don't want you to be unhappy", Rachel said.

"It's nothing, okay. I'm just having a bad day and I'd like to watch my movie in peace, thank you very much."

Rachel made a weird, snorting sound and got to her feet. "_Fine_. Just remember that I tried to be a good sister but you're so stuck up and stubborn you refu-"

"It's Kurt."

Rachel was cut off short and her mouth was left opened as she stared down at her brother.

"_What_?" she hissed.

"I told you you'd judge me", Blaine muttered and reached for the remote to put the movie on pause.

"You're upset about Kurt", Rachel repeated, as if the information was only just sinking in.

"Yes. It's a whole big mess and it's getting me down", Blaine said.

"What is a big mess? What happened? Did you-"

"I didn't do anything, Rachel", Blaine snapped. "It's just a little hard for me to- it's nothing. I shouldn't have said anything. Can you go now?"

"I'm not going until you admit you have feelings for a taken guy and-"

"Blaine, honey, can you go get the door?", their mother called from the next room.

"Yes, mom!", he called back. Then, turning to Rachel, a sharpness sneaking into his voice, he added, "This never happened. I don't have feelings for him, and even if I did, you still don't get to judge me for liking a taken guy because you're doing exactly the same."

And with that he got to his feet and brushed past her and went out into the hallway. As he went down the stairs, he tried to will himself to calm down. He had called Tina and asked her to come over, because he couldn't stand to be alone, yet he couldn't stand being around anyone either.

Tina usually was the exception, because she never pressured him into talking about his issues. Whenever he was sad, she would just come over with a bunch of snacks and they would share his bed and watch sappy movies together until Blaine felt ready to spill his problems. And he always did the same for her when she was feeling down.

Rachel, thankfully, didn't come after him but returned to her own room, so he allowed himself to relax. He could hear her leaving his room and slamming her own bedroom door shut a second later.

Yes, hanging out with Tina was just what he needed to get his mind off Kurt. Maybe they could go get pizza or something.

Oh, yes, pizza with his best friend was just what he needed.

Which is why the words "I'll just get dressed and then we can go get pizza or something" was the first thing that came out of his mouth when he opened the door.

Only it wasn't Tina along with a bag of candy that greeted him, like he had expected, but a whole other someone.

Kurt.

Gorgeous, flawless Kurt with slightly wind-mussed but still painfully perfect hair and piercing blue eyes.

He could feel his eyes go wide and he didn't realize his mouth was still open until he registered the slight blush on Kurt's cheeks that had nothing to do with the chill outside, and he forced his jaw closed.

"I- uh, wow, okay. Hi."

"Hi", Kurt said softly. He shifted his feet a little and gazed down at his shoes and then back up at Blaine. He could have sworn he lost his breath right then because Kurt's eyes – especially when complimented by the blue-gray colour of his coat – were so damn gorgeous.

He looked so put together despite being out in the cold, and here Blaine was, trembling with nerves and barely able to form a proper word.

How was it even possible for him to be so completely awkward whilst Kurt was ever so graceful?

"I, um, what are you-"

It came out in stutters more than actual words, and Blaine found himself blushing. Kurt misinterpreted his awkwardness as reluctance, and he was slowly backing away from the door.

"I'm not sure, I'm sorry, I don't know what I-", he rambled out, eyes darting to the side as though contemplating whether or not he should run away.

Blaine's hand shot out on its own accord and grabbed Kurt's arm. It was loose enough so he could just brush him off if he wanted to, although Blaine prayed to whatever gods he could think of that Kurt wouldn't. "No, please, I didn't mean it like that. Do you- would you like to come in?"

Kurt froze on the spot. "I- are you sure? I don't want to just barge in and-"

"No, of course you can. It looks freezing out there", Blaine hurried to say and, realizing he was still holding onto Kurt's arm, used his grasp to pull him into the house and close the door behind him. He shuffled a little further into the hall to make room for Kurt, but Kurt didn't move any further in. He remained just a few inches away from the threshold, his gaze firmly fixated on his boots.

"So, um. What's up?", Blaine asked, his arms automatically folding across his chest.

Kurt's head snapped up and their eyes met again. He- was he scared? He definitely looked scared.

That's when it fully hit Blaine that he wasn't the only one having a rough night. The tension in him immediately dissolved and he was left with an intense urge to _protect_. He hadn't noticed it at first, but Kurt's eyes were slightly puffy and carried a light hint of redness around the edges.

Blaine's eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he tried to figure out what had happened to make Kurt turn up on his threshold at 10pm with red eyes.

Before he could ask, though, Kurt's eyes teared up and he had to clasp a hand to his mouth to keep from letting out a sob. The tears were soon spilling over, and Kurt quickly turned back to the door with a choked-off, "I'm sorry, I should go."

"N-no, please stay", Blaine stammered, rushing forwards to grab hold of him but missing with several inches. Kurt pushed the door open and disappeared into the dark. But Blaine wasn't going to give up, not now that Kurt was so clearly upset. He couldn't let him run off in that state. Who knows what kind of trouble he would end up in?

Without even bothering to put on shoes, he dashed after him, slamming the door as he went.

Kurt had only reached the end of the driveway when Blaine caught up with him.

"Kurt, please wait", he called as he was well within earshot.

Kurt must realize he wasn't getting away fast enough, so he did stop and wait for him, although he didn't turn around to look at him once they were level.

Blaine resisted the temptation to reach out and touch him again and kept his arms crossed with his hands tucked into his thin t-shirt to keep in the little warmth he could. It really was freezing outside.

They were both silent for a few seconds, and when Kurt spoke again, he had regained some of his usual calm, but only a small portion. His voice was still shaky and frail. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have come here. Can we just pretend this never happened?"

_"This never happened. I don't have feelings for him."_

Yeah, right. He was so hopelessly in love with this boy, it was actually really humiliating. What wouldn't he do to keep Kurt happy? He would do anything, no matter his personal cost.

"Why don't you just tell my why you're here, and we'll take it from there", Blaine suggested.

"I don't want to burden you", Kurt mumbled. And, a little stronger, he added, "I really shouldn't be here. I don't know why I even came."

"Look, I know Sam can be a little jealous and stuff, but you can always-"

"Sam has no right to be jealous", Kurt snapped. In the time span of five seconds his voice turned from defeated to ice cold. Blaine could see his eyes tearing up even more, and he just wanted to reach out for him, but he wasn't sure he was allowed to.

"O-okay. Why not? Did something happen?", Blaine asked slowly.

Kurt's jaw was clenched too tightly and Blaine caught himself worrying it would snap and break. He was just about to tell him so when Kurt's hand flashed up to cover his mouth again, but not before a choked-off sob escaped him.

Not a heartbeat later, Blaine had wrapped his arm around Kurt and led him back to the house. Kurt was full-out sobbing now and Blaine struggled for several moments to get them both into the house, close the door and then haul Kurt up to his room.

Kurt was too far gone now to care or try and fight, so he willingly slumped down on Blaine's bed and grabbed a pillow to cry into.

Blaine just stood by and stared, completely at a loss of what to do. Kurt was obviously one of those people that didn't cry often, but once they cried, it broke every heart in a ten mile radius.

The _sounds_ coming out of his mouth were so distorted and strange, nothing at all like his usual angelic melodies. They were heartbreaking and painful, and Blaine was sure this was the sound of everything good in the world dying.

He tried to put a comforting hand on Kurt's exposed shoulder, but when he was inches away he pulled back, as if struck by electricity. Touching was probably not a good move right now, or Kurt would just run off again.

It was just so hard standing by and not doing anything while Kurt sobbed his heart out. Blaine wanted to do something – _anything _– to stop him from making those horrible noises, anything to keep his heart from breaking like it obviously was. But he had never been good under pressure and his head was spinning so fast he thought he would pass out. He hated himself for going blank in such a vital situation like this, but he couldn't make his brain function again. The only proper thought he could produce was, _"Dehydration."_

Kurt didn't even notice him leaving the room to dash to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He got out a whole jug filled to the brim, along with a few ice cubes to cool it down, and brought it with him upstairs. What with the intense crying Kurt was busying himself with, he would need a lot of new fluids in him as to not dehydrate and get the worst headache of all time.

His mother always made Blaine drink lots of water whenever he got really sad, because she said he would get dehydrated if he didn't. It was a habit that really stuck with him, and crying was almost immediately connected to water in his mind.

He quickly stopped by his parents' bedroom on the way back – his dad was still out on his supposed-to-be quick business trip so it was just his mother there – and told her he had a friend over and that they would need their privacy because said friend was kind of upset.

Kurt chose that moment to progress from, though body-wrecking and heart-clenching, relatively quiet sobs to loud, shrill cries of agony. Blaine quickly finished explaining the situation to his mother – conveniently leaving out the part where it was the target of his undying love sobbing his heart out in his room – and then returned to his room and locked the door behind him. He didn't want Rachel bursting in on this sensitive scene.

Once he got back to his room and was face to face with the sobbing wreck of Kurt, he was once again at a loss. What could he do to make Kurt know he wasn't alone without doing something totally inappropriate that would make Kurt storm off again? Neither of them were in any shape for another chase down the street.

The question was answered for him as Kurt stuck his head up from where he had it buried in one of Blaine's pillows, only to choke out a weak "hold me".

Personally, Blaine would have categorized that as 'inappropriate ways of comfort', but since Kurt asked for it, it couldn't be _that_ inappropriate. Right?

Of course, had he thought about it rationally, he would have argued the point that Kurt was obviously distraught and hardly in a position to make sane decisions, so his opinions couldn't count for much in this situation. Maybe he would regret having any physical contact with Blaine in a few moments, and then things would get really awkward.

But Blaine was anything but rational right now, because Kurt was fighting so hard to even breathe and not choke on his tears, and he was holding out his arms for Blaine to come hold him, and he had waited _so long_ to hold Kurt, although this wasn't really the ideal situation he had imagined, and he didn't have the strength to say no. He was only a teenage boy, after all, and couldn't be expected to walk away from such an offer, especially when he finally had the ability to make Kurt feel better, if only for a few moments.

He crawled onto the bed and wrapped an arm around Kurt again, who snuggled up to his side and tucked his head into the crook of Blaine's neck, resuming his crying there. Blaine just stroked his back and tried not to cry himself, because that wouldn't do anyone any good.

But it was physically painful to see Kurt fall apart like this, shaking and sobbing like he had been holding it all in for too long, and now, in Blaine's arms, he could finally let go.

Blaine didn't allow himself to linger over those thoughts, though. The facts that tore the two of them apart remained.

Kurt was not single. He had a boyfriend, who he loved. Or liked. Or whatever. He had a boyfriend, anyway.

Blaine was the nerdy, goofy kid with the Darth Vader cardboard cut-outs taped to his wall, and Kurt was the gorgeous cheerleader everyone wanted to get with. They were never meant to be, and daring to believe Kurt could ever want him was only foolishly self-inflicted torture.

But this was still nice. Not necessarily the part where Kurt's heart was breaking, but having his never-fading crush so close he could smell his coconut shampoo and getting to run his hands over his (although clothed) back was not exactly something Blaine could complain over. It was extraordinarily amazing, despite the heart-clenching circumstances, and had it been in another setting, Blaine would surely count himself as the luckiest guy alive.

Now, however, he remained desperate to stop Kurt from sounding like a broken porcelain angel, because stabbing his heart with a knife couldn't possibly hurt more than hearing those sounds. But he couldn't do much more than clutch onto Kurt and let him clutch back, praying to whatever gods listening that Kurt would be okay again and that he wouldn't regret this night too much once he sobered up from his break down.

And in time, Kurt's sobs subsided and his body slowly lost that tension that came with intense crying, until he kind of melted into Blaine's side and just lay there. Despite the awkward angle, he still didn't move but just stayed there, and Blaine did nothing except for listening to Kurt's breathing slowly evening out.

He managed to coax a few glasses of water into Kurt but that was about it.

It didn't take long until he realized Kurt must have fallen asleep, because his breathing had become slow and deep, and his entire body-weight was now pressing into his side. Not that he felt it much anyway, because Kurt was thin as a stick.

But considering that Kurt was now asleep and even more vulnerable than before, Blaine decided he had to move. It wasn't appropriate to sleep in the same bed, so he would have to go get one of the spare mattresses from the attic. He carefully slid out from under Kurt and, supporting his body with his hands, laid him down on the bed and tucked him in under the cover.

Blaine lingered for a few seconds, just watching the other boy sleep. It was a relief to see him look so peaceful after the traumatic experience of seeing him cry so helplessly. It was hypnotizing, actually, because Kurt was so breathtakingly beautiful like this.

He finally managed to tear his eyes away from the angelic boy sleeping on his bed and leave the room, all the while pinching his arm to remind him that this wasn't just another one of his numerous dreams but that it was real and that Kurt was actually there.

Sighing, he closed the door behind him and headed up to the attic to retrieve a mattress to sleep on. He normally wouldn't give up his bed for anyone ever, as it was one of his safety places, but Kurt was probably the only exception. Blaine would give up anything for him, and well, he would get to sleep in that bed later too, knowing Kurt Hummel had slept there as well. And that wasn't too bad.

He tried to hang onto that thought as he climbed the ladder to the attic, spiders falling into his hair and sticky spiderwebs clinging to his hands, the edges of boxes containing long since forgotten toys cutting into his legs as he waded through piles of pointless garbage only to remember that the stupid mattress was actually in Rachel's room ever since her last sleepover with a couple of friends.

In his urgency to get the hell out of there he bumped his head on a log holding up the roof and, as he went back to the hole in the floor to climb down the ladder again, another bunch of spiders scurried across the ladder right next to his fingers. He involuntarily yelped in fright and almost fell to the floor as he yanked his hand away.

He really hated spiders – loathed them even – which was really saying something because he was not one to use such words as 'hate' lightly. Spiders were one of few things he right-out hated. Among those things were for example prejudice and well, himself, but that is not really relevant.

As he walked back to his room and saw Kurt still fast asleep, tucked safely under the covers with his mouth only slightly open, he realized that he needed to add another thing to his list of things that qualified as hate objects. Sam Evans.


	20. Chapter 20

** A/N: Okay, so I've got two reviews now wondering about the whole two dads/one dad one mother situation I got going on in Blaine's family, so I thought I'd repeat myself: ****Blaine has one mother and one father.**** I changed it a few chapters in because it fit the plotline I had planned, and I'm too lazy to change the first chapters. I'll change it if I get time, and in the meantime, remember: ****The Berry-Anderson parents are one woman and one man.**

**Also, I just started school again so I'm really busy and won't have as much time to write as I had during the summer. I'll do my best though. Don't hate me.**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

Kurt awoke several hours later to a faint clicking sound somewhere in the distance. He lay still for a while, trying to figure out just what was making that annoying sound, but then it stopped abruptly, and he decided he had just imagined it. He tried to fall back asleep but a firm throbbing sensation in his temple made that quite impossible. He slowly stretched out his legs and arms, rolling his shoulders back and flexing his back upwards like a cat, the delicious strain on his tense muscles eliciting a soft almost-purr out of him.

His eyes were still closed, his mind caught in between a _very_ pleasant dream and reality, and he kept them shut in a useless attempt to ward off reality for another few seconds. He wasn't ready to face reality just yet. The only thing waiting for him there was the ex-boyfriend, the ex-friend who cheated with said ex-boyfriend and just a whole bunch of screwed up _mess_.

He wasn't sure he could remain friends with Sam after what had happened, but they would still have to try due to them both being in Glee club.

Him and Quinn would probably find their way back to each other, too, although he was certainly planning on avoiding her for a while to let things cool down a little. He was still very hurt that she had done something so horrible to him, especially since she very well knew how badly it hurt being cheated on.

Although, as his darker sides liked to remind him, maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Wasn't that what Cheerios usually did, after all? Stabbing each other in the back as soon as someone turned around.

According to Sam, it hadn't even been a one-time-thing, but more of a secret relationship, which kind of made the thing worse.

It was all so very humiliating. How could he possibly go back to school and face everyone?

There would be so much pity, so many "oh, honey, how are you handling things?". He wouldn't be able to stand it.

Kurt wasn't upset that he and Sam were over.

Alright, so he wasn't thrilled about the idea, but it wasn't the reason he felt sick to his stomach just thinking about the other night. No, the problem was more a matter of _how _things had ended. What with Sam cheating on him with one of his best friends and everything, Sam had been the one in control of the break-up.

And then the whole "if you weren't such a prude I would never have cheated on you"-explanation had been another low blow that made the whole thing hurt a lot more than it would have otherwise.

He liked Sam to some extent, yes, but there had never been a real spark between them. He had mostly just been excited that someone – _anyone_ – finally wanted him, and he was too quick in jumping into a relationship with a guy he hardly knew or cared for, he knew that, but he had been naïve and stupid. Now, however, he was seeing things more clearly. He finally saw how he had tailored himself to fit Sam and suppressed his own interests to make sure Sam was happy enough not to abandon him, and neglected most of his friends in the process.

He didn't have much time for them, because Sam had demanded him being available at almost all times. He and Sam had never been a good idea, and finally being rid of him truly was a blessing in disguise.

No, he wasn't really missing out on anything, but the problems of the break-up remained. And he would be lying if he said he wasn't upset and sad from the break-up, because no matter how well-needed it was, it was still a big change and it was bound to be hard.

But he wouldn't be able to mourn in peace, no, because surely by now everyone knew about the cheating disaster. It was the downside of going to a school where other people's love lives were usually among the top gossips. And this was a juice one, too. For _months _he would have to face pitiful friends expecting him to be completely ruined by that bastard; he would be forced to ignore scorching remarks from Sam's friends and he would have to work ten times harder to maintain his social status at the school.

If he both lost his hot boyfriend and got kicked off the Cheerios – well, then he would be right back to where he was a year ago. At the very bottom. He would be back to dealing with shoves, locker tosses, slushie facials and nasty remarks every day. He would-

Without a single warning, he was thrown headfirst into a waken state by a loud _bang_.

His eyes snapped open and, without any real consent from his brain, his body jerked upright and he found himself staring at a door slammed wide open, a very angry looking Rachel standing in the doorway. She was wearing a pink fluffy bathrobe with yellow rabbit patterns, matched with the ugliest pair of flippers he had ever seen. Her hair was- well, it was undescribable, to say the least.

"What on _earth_ do you think you're doing? I'm trying to sleep here, for god's sake; do you _know_ what happens when I don't get my sleep? My voice _dies_, B, do you realize that? You are _murdering_ my voice", she exclaimed with her usually over-dramatic tone of voice. Her hands were clasped to her supposed-to-be destroyed throat, and her eyes widened almost comically.

_What a nice touch to an otherwise perfectly delivered speech_, Kurt found himself thinking.

…and then it hit him.

If Rachel Berry-Anderson was barging in on him sleeping, then he couldn't possibly be home. Unless this was another twisted dream, and she was for some unspoken reason at his home. In his bedroom. Yelling at him.

She seemed to notice him right about then, too, and her eyes widened even more.

She put her hands firmly on her hips, and she looked frightfully much like she did whenever she was about to give a lecture in Glee about how everyone was useless and replaceable but her.

"Care to tell me what _he_ is doing in your bed, little bro?", she grit out.

_'Little bro'?, _he thought. _What was she-_

Oh. _Oh_.

His head turned so quickly he swore he could hear his neck cracking, but he couldn't help himself.

As expected, when he peered over the edge of the – rather big – bed, he saw a head of untamed curls that gleamed with worn-off but not properly washed out gel.

"Oh my g-"

With a gasp he clasped both hands to his mouth, trying to hold in any more potential noises that might escape him.

Blaine awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, peering up at his sister from where he lay at the floor, covered by a fluffy pink blanket.

Honestly, did the guy have no limits?

And why did Blaine have to look painfully adorable under that blanket, whilst Kurt just wanted to strangle Rachel for her sinful bathrobe, when it was actually the very same colour and material as Blaine's blanket?

Maybe it was just Blaine's fate to look good in exactly everything.

"I, uh, well- Kurt was having some, uh, issues. So I let him crash here", Kurt heard him say, his voice gravelly and unclear, probably due to sleep.

Kurt sat up a little straighter and pulled the covers up to wrap around his chest, only to realize he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday. He couldn't help but groan at the realization; they were ruined now. His beloved shirt was all wrinkled and _slept in_, and oh dear lord, he hadn't even performed his daily moisturizing routines. He must look absolutely horrible.

He was, however, glad to still be wearing clothes. He wasn't sure he could live with the thought that Blaine had undressed him.

He didn't realize that the siblings' conversation had went on during his little fashion freak-out, and Rachel was now midway through a "does our parents know"-speech.

"I told mom a friend was staying over and she's fine with it, okay? It's none of your business anyway, Rach", Blaine bit back, sitting up straight as well.

Blaine, on the other hand, was shirtless, and Kurt didn't realize he was staring until he accidentally caught Rachel's eye and he finally came to his senses. But wow, Blaine looked _good_. He forced himself to tear his eyes away and instead tried to focus on the words being exchanged between the other two.

"-dad would go _crazy _if he knew you had a boy in your room-"

"-well maybe I don't care what _dad_ thinks, he doesn't have any right-"

"-you're just jealous that I have a better relationship with him! I don't understand why you have to-"

"-well _of course_ perfect little Rachel goes running to daddy when her nasty brother is being mean! You are _so_-"

Kurt quickly gave up listening in, and instead crawled out from beneath the covers and snuck out the door. He needed to find a bathroom, and even if he didn't have any of his usual things, he needed to wash his face and do a damage check on his skin and hair. Neither sibling seemed to notice him leaving, and he soon found himself creeping through the hallways on a bathroom quest. He didn't get far, though, before he heard muffled steps behind him, and suddenly he had Blaine and all that he was by his side.

"God, Kurt, I'm _so _sorry, I know you must be freaking out and I know this is the last place you'd want to wake up at but you were just so upset last night, and I didn't think it was smart to let you wander off on your own. I really hope you don't hate me for this. I just tried to do the right thing, but now I'm not sure I did-", Blaine rambled on, his voice too loud for this early in the morning.

Or was it even morning? Kurt wasn't sure. He didn't really know where his phone was.

He instinctively reached out to take hold of Blaine's arm. Blaine's naked, casually I-was-just-in-bed-warm arm with lots of exposed skin. Wow.

Okay, wow, it was amazing how one person's arm could be so distracting. Kurt's mind immediately went blank and he kind of lost the ability to speak. Or think. Or do anything at all, really.

Soon he forced himself to raise his eyes, though, only to find Blaine staring at him with the most sincerely worried eyes Kurt had ever seen.

"I, uh, sorry. What were you saying?", Kurt asked, gingerly raising his hands to rub his eyes. They felt sore and somewhat numbed.

Oh, right. He had been doing some pretty intense crying last night.

Blaine took a deep breath, as though steeling himself for what he was about to say.

"I just said that I'm really sorry for last night, I didn't know what else to do so I let you sleep here, I hope you're not upset-"

Kurt bit his lip, nervously rolling it in between his teeth. "Don't you think I'm the one who is supposed to apologize? I'm the one who showed up on your doorstep crying."

Blaine's eyes widened, and he looked down at Kurt's hand on his arm. Kurt instantly pulled back.

Blaine looked back up, eyeing him carefully. He smiled somewhat. "Well, yeah, I guess. I'm used to being the one to apologize, though."

Kurt looked him straight in the eye for several seconds. When Blaine didn't look away either, he eventually forced himself to do so.

"You really shouldn't apologize for things that aren't your fault, though", he said sincerily. "I'm the one who should feel bad for just barging in on you like that. It was really rude, and I'm sorry."

Blaine just shook his head. "No, it's fine. I- um. It's fine. You can always come to me to, uh, talk. If you're sad", Blaine mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck slowly.

His slightly inaccurate speech made Kurt's eyes mist over annoyingly quickly. He had to blink away a few tears and make sure to wait a few seconds before speaking in fear of his voice cracking. "Thank you."

And then Blaine's eyes got that adorably happy spark again that immediately disarmed Kurt of any doubt he had left that he was supposed to be anywhere else than with Blaine. Only that instead of calming him, it made him tense up even more once Blaine's eyes turned away from his and he could breathe and think properly again.

He wasn't supposed to feel like that, like everything would be fine as long as Blaine was with him.

He and Sam broke up only yesterday. He couldn't already be into other people. And even if he was ready to move on, Blaine was the last person he would choose to do so with.

But, as little as he wanted to admit it, Blaine had already crept under his skin. The least he could do was stay away, and not encourage him to dig deeper.

"If I can just borrow your bathroom for a second, I'll be out of here in ten minutes", Kurt said quietly.

Oh, god. Blaine totally looked like a kicked puppy and, to Kurt's utter horror, his heart did this painful clenching thingy and he had a hollowing feeling it was because of those damned puppy eyes.

"Unless, um- unless I could stay for a little while", he added slowly.

Blaine hesitated. "I, uh- well. I'm not sure. My dad is- well, uh, not really, um, used to me having other boys over, um, but-"

"It's fine", Kurt said hollowly. He looked away from Blaine's hypnotizing eyes and let his eyes rake across the hall instead, trying to find a door that looked to be a bathroom entrance.

Blaine obviously didn't want him there, or he would have come up with a better excuse than his dad's disapproval. It was best to just get out of there as soon as possible, and get back home to deal with the consequences. He would have to tell his dad why he had been gone all night, and he would probably be grounded for weeks.

Blaine must have sensed his sudden tenseness, because he quickly continued, "But we're just friends, so it shouldn't be a problem." After a moment, he added, "We're barely friends, actually."

Kurt was, once again, filled with self-hate as his heart did than painful clenching thing again. 'Barely friends'. He shouldn't care what Blaine thought, he really shouldn't. He had no reason to.

"I can't decide for you, but I consider you my friend", Kurt said quietly, despite his brain screaming at him for doing so.

"You do?"

"We may not know each other that well, but I don't go cry on just anyone's shoulder", Kurt said, looking him straight in the eye.

There was a tense silence that stretched out over several seconds, during which Kurt was certain his heart would explode because it kept beating faster and faster and _did Blaine's eyes always glow like that?_

"You said something about using the bathroom", Blaine said suddenly.

Kurt was yanked out of his thoughts, and forced himself to nod. "Um, yes, if you don't mind. I'm behind on my skin routine."

Blaine suddenly got that meaningful-realization-look in his eyes, and he nodded slowly. "Right. Perfect skin like that takes time, of course. I sort of figured you were just born that way, like Snow White", he said.

"'Perfect skin'?", Kurt repeated softly.

It might not have been the reaction Kurt was hoping for – not that he knew exactly what he was hoping for – but Blaine just stuttered something incoherently and then set off down the hall without another word.

He pushed open a door to the left and gestured Kurt inside. Completely ignoring the previous conversation, he went inside and opened cabinets and popped open the shower door, saying, "Here are towels if you want to shower and you can get a fresh toothbrush in here", he opened another cabinet and took out a sky blue plastic toothbrush and put it on the sink, "and you can use my toothpaste over there. If you do shower, remember to test the temperature before you get in because it can be a little tricky to adjust it and if it's too hot or too cold you can just tell me and I'll come fix it for you. Hmm, anything else-", he scratched his chin absentmindedly as he glanced around the room. "Oh, do you need anything for the whole skin moisturizing thing?"

Kurt stood rooted at the threshold, carefully gazing around the bathroom.

He still didn't really understand why Blaine was always so nice to him, considering all the things Kurt had done to him. Or more specifically, things people had done to him _because of _Kurt.

"It's okay to come in, you know", Blaine said suddenly.

He must have stood still for too long.

Kurt finally stepped inside, and accepted the soft, fluffy towel Blaine offered him.

Was everything Blaine owned either fluffy or pink? Probably.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything", Blaine said, and was just about to leave when Kurt instinctively reached out to grab his arm.

"Would you- could you-"

His throat choked up and his voice got cut off before he could say anything remotely coherent. Maybe the break-up was harder on him than he had thought, because the thought of being alone for even a few minutes made him ache all over.

"Um, what?", Blaine asked nervously.

Kurt glanced at him just as nervously. He wasn't sure what it was, if it was a genuine reluctance to part from Blaine, a post break-up thing or if he was just uncomfortable being by himself in another's home.

He hoped for the latter, but secretly believed it to be a combination between the first two.

"I-"

"What, Kurt?", Blaine asked, his voice dripping with anxiousness. His hand found Kurt's and gripped it tightly, though none of them really noticed the movement. It felt easy and comfortable, despite the fact that they hadn't really done it before. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Could you- could you, maybe, stay?", Kurt mumbled.

Blaine released his hand for a fraction of a second, his eyes going wide again, but then he resumed his hold on his hand and he seemed to calm down again.

"Y-yeah, okay. But, uh, isn't that weird?", he asked nervously. Kurt caught him glancing towards the shower, and he had to laugh because yes, that would be weird.

"I don't have to shower, really", he told him. "I just really need to make sure my hair isn't completely ruined, and wash my face a little."

"Your hair looks great", Blaine blurted out.

Kurt turned to glance in the mirror, and no, it didn't.

"Thank you, but no", he said, and tried to smile.

Blaine went to sit at the edge of the bathtub, and Kurt went straight to the mirror above the sink. He put the clean towel on the sink and took a few minutes to splash water in his face and, without even needing to ask for it, he turned to find Blaine picking out a few moisturizing creams that he could use. And although none of them were up to his usual standard, they would have to do.

Besides, he couldn't help but feel very flattered that Blaine would do this and make sure he got what he needed. He asked a few questions about his whole morning and night-schedule, and soon Kurt found himself going into details about his different home remedies, things he had tried in his hair to make it softer, and at one point he actually asked Blaine to feel it.

And it wasn't until Blaine was right next to him, his breath hitting him straight in the face as he tentatively curled a lock of Kurt's hair around his finger, grinning at the softness of it, that Kurt fully realized that Blaine was still not wearing a damn shirt. And once he realized that, it was _really _hard to un-see it. He had already seen him shirtless once, and that image had been very hard to get out of his mind, and now he was actually within touching distance of that gorgeous, tanned chest and-

Okay, well, this was certainly crossing every boundary possible.

Why did Blaine even look that good? All he did was read and study. Was he just born like that?

And what was this thing where he constantly managed to come across Blaine shirtless?

It had happened twice so far, alright, but it was still too many times to be entirely consequential.

Thankfully, Blaine stepped back to sit on the bathtub, and Kurt could inhale some oxygen once there was some proper distance between them.

"So, you do realize we have school in two hours?", Blaine said suddenly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence, during which Kurt tugged his hand back and forth to try and shape it in an okay-looking fashion, whilst Blaine mostly watched him and, judging by the look on his face, tried to figure something out. Kurt tried not to look at him, though, because it was much too distracting.

The idea of going back to school already made Kurt spin around, his eyes blown wide. "Oh _no_."

Blaine crossed his legs, but remained seated, his eyes trained on Kurt's face. "I know it's not my place to ask, but could you perhaps tell me what happened last night? I mean, maybe I could help."

Kurt shook his head and turned back to face the mirror, going back to shaping his hair without putting much heart into it. It was mostly just busywork to keep his hands occupied and his gaze fixed as to not drift away to Blaine's distracting face.

"I would rather not talk about it."

Despite not actually seeing it, he could _feel_ Blaine's concerned eyes burning into him.

"Are you sure? Maybe it would feel better to let it out", he said carefully.

"I doubt it", Kurt muttered.

The mere thought of going back to school and face all those people was just painful. All he wanted was to crawl back into bed and lie there all day, far away from Sam and all their friends and all the _pressure._

He didn't want to go around and pretend like he was okay, because he wasn't. Far from it. But he couldn't exactly go to school like the wreck he was now, either, because then he would surely get kicked off the Cheerio squad and he would be done for. He didn't think he could stand going back to his old life with slushies and mean remarks every day.

Perhaps...

Perhaps it would actually feel better to tell someone about it, and who better to be weak in front of than Blaine, who didn't have any power to dethrone him from his social status. And Blaine had already seen him at his weakest, so he couldn't really do much more damage by telling him about what had happened.

"Sam and I had a fight."

He could hear the sharp intake of breath behind him, but forced himself not to turn around.

"Oh", came Blaine's soft voice. "About what?"

Kurt gave a casual shrug, although he was sure Blaine could see right through it. "He slept with someone else."

The silence that followed those five words was almos suffocating. Kurt froze in his movements, one hand still in his hair and the other clasping the edge of the sink tightly, as he waited for Blaine to just say something.

It felt like an eternity before Blaine spoke.

"Did you break up?"

"I don't know", Kurt admitted. He put the supplies down on the sink and went to sit next to Blaine. "I guess we did. He says he has feelings for us both, but if he really liked me he wouldn't have slept with her in the first place, so I think it's over."

Blaine nodded seriously. "I hope so. He doesn't deserve you."

"Maybe not", Kurt mumbled, fiddling with his hands in his lap. "Sometimes I think it's the other way around."

"Hey", Blaine said, firmly but gently, forcing Kurt to look at him by angling his face towards him with the tips of his fingers. "You deserve better than some guy who cheats on you. You shouldn't settle for him."

Kurt cursed himself for tearing up, but Blaine was so genuinely sweet, he couldn't help but melt from his words. But his mind soon sobered up and his walls were put back up, and he instead realized the dangerous situation he had put himself in.

Having Blaine on such short distance – shirtless – probably wasn't such a good idea. The last thing he needed after this disaster was rumours flouting around school that he and Blaine were a thing. They weren't, and could never be, and he refused to give his peers the satisfaction of knowing his weakness for the gelled-down boy with the bowties. No, he had to keep the little pride he had left.

He jumped to his feet and crossed to the sink, picked up a comb and went to work on his hair again. He only barely restrained himself from gazing at Blaine through the mirror, but he could still feel his eyes burning into his neck.

Once he finished his hair and done some damage repair on his face, there was nothing else to be done.

"I'm not going back to school today", he said firmly, while helping Blaine stack away the creams and supplies again. "I'll just get my things and I'll be on my way."

"Unless..."

Kurt turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised. "Unless what?"

"Unless you want to stick around", Blaine said quietly, not really meeting Kurt's eye. "I could skip school, too."

"Really? You, every teacher's pet, would skip school to hang out with the loser who just got dumped? What about your perfect grades?", Kurt asked, and it came out a lot harder than intended.

Blaine flushed with colour and, whether it was conscious or not, he backed away a little from Kurt. "I'm not a teacher's pet."

He sounded so small and vulnerable, and Kurt was just about to give in to his adorableness when his mind stopped him.

Blaine was dangerous to him. It was dangerous that one look from him could make Kurt want to throw away his whole life, just so he could look into those hazel eyes one more second.

It wouldn't do him any good, staying friends with Blaine. They should sever the ties, he knew that. It was best for them both. Sam and his friends would go after whoever he chose to date now, and he really didn't want Blaine to suffer more than he already had.

"I'm sorry", he said finally. "I should go."

"I know you think I'm just the nerdy guy in class that you would never talk to in a million years, but I'm more than that", Blaine said fiercely, shocking Kurt with the sudden harshness of his tone. "I'm not a box. There are more than four sides to me. And if you weren't so ridiculously proud, you would see that, and you would see that I'm trying to help you. I _want_ to help you. And unlike some of your others 'friends'", he did the quotation marks with such fierceness that Kurt flinched, "my friendship doesn't rely on whether or not you're on the cheerleading squad."

The fact that Blaine actually screamed at him – well, he didn't _scream_, but he raised his voice decidedly more than usual – was something of a wake up call.

He was right, of course. He shouldn't be so quick to judge Blaine, especially since Blaine was one of few people who didn't seem to judge _him_.

It would have been easy for him to shut the door in the dumped cheerleader's face last night when he had turned up on his doorstep crying – but Blaine, the good person that he was, took him in and let him sleep in his bed, even though he just as easily could have turned him away. He didn't owe Kurt anything, and he didn't do it to try and boost his own social status with Kurt's – he just did it because that was the kind of person he was.

And how did Kurt repay him? With a snarky remark about his dedecation to his schoolwork.

"I'm sorry", he said, and he hoped the sincerity of the apology shone through. "I shouldn't have been so quick to judge."

"Are you actually sorry, or is it just something you say?", Blaine asked. His voice was almost back to normal now, but Kurt could still sense a slight edge in it.

Normally he would be offended that someone questioned his honesty, but Blaine had every reason to do so, so he barely reacted. "I really am sorry."

Blaine nodded. "Okay. Apology accepted."

"Really?"

"Yeah. That's what friends do, right?"

Kurt smiled weakly. "Right. Friends."

"So", Blaine said, a smile slowly returning to his lips. "Are you staying, or should we go pack your stuff?"

Kurt looked down at his feet and shifted his weight a little. "I, uh- I'd like to stay, if that's okay."

"Of course."

Blaine smiled softly at him, and Kurt felt that now familiar tingle in his skin that he got whenever Blaine looked at him. So much for staying away.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Wow okay, so this fic has actually reached over a 100 reviews now, which is a first for me and any of my fics. I'm still shocked this has readers at all! Thank you all so much! xxxx**

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_[Blaine's POV]_

"Are you sure you're okay with skipping school?", Kurt asked, for what had to be the sixth time in the past thirty minutes. "I don't want to screw up your life, too. I've done enough damage as it is."

"I told you I'm fine with it."

"Are you _sure_? Because-"

"Look", Blaine sighed, flattening out his hair with his palm. "This isn't some huge sacrifice I'm making. I've skipped class before, it's not a big deal. You don't have to feel guilty."

Kurt quirked a questioning eyebrow. "Really? You've skipped class?"

Blaine's eyes narrowed quickly. "I have. Now what was that you said earlier about not being so quick to judge me?"

Kurt put his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, you are right. I won't judge."

Blaine rolled his eyes, but didn't press it further. "So now that we have established that we are not going to school, what do you propose we do instead?"

Kurt shrugged, and looked around Blaine's bedroom, where he was now once again seated on the bed.

Blaine was sitting on the floor, fiddling with the hem of his covers.

"I'm not sure", Kurt admitted. "What do you feel like doing?"

Blaine shrugged, too. He glanced up at Kurt, and said, "I guess going out is not an option, because then we would be seen together and that would be bad." He could tell Kurt was about to interrupt, but he wouldn't let him, because they both knew it was true. The two of them being seen together would be bad for Kurt's reputation, and however self-destructive that made Blaine, he didn't want to do anything that might hurt Kurt, even if he would end up hurting himself instead. "We could start simple, with breakfast or something."

Kurt must have recognized his unwillingness to let him speak up, so he only nodded and got up from the bed.

"What about Rachel?", he asked then, hesitantly glancing Blaine's way.

"What about her?", he asked, and strolled over to his closet to pick out an outfit for the day.

Kurt was already dressed and well; although, when he thought about it, those were yesterday's clothes. Maybe Kurt would like to change, too.

"Would you like a shirt and a pair of jeans, or something?", he asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure if Kurt would be relieved to get out of his used clothes, or if he would be offended that Blaine believed he would wear anything less than Prada.

"If you have anything that fit", Kurt said, smiling somewhat.

Blaine took that as a yes, and set out to find something for him first. He ended up with a navy blue sweater that was a little too big for himself – he felt too embarrassed to ask for Kurt's measurements, and had to estimate the fit by eye – and a pair of jeans that had been too big when he bought them, and he hadn't bothered to return them.

Kurt was gracious when accepting them, and didn't even comment on how out of style they were.

"The sweater is actually kind of trendy right now", he said after a while, though, which made Blaine smile.

"I know it's not the latest Marc Jacobs or anything, but I hope it'll do", he said, and turned back to find something for himself while Kurt changed.

"You know about Marc Jacobs?", Kurt's soft voice came from behind him.

Blaine's face flushed with colour, and he was thankful he had his back to Kurt, because no, he hadn't known about Marc Jacobs until he heard Kurt mention it one day in the McKinley hallway, and he had decided to look it up on the internet.

Marc Jacobs made some great clothes, and he had been something of a fan ever since, but he wasn't too keen on admitting to _why_ he had initially found an interest in the designer.

He settled for a somewhat dried out, "Yeah, I think he's really talented."

Kurt didn't push it, and they both fell silent again as Blaine shuffled through the closet to find something for himself to wear.

He was somehow secretly glad Kurt didn't feel the need to go change in the bathroom but felt comfortable enough to do so in the same room as Blaine. Not that Blaine _looked_ or anything, he was just glad they – for some reason – had that trust for each other and didn't need to hide.

Refocusing on his wardrobe, he picked out a simple black t-shirt and a pair of red slacks for himself. It was nothing too fancy or eye-catching, but it was sufficient enough for a day spent inside. Had it been a normal day he would have worn a pyjamas or something tacky but comfortable, but what with Kurt being there and all, he felt he had to look at least somewhat presentable.

Kurt Hummel was nothing if not picky with fashion, after all, and Blaine did want to impress him.

When he turned around, fingers still working on the buttons to his shirt, he immediately set eyes on Kurt's form, gracefully seated on the edge of his bed, one leg over the other, dressed in Blaine's clothes.

Blaine had never had a proper boyfriend of his own, so he couldn't really tell, but the way Kurt looked in his clothes; well, he believed that was the feeling that those boyfriends in the movies got when their girlfriends put on their t-shirts after a sleepover. It was strange, how his stomach was suddenly filled with fluttering butterflies, and it was all because _Kurt _was wearing _Blaine's_ _clothes_. He had never thought it could be such a special feeling to share things with another person like that, but it totally was. Even though they weren't technically in a relationship, and Kurt didn't like him at all, really.

It was all very silly, he knew that, but god, he would be lying if it wasn't totally hot, and also the most romantic thing he had ever experienced. Not that he had much to compare with, and not that this even _was _romantic. Or at least it wasn't supposed to be.

Their friendship – or whatever the hell it was they had – was platonic at best. Sure, Blaine was madly in love with him and he would like nothing more than to share his entire world with him, but Kurt didn't feel the same way. He fell for cocky jocks with lemon-dyed hair; not hobbit-sized Harry Potter-fans who stayed in on Friday nights to read.

He shook his head to try and clear out those rather depressing thoughts, and replaced them by focusing extra hard on buttoning his shirt all the way up to his neck. Kurt watched him intently, and despite having on more clothes than up to recently, he suddenly felt very naked and exposed.

Kurt's eyes just did things to him, and he had no ways of protection against his magic stare.

"Breakfast?", he chirped out, in a voice that came out too high-pitched and unsure. He wanted to punch himself.

"Sounds perfect", Kurt agreed and lifted himself up off the bed.

Blaine had just put the hand on the doorhandle when he remembered something, and turned around so abruptly Kurt almost crashed into him. "What were you saying about Rachel earlier?"

"Oh", Kurt said, slightly caught off-guard. "I just- um. I was wondering, if she's going to school, and she saw me here-"

Blaine's heart dropped to his stomach. He could pretend all he wanted; when there was just the two of them, Kurt was this sweet and beautiful boy that, although he was generally way out of Blaine's league, came to Blaine of all people for support, and who was so excited to listen to Blaine's war stories from the times he's camped out outside of book stores, movie theateres and arenas to buy the latest Harry Potter book or get a good seat at the premiere of a movie or at a concert. Those conversations were especially precious to Blaine, because it really felt like Kurt _understood _him. He even said he and his mother had camped out for the Harry Potter books, too, when he was younger, but that habit had disappeared when she died.

But there was another side to him, too, the one that was the most prominent; he was a Cheerio, and his reputation would always come first. If being seen with Blaine would wreck his social status, then he would do anything to make sure they weren't seen.

They might be friends, but only in the dark. And the pathetic thing was that Blaine wanted all of Kurt, _everything_, but he would still settle for his shadow, if that was what he was being offered. He wouldn't out their friendship, or demand they go out to coffee together. He wouldn't even mention how small and insecure it made him feel that Kurt was so ashamed of him. Because no matter what, he wanted Kurt to be happy, and he was used to making himself unhappy to achieve that goal.

"Don't worry about it", he said therefore, trying to keep the hollowness out of his voice. "I'll go talk to her and tell her not to mention seeing you to anybody."

No matter how much he tried to hide it, Kurt must have seen the hurt look in his eyes, and he tried to say something, but Blaine shut him up by simply exiting the room and leaving him behind.

Rachel was still in her room, fixing her hair in her mirror, so that's where he went. He didn't bother to close the door behind him.

"Rachel", he said, a litle louder to get her attention. Once he had it, he lowered his voice. "You can't tell anyone you saw Kurt here today."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Why? Is he ashamed he has fallen for one of the hobbits?"

"He hasn't fallen for anyone", Blaine snapped, cheeks burning red. "He needs a day off to cope with- uh, recent events. Anyway, can you please not turn this into some gossip you use to buy the love of the Glee club?"

"I don't buy love with gossip!", she shrieked, her hairbrush falling out of her hand and landing on the table. "People love me because I am a star and-"

"Rachel, please", he begged, and her mouth fell open at his desperate tone. "I don't want to argue, I just really need you to keep this quiet, okay? Nothing is going on between us so you don't have to lie, really, just don't bring it up."

"And why are you saying this and not him?", she asked once she had regained her composure.

"He-"

"Blaine", she sighed, and patted the seat next to her. He reluctantly sat down next to her, and let her run her fingers over his hair. He had put some gel into it, of course, but it was definitely not up to his normal standards and he was feeling vulnerable. "I don't get why you just let him use you like this. If you're really friends, then why can't people know it? Is that what you want? A friend who pretends to hate you all day long and then at night you can send each other friendly texts or something? Who knows, maybe his day-act is his real self, and the guy you're with now is just a mask."

"He's not using me", Blaine mumbled.

"How can you tell? He only ever speak to you when he needs something. Like yesterday. He wanted someone to hold him and tell him everything would be fine, and instead of going to his real friends, he chose the nobody-"

"Wow, thank you, Rach."

"-that he knew would never tell his secrets to anyone. He's _using _you, Blaine, and I-"

"He's not using me", he repeated, with more force this time. And then, feeling himself crumble, he continued, with a thick coat of desperation in his voice, "And what if he is? We all know I'm not good enough for anyone anyway, so why not let him play me if it could make me somewhat happy for a while?"

"But you _are_ good enough! You're amazing, and if he doesn't see that then he doesn't deserve you! You shouldn't let him have his fun and then dump you as soon as a hot jock comes his way. It's not fair to you, Blaine."

"And it's fair of you to have Finn over here all the time when he's in a relationship? I know you invite him over to sing your ballads but I also know you have a secret agenda, and that's not fair to either of you. He's with Quinn, Rachel, and I'm sorry but you're letting him play you more than Kurt plays me. He's going through a rough patch right now, but Finn- he has no excuse."

Rachel's eyes lost their spark, and she stared down at her hands. "I know. You're right. But I love him, Blaine, I don't want to let him go. I _can't_."

He smiled sadly at her, and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"Well, my dear sister, I can certainly relate to that", he said. "But sometimes you have to let go of the people you love for their own best."

She closed her eyes and nodded. "I guess you're right. But it hurts so much, how can you stand it?"

He smiled grimly. "Well, I'm not exactly following my own advice, am I? But I will, I promise. As soon as he feels better."

She gave him a sad smile. "Please, just be careful."

"Same", he said with the hint of a smile, and then she pressed a kiss to his cheek, too.

"And I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"Thanks", he said, and got to his feet. "Have fun at school."

And then he went over to the wide-open door and walked back to his room.

Only he didn't make it that far.

Once he stepped over the small threshold and turned left, he walked into Kurt.

Kurt's cheek burned brightly in contrast to his otherwise ivory pale skin, and Blaine could actually feel all his internal organs - and his oh-so-precious heart - dropping to his feet. The look in Kurt's eyes told him more than a thousand words ever could have.

He had heard everything.


	22. Chapter 22

_[Kurt's POV]_

Kurt was standing outside of Rachel's room with his back pressed against the wall, his ears strained to hear as much as humanly possible of the conversation taking place within the room. He was inches away from the open door, but not close enough to be seen.

He felt bad for eavesdropping, he really did, but he needed to know what the siblings were saying about him. Maybe they were plotting how to best use this new information to humiliate him publicly.

_"And why are you saying this and not him?"_

Despite being out of sight, Kurt tried to make himself smaller and less visible, as if hoping it would keep the shame at bay. Rachel was right; it was cowardly of him to ask Blaine to speak for him. He was old enough to voice his own opinions, wasn't he?

At least he thought he was. He had obviously been fooling himself.

What was he even doing? Did he really want to know what Blaine was saying about him? What if he said something really horrible and then Kurt had to pretend not to have heard him? Things could get really awkward.

And what if it _was_ just an act, Blaine's whole compassionate side, and he was really just trying to get the upperhand so he could dethrone Kurt and take his place in the Cheerios and-

He was almost backing away from the door, intending to grab his things and leave the house as quickly as possible, when Blaine's voice reached his ears. It was firm, yet somehow lacking of certainty. As if he was trying to convince himself more than Rachel.

_"He's not using me."_

Kurt froze on the spot, rooted to the floor in the midst of his escape. The words rang through the air and seeped through his very skin, nestling and itching uncomfortably.

Blaine was actually _defending_ him, not complaining or saying bad things behind his back as Kurt had expected.

Once again he had to remind himself why; Blaine was a genuinely nice person who saw the good in people, whilst Kurt was a gossiping cheerleader who did anything to get to the top.

If anyone would be saying things about someones back and plotting to humiliate them, it would be Kurt; not Blaine. Never Blaine.

_"And what if he is? We all know I'm not good enough for anyone anyway, so why not let him play me if-"_

Kurt actually slammed his hands over his ears at that point, desperately trying to block out Blaine's cracked voice, but it was too late. He had heard it, and he could never unhear it now.

He sounded so _hopeless,_ so defeated, like he was used to people walking all over him, taking what they wanted only to throw him away again once they got it. It hurt to think he was actually subjected to this treatment pretty much all the time.

Was that what Blaine thought this whole thing was? A game? Did he think Kurt would just waltz into his house in the middle of the night, cry himself to sleep in his arms and then abandon him the day after, only to never speak to him again?

The sad part was that, however much Kurt hated it, he knew that it was exactly like that this thing would play out in the end. He was going to break this poor boy's heart and never look back on it. And Blaine knew all of this; yet he still let Kurt stay – actually _asked_ him to stay – and comforted him through his pain.

Almost doubling over with disgust for himself, Kurt realized that they were actually right; he was playing Blaine. Hanging around Blaine's house, depending on him to comfort him and make him feel good without giving anything back, and as soon as he was ready to go back to school, he wouldn't address him publicly or acknowledge his existence, whether it was in school or anywhere else where people who mattered might see them.

He really loathed himself, and he had every reason to do so.

And Blaine – sweet, generous Blaine with the golden heart – just selflessly accepted that Kurt was only hours away from discarding him again, like a worn-out toy he couldn't bother to keep around anymore.

And it was so painful to know that Blaine cared about him so much that he would put up with Kurt's horrible behavior and selfish demands, no matter how badly it would end up hurting him in the end, just to be able to make sure that Kurt would be okay.

Kurt wasn't the one who needed protection. Blaine needed to be saved – from Kurt.

How could he live with himself knowing he hurt such a wonderful, selfless person, only to keep himself on top of the social ladder at school?

Who _cared_ what table he sat at during lunch, or which people he got to walk the hallways with, when earning him that privilege would indirectly make Blaine unhappy?

Was he really that selfish?

_Yes,_ his inner voice told him. _Yes, you are._

And then, all of the sudden, like a bolt of lightning from a clear sky–

_"I know. You're right. But I love him, Blaine, I don't want to let him go. I can't."_

_"Well, my dear sister, I can certainly relate to that. But sometimes you have to let go of the people you love for their own best."_

_"I guess you're right. But it hurts so much, how can you stand it?"_

_"Well, I'm not exactly following my own advice, am I? But I will, I promise. As soon as he feels better."_

Oh dear lord.

No. It couldn't possibly be.

He knew that Blaine cared for him, of course, and that they were more than compatible as friends, but did Blaine's feelings go as far as _love _and genuine physical attraction?

Of course, Kurt would be lying if he was to say he hadn't thought about Blaine _that way _once or twice – or rather, many, many times. Even with Sam in the picture, he had caught himself longing after Blaine and his stupid bowties.

Of course he had. Blaine was amazing – handsome, sweet, intelligent, goofy, adorable – but there was one thing he was not, and that was socially accepted.

Being seen with him was not a clever move for someone who wished to be kept in the cool circles, and Kurt certainly needed to stay there.

And he hated himself so much for it, that he was now the embodiment of everything he used to hate. No matter what he did, he ended up hurting someone – and recently, the one getting hurt had mostly been Blaine, which was ironic since he was the one Kurt wanted to hurt least of all.

His inner monologue was suddenly interrupted by the shuffling of feet from inside the bedroom, and the last thing he heard was a "have fun at school", and then he found himself staring into a far too familiar pair of hazel orbs; burning into him like coal set on fire.

"Kurt!", Blaine gasped out, not even trying to keep his voice down. "Why- what are you-"

Kurt had difficulties finding words as well, so he mainly stammered incoherent things like "so sorry" and "I should go".

After a painfully long minute of honest to god drowning in _those eyes_, his heartbeat thumping in his ears and his knees almost giving up under him, he spun around with the ambition to put as much distance between himself and Blaine – most particularly his see-through-soul eyes.

"No, no, no, you can't leave", Blaine begged, running after him and capturing his wrist. "Please, don't go, not like this-"

"I'm sorry, I have to go", Kurt repeated, his tone mecanic and detached. He refused to look Blaine in the eye, because they had the power to completely see through him and make him break, and he couldn't afford to show himself weak now. Not when Blaine had just indirectly revealed his feelings for him, and Kurt was fighting so hard not to think about what he had heard because his body was protesting against him running away; his heart was pounding violently and his fingers and very skin was itching to just grab Blaine and pull him close and–

No. No, he was not falling into that trap. It would be like digging his own grave, and he had been so strong up until now. He was not going to mess it all up now.

"Kurt", Blaine said, his voice desperate yet still soft as velvet. "Please, just let me explain-"

It was all so unfair. How could he ever resist that voice? The way his name fell from Blaine's lips, so drenched in pain and fear and _longing_, was so deliciously torturous, and all he wanted to do was pull Blaine into his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay.

But he couldn't.

"There's nothing to explain", Kurt insisted, finally looking at him properly. "I didn't hear anything, you didn't say anything. Nothing happened, so there's no need to talk. I'll just go."

"If nothing happened", Blaine pressed on, "there's no need for you to go. You can stay, because nothing happened, so there is nothing to be uncomfortable about."

Kurt hesitated, his wrist still firmly in Blaine's grasp.

If he stayed, he would get to spend another few hours in Blaine's company which, though he could never admit it, was oh so precious to him. But he would be in danger of doing something stupid as developing feelings for the boy currently giving him the most intense puppy eyes he had ever seen – or, more accurately, develop _deeper_ feelings for him, because who was he kidding? – and he couldn't risk that.

It could quickly get out of hand and really messy, and then where would he be?

He couldn't give up all that he had fought so hard for – the Cheerios, his friends, the cool table in the cafeteria, the not having to worry about bullies and slushies – over just one guy. One very lame, nerdy guy who he shouldn't even look twice at. Problem was, Blaine had never actually been that guy; at least not to Kurt.

He had always been the interesting, quiet kid in class that didn't speak much, but Kurt felt this pull towards. It was like a small hook in his navel, tugging and pulling him towards the boy with the bowties (honestly, how many did the boy have? Kurt himself had a lot, but Blaine showed up to school each day with a brand new bowtie). It was as if the universe deliberately tried to push them together.

Of course, he knew that was all silly.

They were not supposed to be with each other. They were not supposed to _look_ at each other, even less speak.

So then why was he finding himself reaching for Blaine's hand now, allowing their fingers to twine together? And why was he letting Blaine lead him to the kitchen, obediently sitting down at the kitchen table while Blaine dashed around the room getting out bowls and cartons of milk?

It was called a weakness for a reason, and he shouldn't have subjected himself to the temptation in the first place.

But seeing Blaine's face light up when he found a box of his favorite cereals, it was so hard to think of a reason why he would belong anywhere else than by Blaine's side.

What could it hurt to just stick around for some breakfast, anyway?


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: G****uuuys, I got ALL THE FEELS writing this, so prepare yourselves...**

**On a sad note; I wrote a really nice line for Blaine (a very fancy poem about toast) that mysteriously disappeared along the way. You'll have to live without it. But while there aren't many poetic things included in this chapter, there is a lot of other stuff going on. Important, oh-no-I'll-die-from-all-the-feels stuff. I rolled around a little (a LOT) on the floor while writing this. SIGH.**

**And uh, I'm (not) sorry if I write too much about them eating but idk man, I love food. Even though Blaine is incompetent and can't make a good toast for the life of him, that adorable dork. Or maybe Kurt is just_ really _distracting.**

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_[Blaine's POV]_

"So, um–", Blaine began awkwardly, flipping open a cabinet and peering inside to look for something edible. "What do you want to eat?"

"I don't usually eat breakfast", Kurt replied behind him.

Blaine turned to look at him, only to find Kurt gazing out the window. He had his legs crossed in his trademark stance, and his hands clasped tightly together over his knees.

He looked tense.

"Well, you need to eat something", Blaine said, glancing nervously at him. He wasn't sure how far he was allowed to push things with Kurt. What if he snapped and ran away? He couldn't stand that. "Maybe a piece of toast?"

Kurt shook his head ever so slightly, still staring out the window and not paying attention to Blaine. "No, thank you. I'm fine. You eat whatever you want."

Blaine hesitated, his feet rooted to the ground as he stared at the pale boy sitting in front of him – he looked even paler now in the dim morning light pouring in through the window – and wondered if there was anything he could say to lift the obvious burden from Kurt's shoulders.

Of course, he had a faint clue what might be distressing him. That same thing was pressing down on him, too, but they had decided to pretend it didn't happen, so he couldn't really bring it up.

He accepted defeat, and went over to grab two pieces of toast and then slid them into the toaster. While he waited for them to pop up, he poured some water into a kettle and put it on the matching plastic piece, switching it on. The rumble of the water heating up filled the otherwise quiet kitchen, and Blaine proceeded to pick out things from the refrigerator; butter, jam, cheese, and a carton of apple juice.

He had already poured himself a bowl of milk and cereals; they were his favorites, with small pieces of strawberry mixed in with the cereal. He leaned against the kitchen counter and took a spoonful. Just as he was about to lift it to his mouth, he accidentally glanced Kurt's way and found him staring at his spoon as if transfixed by it.

He wasn't sure, what with the water heating up right next to him, but he could have sworn he heard Kurt's stomach rumbling.

Blaine's face fell. The boy was starving.

Kurt might not like it, but Blaine cared a whole lot about him, and he was not going to stand by and watch him starve.

He put the spoon back in the bowl, and walked over to where Kurt was sitting and put the bowl in front of him.

Kurt flinched at the sound of the bowl hitting the wooden table.

"I'm not hungry", he said, but Blaine could see how he licked his lips at the prospect of eating.

Blaine didn't say anything, but he didn't leave Kurt's side either, and he was determined to stay there until he was eating.

"I really don't–", Kurt began, attempting to hand the bowl back to Blaine, only to be stopped before he could even reach it.

"You either eat this", Blaine said, gesturing towards the bowl, "or I will go to my room and get a couple of CD's, and I will put on a one-man-show right here in the middle of my kitchen and make you watch. It involves dance moves that are embarrassing for me, you and the entire human species. I promise it's nothing you want to witness."

The tension between them eased somewhat after that, and Kurt actually smiled at him. It seemed hard, but he reached for the bowl either way, and picked up the spoon and took a bite.

Blaine couldn't help the pride bubbling up within him.

He smiled back, and retreated to the kitchen counter to grab the toasts that were now ready.

"Do you want some tea?", he asked over his shoulder as the water stopped boiling and the button switched itself off, indicating it was ready. "I would offer you coffee, but we ran out yesterday."

"Yes, please. Tea sounds perfect", Kurt's angelic voice came behind him, and Blaine had to stop himself from composing poems about it in his head. Just off the top of his head, some descriptive words coming to mind were_ flawless_, _oh-my-god-am-i-in-heaven-is-this-an-angel _and, however simple, just _beautiful._

Yes, _beautiful_ was one of Blaine's favorite descriptive words when it came to Kurt. He was however aware that no words could ever explain the painstaking beauty and perfection that was Kurt, so he gave up trying. But beautiful was a good start describing the mythological air of mystery and perfection that surrounded – and somehow seemed to originate from _within_ – the one and only Kurt Hummel.

"What flavor do you prefer?", he asked, his voice suddenly rough and gravelly. He cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly, and shot Kurt a quick glance.

"You can pick", Kurt said softly.

It was stupid, he knew that, but Kurt trusting him to pick out his tea made his stomach flutter.

He found himself staring at the shelf holding the tea bags for at least two minutes, trying to decide what flavor Kurt would like. It felt important, fate-changing even, that he should get this right.

Was he a fruit-loving kind of guy, like strawberry or raspberry or blueberry, or would he prefer something simple like Earl's Grey, or did he only drink super expensive exotic tea from those fancy shops that cost way too much money for Blaine to afford?

He was at a loss, and he felt himself panicking. He finally decided the whole thing was ridiculous. Him picking out tea for Kurt wasn't a big deal, so why should he stress it so much?

He finally reached for the box with the strawberry flavored bags; it might be a bit too childish and lame for Kurt, but Blaine did have a certain weakness for strawberries after all.

He grabbed two mugs out of a cabinet and put a tea bag in each of them, before reaching for the kettle and pouring hot water into each of the cups, making sure the water level was well beneath the rim. He put the kettle back in its place and made sure not to burn his skin on the hot surface when he carried the mugs over to the table.

Kurt leaned forward to smell his, and a small smile graced his lips. "Strawberry."

Blaine hummed something and blushed a little before retreating back to the kitchen. "Do you want some toast?"

"No, thanks", was Kurt's response, and it was exactly what Blaine had expected.

Blaine pretended to be surprised, and pulled one of his most adorably innocent faces, and said, "No? How can you say no to a piece of crispy, perfectly golden toast with rich, creamy jam, topped with–"

"Oh my ___god_", Kurt all but moaned, and however embarrassing, Blaine's stomach did a squirmy flip at the noise. "Damn you and your ability to paint vivid pictures."

Blaine grinned and popped open the jar of jam.

"Is strawberry jam okay, or would you prefer raspberry?", he asked, and balanced the jar in his hand along with two pieces of toast, all the while reaching for another jar in the fridge.

He was just about to drop it all on the floor when he heard the screech of wood against the floor, and then Kurt had snatched the jam out of his hands and thereby saved it from shattering against the floor. The toasts were still clasped in Blaine's own hand.

"Thanks", he mumbled, feeling small and childish once again.

But Kurt just smiled softly at him and went to place the jam on the table.

"Is everything in your kitchen strawberry flavored?", he asked, smiling. "Not that I don't like strawberries – I don't believe in God but if I did, I would say strawberries was his or hers greatest gift to the world along with Vogue and cheesecake – but even I keep some variety."

Blaine laughed softly.

"Well, Rachel has always loved it, and somewhere along the way I fell into the strawberry trap as well", he said as he put a fresh pair of bread slices into the toaster. The ones in his hand were cold and somewhat sweaty now, so he decided to throw them away. "Up until recently I was almost obsessed with it. Ice cream, soaps, shampoo, cake– everything was strawberry. But then I found another favorite, and now I'm split between the two."

"And what was this new great thing that came into your life and distracted you from your beloved strawberry? I'm sure the strawberries took your unfaithfulness very hard", Kurt said playfully.

Blaine shifted awkwardly, and refused to meet Kurt's eye. "Well, um–"  
The rest of the sentence got lost in a very quiet mumble.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that", Kurt said, arching an eyebrow.

Blaine gulped, and in a horrible moment he was sure Kurt could hear his very heart beating its way out of his chest.  
His palms were starting to sweat again and he had to stop himself from wiping it off on his pants.

"I– I've recently been quite fond of coconuts."

Kurt fell silent, and lowered his gaze to fiddle with the tablecloth. Neither one said anything for a while, and it told Blaine everything he needed to know.

It was creepy, he decided. It was creepy and weird, but he couldn't help it.

Coconut was the scent that reminded him the most of Kurt, because it was the scent of his frequently used shampoo. Whenever they got close enough, or the wind just happened to be in his favor, he could smell that faint scent of coconut drifting off of Kurt, and it drove him insane. He just wanted to dip his face into Kurt's hair – or his neck, where he wore either a light hint of coconut body cream or nothing at all, whichever works – and smell him _properly. _And since that wasn't an option, he unconsciously surrounded himself by coconut themed things.

On that not-a-date they had been on to watch Harry Potter at the movie theater, he had bought them both ice cream afterward, and Blaine had chosen coconut, without immediately reflecting on _why_. He had a craving for it, and naturally it was because Kurt was standing right next to him and he was smelling deliciously like coconut and, well, Blaine wanted Kurt. And therefore he also wanted coconut.

That night, he hadn't been sure if Kurt had caught the connection, too.

This time he was painfully certain it had reached Kurt's mind as well. And it was not good.

"Blaine", Kurt said after a few strained moments. His voice was soft and gentle, as to not scare him. Like he was some wounded animal. "Maybe I should go."

Blaine looked up, and he could almost feel his heart breaking at the look on Kurt's face.

He didn't _want _to go.

It was so obvious, perfectly spelled out on his face; his lips were stretched tightly, to keep Blaine away; his eyes were glassy and now more than ever were they the window to Kurt's soul, so filled with emotion and pain; his teeth were roughly digging into the soft flesh of his trembling bottom lip.

He _wanted_ to stay, with Blaine, but he couldn't allow himself to. And it was so hard to let him go then, when Blaine knew that he didn't _want_ to.

"You don't have to go", he said, a weak attempt to keep Kurt around.

"Yes, I do", Kurt said, but his voice was weak. "I– this is clearly not going to work. We are fooling ourselves."

"Why not?", Blaine asked, suddenly much louder. "We can pretend nothing happened, and–"

"I can't pretend", Kurt interrupted him, his voice sharp and rough, as though it was on the verge of breaking. "I– it ___hurts_, and I can't just sit here and act like nothing happened because it did happen, Blaine, and– and I should just go."

He got to his feet and put his mug on the table, but he didn't get further than that.

Blaine's fingers locked around his wrists and kept him in place. It was something of a trademark thing for them nowadays; Kurt trying to run and Blaine keeping him close by the wrist.

"Then why pretend?", Blaine said quietly, trying to catch Kurt's eye.

"You know why", Kurt whispered back. "Because I'm on the Cheerios, and you are–"

"–a nobody", Blaine filled in.

Kurt looked pained, but he nodded nonetheless. "Yes. And I can't– I can't go back to being afraid all the time. No matter the cost, I must remain on the Cheerios. And you–"

"–will destroy your reputation."

He boldly released Kurt's wrists and slid his hands down to capture Kurt's, sliding his fingers between Kurt's long, slender ones so they were locked together.

Kurt didn't pull away.

They were so close now, Blaine could smell the fading hint of coconut from Kurt's conditioner. He resisted the urge to lean closer.

"Then why not forget about school and reputations and Cheerios for today, and– and tomorrow we'll deal with the consequences", Blaine said, eyes darting down to Kurt's full, pink lips.

"It's not that easy", Kurt whispered.

"It could be", Blaine replied.

"I'll hurt you, we both know it", Kurt spat out. He was getting sick of playing this game, and Blaine was too, but there was no way he was letting Kurt walk out now. Not if it was not what he truly wanted.

To anyone else, Kurt's harsh words would be the end of it; it was a clear reminder that he would throw Blaine away as soon as he got the opportunity, that he wouldn't hesitate to hurt Blaine again.

Had it been anyone else, Kurt would be on his way home now. But Blaine saw through his words; he knew it was Kurt's last protective wall going up, and he was determined to knock it to the ground. He also knew the words leaving Kurt's lips were the truth; Blaine would, at the end of the day, sit there with his broken heart, left alone to try and pick up the pieces while Kurt went back to his own life; a life without Blaine.

"I can handle it", he said quietly.

"I'll hurt us both", Kurt said, desperation coloring his cracked voice.

"We are hurting right now, don't you see?" Blaine let out a joyless, cynical laugh. "It can't get worse. At least not for me", he insisted. "Stop looking for reasons to go."

Kurt bit his lip again, harder this time, and Blaine reluctantly released one of Kurt's hands to reach up and cup his face. The soothing motion made Kurt calm down somewhat, and his lip slipped out from between his teeth. He relaxed into Blaine's touch, and his his eyes fluttered shut in relief.

It was close to torturous for Blaine not to lean in and kiss those slightly swollen lips, but he managed to resist. Instead he slowly rubbed a thumb against Kurt's soft cheek, and caught his eye again as the blue ones snapped open once again.

"Stay." It was barely a whisper, but Kurt heard it.

Kurt gave the faintest of nods, and Blaine could feel his heart swelling in his chest.

A smile crept onto his face, and it grew into a grin when he saw Kurt's lips tug upwards slightly, too.

"So how about that breakfast, huh?", Blaine grinned, and tried to turn back to the toaster, but Kurt pulled him back so they were facing each other. He bit his lip uncertainly.

"Just– are you sure you want to do this?", he asked, somehow managing to glance up at Blaine through his eyelashes despite Blaine being shorter than him.

"I'm not sure how you think this is going to end or what you expect from me, but at 6pm I have to be home for dinner, and once I leave, I won't be coming back. Things will go back to normal, and I– I won't be able to even speak to you anymore." He bit down harder on the tender flesh, and his eyes were definitely watering up. Blaine's heart clenched at the sound of Kurt's voice breaking as he finished, "Won't it be easier if I just leave now?"

"No", Blaine insisted, and kept rubbing his thumb against Kurt's cheek. "I want– I _need_ you to stay."

Kurt searched his eyes for a moment; pale blue flicking over dark hazel.

"I wish it were that simple", Kurt said slowly.

"It is. It can be", Blaine promised. He ventured a small smile. "I'm used to being alone. I'll get by."

Kurt pulled away at those words, freeing himself from Blaine completely. He wrapped his arms around himself instead, staring at Blaine with pained eyes.

"That's the thing", he said. "I don't _want_ you to be alone. Ever! I can't stand seeing you so unhappy, especially when it's my fault. Don't you see that?"

Blaine cast his eyes downwards. "I don't know what you want from me, Kurt. Do you want me to tell you to leave and never speak to me again? That I don't care for you anymore, or that I never want to see you again? It might make things easier for you." It wasn't even meant as an insult. It was something he was honestly willing to do if it helped Kurt feel better. "Just tell me what to say, and I'll say it."

Unfortunately, it backfired, and Kurt felt worse than ever.

"How do you do that? How do you sacrifice yourself for others all the time and just push yourself aside? How can you stand it?", Kurt asked, his voice pitched higher than usual.

Blaine shrugged. "It hurts me more when other people are hurting. I can handle my own pain, but I can't stand seeing others suffer." He paused for a moment, then added, "Especially you."

"You should throw me out", Kurt said harshly. "You should scream at me and tell me you hate me and–"

"I don't hate you."

"But you _should_", Kurt snapped. "I'm disgusting. I hate myself for being this horrible person. I wasn't always like this. I used to be like you; selfless, kind, good. What happened to me?"

A dry sob erupted from the back of his throat, and he clasped his arms tighter around himself. He shut his eyes, and Blaine couldn't help but take a tentative step forward.

"Kurt", he said softly. "Look at me."

When there was no response, he took another step forward, and cupped Kurt's delicate face in his hands.

Kurt's blue eyes snapped open, and he looked so very scared, Blaine felt like he might burst into tears if those ocean-deep eyes kept boring into him like that.

"You are not horrible", Blaine said quietly. Kurt was about to argue, but he hushed him. "You are amazing, and you _are_ kind, and good, and selfless. You just– strayed from the path a little. And that's okay."

"It's not okay", Kurt mumbled, looking down at the carpet instead of meeting Blaine's burning gaze. "All I do is hurt people. I deserve to be alone, and I will never be good enough for anyone." He hesitated for a moment, and then whispered, "Especially not for you."

Blaine gently tipped his chin up with his fingers so he could look him in the eye. Kurt looked like a small kitten, abandoned to sleep on the threshold in the cold night. Blaine's stomach flipped. He would do anything to make Kurt happy. Which may have been why he did what he did next.

"You are amazing", he repeated, gently but firmly. And then, after a beat, eyes never leaving Kurt's, "And I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Now, dear readers, try not to hate me for this. I just can't resist a delicious cliffhanger when I see one. It's like crack to me.**

**I'm sorry I keep dropping cliffhangers and splitting chapters into two but it's fun. For me at least. So the next update will be quite short, and it'll be from Blaine's POV as well!**

**Okay so can I just...BLAINE LOVES KURT. HE LOVES HIM. HE SAID SO. Oh god I'm emotional. And what will Kurt say?! Will he run away or punch Blaine in the face or throw glitter all over the place or WHAT? Jesus chris this is exhausting.**

**And honestly I don't know why I keep obsessing over coconuts but I have this headcannon where Kurt loves coconut like crazy and smells like it and SIGH I just really love coconut okay. Sometimes I dream about owning coconut shampoo but it's too expensive, sigh. I try to keep my crazy to a minimum but sometimes it spills out (erhm which is code for "sometimes I fangirl about and obsess over weird things no one understands or care about in my fanfiction such as coconut ice cream, amazing bands literally no one here has heard of and the 70's glam rock in the shape of the movie Velvet Goldmine").**

******There was a time when I tried to stay serious in my A/N's but that time is unfortunately over. This is more fun. Sorry I'm not sorry.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Wow okay so can I just... in 4 days I will have been writing this for over 5 months. FIVE. ENTIRE. MONTHS. Or is it 4? Well it doesn't matter. It's insane. How have you put up with me for this long without choking me to death or something? What is even this story? I have no idea anymore.**

**I'm very happy for those of you who have stayed through this weird thing anyway. You are amazing! xxx**

**And here is part 2 of the oh-my-god-my-feels-are-exploding-chapter.**

* * *

_ [Blaine's POV]_

_And I love you._

The effect those small words had on Kurt was almost comical, only it wasn't funny at all; it was painful, wonderful, amazing and horribly heartwarming and soul-clenching all at once.

Kurt just stared at him, his hands having gone straight to hover over Blaine's hips when Blaine had stepped closer to him. He hadn't even realized he had moved, and now his fingers were digging into Blaine's skin through the thin fabric of his shirt, but the pain never reached him.

He was too busy trying not to pass out from Kurt's eyes burning holes in his soul.

He had just told Kurt Hummel he loved him. Jesus Christ, could he get much more stupid?

"Look, I'm sorry–", Blaine said before Kurt could respond. "I shouldn't have said that. You just broke up with Sam yesterday and I'm– well, me. I'm not stupid, I know _we_ can't happen. I just wanted you to know that there's always someone who loves you, even if it doesn't always seem that way. And you are never alone, Kurt."

Kurt's eyes were glittering with unshed tears, his bottom lip trembling slightly, and Blaine swore under his breath. He just could not get things right, could he? "No, no, don't cry. Please don't cry, I–"

He didn't get further before Kurt's hands tightened on his hips, a hand sliding up to claw into his shirt to force him closer, and then, before either of them could even begin to process what was happening, Kurt had pressed their lips together.

It was hesitant at first, at least on Blaine's behalf; he mostly stood there, rooted to the ground as if there were chains locked around his limbs forcing him to remain unmoving, his lips numb against Kurt's. It was a very shallow, careful kiss; more a peck on the lips than anything, and perhaps an invitation for more.

Kurt had moved with a feverish resolution at first, for once allowing his heart and body to rule his mind, but with Blaine's lack of movement, he seemed to doubt his decision.

He was just starting to pull away, his thoughts tripping over each other in their urge to get him to focus on them. Blaine could easily read them all on his face.

Shock. Embarrassment. Fear. And, most pressingly, _pain_.

His hand released Blaine's shirt, and curled his arms around himself instead. His protective walls were rising again.

That was all it took for Blaine to regain control of his body again. He surged forward, slipping his hands up behind Kurt's neck to twine his fingers into his silk soft hair, connecting their mouths once again.

This time around, Kurt was the one being swept off his feet. He, however, composed himself much quicker, and wasn't slow to wrap his arms back around Blaine's waist, tugging him closer.

Blaine had never expected much of his first kiss. Everyone told him they were overrated and always a disappointment, and the ones who claimed otherwise were called naive liars. So he had trained himself not to hope for that magic first kiss he had seen in those Disney movies and dreamt of since he was a little boy; the kiss that would make dazzling fireworks blind his sight and send his heart soaring into the skies. He forced himself to believe such things did not exist, the same way fairytales and true happy endings didn't exist either.

But now, with Kurt's arms safely wrapped around his waist, their mouths sliding together in a perfectly imperfect sync, he couldn't possibly describe it with any other words than _pure magic_. And then Kurt's teeth scratched gently along his bottom lip, and he instinctively parted them to grant him access, and a whole new world of pleasure washed over him, making him tug a little on Kurt's hair to keep himself grounded and not float away into the atmosphere. The second their tongues made contact, Blaine was sure he was going to pass out. It was wet and unfamiliar but so very, _very_ amazing.

He made a surprised noise somewhere in the back of his throat as one of Kurt's hands lay to rest on his lower back, right where the hem of his shirt ended and smoothed over into bare skin. The tips of Kurt's fingers grazed Blaine's soft skin and they both made embarrassingly hot noises, which were probably not appropriate for a first kiss, that got swallowed by the other's mouth.

All Blaine's senses were exploding with all that was Kurt; his taste, his scent, his touch.

He wished his mind would work properly so he could map out every corner of Kurt's mouth and keep it in his mind forever, because he was quite certain this would be the only chance he ever got to come this close. Unfortunately, Kurt's lips had effectively shut off his brain, and his body was working entirely on its own, which may be why he suddenly got so bold as to push Kurt backwards until they ended up against the wall next to the fridge. Kurt wasn't complaining though, instead tightening his grip around Blaine's middle, so he must be doing something right.

The rush of adrenalin pumping through his veins was unfortunately not enough to block out the sudden lack of oxygen, and Blaine could feel himself getting light-headed.

Wouldn't that be a grand story for his future children, if he passed out during his first kiss?

Kurt must have felt it as well, because soon he was pulling away ever so slightly. Not enough to rip himself from Blaine's hold, but enough so they both could take a few deep breaths and settle down a little. Blaine could have sworn there were fireworks before his eyes as he gazed over at Kurt, and he had to stop himself from kissing him again.

He vaguely wondered if the taste of Kurt's mouth would count as a drug, because it was just as addicting as one.

He forced himself to pull focus from Kurt's plump, pink-kissed lips, and lifted his eyes to his face. His heart must have stopped, because Kurt was looking so exquisite, his eyes blown wide, cheeks flushed with a soft pink, and his bottom lip still trembling ever so slightly. Blaine couldn't even process how_ hot_ he looked pushed up against the wall like that, his normally perfected hair mussed up and tangled around Blaine's hands.

Kurt softly bit down on his bottom lip, this time to hide the smile that was trying to spread out across his lips.

"I'm sorry", he said finally. His hands trailed slowly, almost absentmindedly, along the hem of Blaine's shirt, and a shiver ran down Blaine's spine when the tip of Kurt's pinky grazed his bare skin.

"What for?" Blaine asked, and he should be ashamed of how utterly breathless he was, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Kurt's fingers kept playing with his shirt, and every time he accidentally touched Blaine's skin, the poor boy's mind went blank again. It was hard to keep up a conversation like that, but Kurt didn't seem to notice Blaine's distraction.

"I shouldn't have done that", he said, voice trying to sound regretful, but it didn't quite come out that way as a grin slowly stretched across his lips.

"It's a little hard to take you seriously when you're grinning like the Cheshire cat", Blaine commented. It was all he could do not to push Kurt up against the wall again. Once the heat had died down a little, Blaine had stopped forcing Kurt backwards, and Kurt's back was now more supported by than pushed up against the wall.

Considering the circumstances, he was pleased with himself for still being conscious.

Kurt shook his head, still smiling widely. He was trying to clear out his thoughts and this post-kiss bliss that was clouding his thoughts. Blaine felt the same, but he was much more reluctant to step out of their haze. It was wonderfully numb and calm in this fog, and he quite liked to be stuck in there with Kurt.

"I still have to go, you know", Kurt said, when he finally managed to tone down the smile that fought so hard to break out full-force. "This can't last."

"Then let's make the most of it", Blaine insisted, sobering up as well. "It's still like nine hours left until you must go. We can have some breakfast, watch a movie, take a nap. Just– just stay, and we'll take it as it comes."

Kurt hesitated. "Are you sure? Won't this be weird?"

"Not at all", Blaine promised. "We're just– friends. Kind of."

"So no more kissing?", Kurt asked, and Blaine couldn't help but notice the way his eyes flicked downwards. He tried not to take pride in how disappointed Kurt sounded at the possibility of there being no more kisses, but he soon gave up. Kurt Hummel liked kissing him, and that may very well be his greatest accomplishment in life, so why not savor it as long as he could?

"Friends with benefits", Blaine corrected himself, eliciting a laugh out of Kurt. It was the best sound in the world, even when it was sheathed with sadness.

"So– a casual nine-hour-relationship?", Kurt clarified, thoughtfully chewing on the inside of his lip. "No strings attached?"

"Something like that. And after that, I swear, I'll leave you alone and never do this", Blaine leaned in to press a long, lingering kiss to Kurt's lips, "again."

He tried not to linger on the throbbing pain in his heart when he said those words. Never kissing Kurt again was not something he wanted to think about.

Kurt pouted slightly as Blaine pulled away. "Let's not think about that now."

"That's the spirit!", Blaine cheered, and slid his hands down to squeeze Kurt's hand. "I think we should give up on that toast though, because now they're cold again. You're too distracting."

"Sorry", Kurt said weakly.

"It was a joke", Blaine smiled.

Never letting go of Kurt's hand, Blaine went to throw away the toasts. He put everything else away and then led Kurt back up to his room.

The house was deserted now, what with Rachel having left for school and Blaine's parents being away for work and stuff.

Kurt was still looking sad, and Blaine couldn't handle him being anything but happy. He _needed_ him to be happy. It was all he wanted.

"Cheer up", he said, smiling brightly, even though he was slowly crumbling inside as well. But he needed to be strong for them both. "Because I have a present for you, but you won't appreciate it if you're sad."

Kurt's chin peaked up at those words, and a tentative smile spread over his face. "You got me a present? Why?"

Blaine was about to say "because I love you", but quickly decided against it. Kurt would just run away if he said those words again, and now that he had finally convinced him to stay, he wouldn't do anything to risk scaring him away again.

"It's nothing, really", he said shyly. "I just think you'll like it. So let's put a smile on that pretty face of yours, or I might have to break out that dancing routine I mentioned earlier."

Kurt smiled for real, then. "I'm sure it'd be magnificent."

Blaine laughed. "You say that now. Wait until you see it. Rachel saw it once, and she still claims to be scarred for life."

"I'm intrigued", Kurt said with a smile. "So I get to see it today?"

"No, I wouldn't want to scare you away just yet", Blaine joked. "Maybe next time."

Right then, in the moment, he didn't realize what he was implying with those words, and was therefore not surprised at the lack of complaints from the other boy.

Kurt just smiled softly, his eyes glued to Blaine's mouth as another fond smile spread across his face. "I might take you up on that promise."

* * *

**A/N: THEY KISSED. THEY FINALLY KISSED. I am so emotional over this it's not even funny. My babies finally kissed and now they'll get married (21!) and have lots of babies and– okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. I honestly don't know what I'm doing. Do I even make sense? No? Okay. And wow the kissing is probably really rushed but I couldn't stand not having them kiss for another second. I need Klaine kisses to live. AND THEY KISSED SO IT'S OKAY. EVERYTHING IS OKAY.**

**BUT BABY BLAINERS MY ANGEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU. ARE. NOT. JUST. FRIENDS. Sigh. One day I will die from a Klaine-induced heartattack, and I will regret nothing.**

**I also keep reading "you got me a peasant?" when Kurt says it to Blaine somewhere at the end of this chapter, and then I laugh hysterically for way too long. What even. Tumblr, I blame you.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hello angels! Here is another update, since EmLovesYouu asked so nicely. xx**

**Okay, here's the thing - I'm good at starting stories and all, but I suck at ending them. Like, really suck. I think this has dragged on for far too long already and I'm not really sure where to go next. I really will try to not end it as horribly as I have ended my fics in the past (*cough*) and I will try to write as much as possible, but with school work and my messy life in general, I'm not sure when I'll be able to post another update. But I'll try my best!**

**EITHER WAY. Here you go, angels - a little piece of fluff before shit goes down.**

**Spot the Hunger Games quote and you are an extra special snowflake. xxx**

* * *

_[Kurt's POV]_

Blaine held the door open for him, and Kurt stepped over the threshold into the forbidden territory of Blaine's bedroom. Although now it might not be so forbidden after all. At least not for another eight hours and fifty-two minutes.

"Close your eyes", Blaine told him, his smile excited and vibrant.

"Excuse me?", Kurt said, arching an eyebrow. "I'd rather not, thank you."

"It won't hurt", Blaine said to try and light Kurt's mood, but managed to do the opposite.

"What exactly are you planning?", Kurt asked, his voice a tad higher than usual.

"No, no, it's nothing bad, I swear", Blaine rushed to say. "You'll love it, I promise. At least I hope you will. Just close your eyes, okay?"

"If you pour something in my hair, I won't be responsible for my actions", Kurt muttered, but did as he was told. As always when asked not to look, he found it _very_ hard not to at least take a little peak at what Blaine was doing. Blaine must have sensed this too, because he took Kurt's left hand and guided it up to cup it over his eyes. Kurt couldn't help but shiver at the touch, and he hoped that Blaine didn't notice.

God, it would hurt to leave him so soon.

"Thank you for the trust", he muttered, as usual turning to sassy replies as a defensive mechanism against uncomfortable feelings, but Blaine just laughed. He wasn't sure if his hearing got turned up a notch when his sight was blocked, but Blaine's laugh sounded higher and clearer than ever.

Kurt was standing in the doorway, his hand on the door frame as to orient himself in this blind state, and he could hear Blaine shuffling around the room, but he couldn't tell what he was doing.

This went on for several minutes, and Kurt felt panic slowly creeping up along his spine.

"What are you doing?", he whined, trying to sharpen his hearing to get a better idea of what to expect.

A dozen ideas rushed through his mind, each crazier and more unlikely than the previous, and he was just about to give up and open his eyes when he could feel Blaine's slightly rough hand peel his fingers from the door frame. He twined their fingers together and gently tugged him forward. It felt so natural and Kurt didn't even consider pulling away.

"You can look now", Blaine said.

Kurt tentatively spread the fingers covering his eyes and peered out between them. Blaine had angled them so they were facing his bed. Kurt didn't see anything unusual or new that could serve as his present. Until–

"Oh my _god_!", he all but screamed, clasping his free hand to his mouth. He then turned and threw his arms around Blaine, pulling him into a tight hug that almost bruised them both. He could feel rather than hear Blaine laughing against his neck, warm puffs of breath tickling his skin.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you", he chanted, excitement numbing him from feeling any level of embarrassment over his reaction.

Because on the neatly made bed lay two huge cardboard cut outs in the shapes of Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape.

"But– how did you–", Kurt stammered as he forced himself to let go of his tight grip around Blaine's neck. He stared wide-eyed at the items in front of him, and instinctively reached for Blaine's hand again. "Didn't your friend say they were taken?"

"They were", Blaine admitted, stroking Kurt's knuckles with his thumb, "but I got the name of the girl who got them, and I bought them from her."

"Oh, you shouldn't have", Kurt said softly, starting to come down from his high. "Wasn't she sad about losing them? And what did they cost? I'll repay you–"

"Oh, don't worry about her. She didn't deserve them. She only wanted Harry, anyway, and since she hadn't read the books she thought Snape was a selfish bastard, so she didn't want anything to do with him", Blaine said and rolled his eyes. Kurt sympathized with him completely; he hated when people didn't read the books and still pretended to be hardcore fans.

"She didn't even want McGonagall?", Kurt asked, staring fondly at the cut outs. "Everyone loves her."

"I paid a little extra for her", Blaine said. "I know she's your favorite–"

"Thank you", Kurt said, looking over at him and smiling softly. He was willing himself not to cry, but it was so hard. Then, cocking his head to the side, he added,

"How did you know she was my favorite?"

Blaine immediately flushed red, and tried to peel Kurt off and turn to close the door as an excuse to hide his face.

"Hey", Kurt said, pulling him back. He was suddenly filled with genuine concern for the boy. He wasn't used to this feeling of needing to protect someone so badly. He had never felt like this with Sam – the constant tingling on his skin whenever he and Blaine brushed against each other, the fluttering butterflies in his stomach when their eyes locked on each other, or the sudden feeling of completion when Blaine's tongue flicked against his. And he was certainly not used to this intense _need _to know what was troubling Blaine. "Is something wrong?"

Blaine shook his head, the blush still present on his face. "I– god, this is embarrassing."

"You can tell me anything", Kurt said softly, reaching up to cup his chin. He wasn't entirely sure where all this came from. Why was he suddenly so keen on making sure Blaine was okay when he knew perfectly well that this little idyllic reality they had created for themselves would only last a few more hours? But he couldn't help himself. He wanted to hold Blaine and kiss away all his troubles.

"I don't want to", Blaine said miserably, sounding very much like an upset five-year-old. "It makes me sound like a creep."

"Now you _have_ to tell me or I'll die from curiosity", Kurt insisted, eyes sparkling.

Blaine sighed, and dragged a hand over his hair to try and flatten it down.

"Okay, so, um– I heard you talking about Harry Potter in school last year, and you mentioned how sassy McGonagall was in the fifth book and–"

"Oh my god, I remember that", Kurt gasped. "I was talking to Britt, right?"

"Yeah", Blaine said, sighing. "And you just mentioned that she was your favorite, and I–"

"And you remembered that after all this time?"

Blaine looked up to meet his gaze, and smiled coyly. "Always."

Kurt couldn't help but smile at the reference. He was also touched that Blaine had remembered such a trivial fact.

But Blaine's eyes quickly flicked away from his again, and Kurt could tell he was truly ashamed of his revelation.

"Don't feel bad", he cooed, tilting Blaine's chin up again. "I know things about you, too."

Blaine arched an eyebrow. "You didn't know I existed until we got paired for Glee."

"Apparently, I have not been as oblivious to you as I imagined", Kurt admitted. "I know that you don't go anywhere without gelling your hair, which for the record is a pity because you look good in curls." He stopped to swat at Blaine's arm when he scrunched up his face in disgust at the mention of his curls.

"I know that you have a copy of every Katy Perry CD ever released – don't deny it – and I know that you have hundreds of bowties hidden somewhere around here." He smiled playfully. "I have kept track of the boy with the bowties."

Blaine grinned. "Do you have any original lines, or do you steal all of them from popular novels?"

Kurt smiled innocently, and gave the tip of Blaine's nose a gentle tap with his finger. "I save the original ones for special occasions."

Blaine hummed, and his eyes flicked down to the boy's lips.

"So, uh, what do you want to do now?" he asked, awkwardly clearing his throat.

Kurt shrugged, nerves suddenly setting in again.

"Maybe we should just take it slow", Blaine suggested. "Put on a movie or–"

He didn't get further because Kurt promptly tugged him forwards and pressed their lips together. He was a little surprised at how forward he was being, but they only had a few hours together and he was determined to make each minute count.

Blaine tasted faintly of strawberry tea and that pure flavor that was just _Blaine_. Kurt could definitely get used to all this kissing and tasting.

He loved the way his whole body was set on fire when their lips touched. Kissing Sam had never made him feel that way.

This – whatever it was – was new and exciting and wonderful, and he didn't ever want it to stop.

But eventually, it had to. And when he finally pulled away, licking his lips, Blaine made a needy noise and pulled him closer again, entangling their fingers as he did so.

Although he didn't say so, Kurt was glad to have his eagerness reciprocated, and wasn't late to respond enthusiastically to the kiss.

Blaine was the one to pull away next.

He smiled sweetly at him, and Kurt felt that familiar tingling sensation on his skin. He realized that he really liked it.

But before he could settle into this comfortable state of mind, Blaine had ripped his hand away and dashed out the door. Kurt was left standing alone in the middle of Blaine's bedroom, a frown growing on his face.

"Race you to the kitchen!" Blaine yelled over his shoulder, and when Kurt made it out into the hall outside of his bedroom, he was just in time to see Blaine's head of hair disappearing down the stairs.

He couldn't help but smile.

_That goofball._

* * *

**A/N: Oh Blainers, you adorable, romantic, supermegafoxyawesomehot dork. And Kuuuurt, why so stubborn? Don't you see how happy Blaine makes you?! Just let yourself love him, for gods sake! It's happening either way, man, don't fight it.**

**And WHY can't Klaine just be like this forever and just make out and be happy? Well, kind of happy anyway. SIGH.**

**Coming up is some angsty goodness and it may or may not involve a crying Blaine. It hurts to write it, sigh.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hello angels! Today is my birthday, so I'm updating! Yay!**

**Also, sorry for the obsessive use of lyrics in this chapter but it's one of my favorite songs (The Magic Position, by Patrick Wolf) and you should all listen to it because honestly it would be perfect for Blaine to sing and it's an amazing song for Klaine as a couple too so yeah. I'm the writer and I wanted it there so I put it there. Ha!**

**...can you tell I'm tired? Cause I am. Sorry. It's been an emotional day.**

**And I apologize in advance for the hysterical A/N at the end... I guess it's a bad thing my A/Ns are almost as long as the chapters themselves but I can't help it. My feels are spilling over! Sorry dear readers! You just have to put up with my hysteria.**

**Now, read!**

* * *

_[Blaine's POV]_

"Blaine?"

"Mm?"

"What time is it?"

"Don't worry about that."

"Just tell me."

"You asked me fifteen minutes ago."

"Yes, but–"

Kurt was effectively cut off as Blaine's fingers, that had been stroking over his shirt from where it began at his cut-off sleeves and down to the hem, slipped from the fabric and instead slid up to ghost over his bare hip. Kurt made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and curled back, promptly eliminating the last inches of space between them and pressing against Blaine's still moving fingers.

They were lying on Blaine's bed – Kurt with his back against Blaine, and Blaine's fingers slowly tracing a pattern along Kurt's milky skin.

"I– I–"

Blaine got some silly satisfaction out of the fact that Kurt was barely able to speak when he had his hands on him. It felt good knowing he had some effect on Kurt too, even if he doubted it was to the same extent as Kurt effected Blaine.

Soon Kurt turned around so they were face-to-face instead.

"You are too distracting", he mumbled and slid his hand under his pillow to adjust it. "We need to talk."

Blaine shook his head and pressed their lips together instead. "No", a kiss, "we", another, "don't."

"Blaine", Kurt laughed and pushed his face away.

Blaine pouted adorably. "No fun."

"Talking isn't supposed to be fun."

"I think you've got the concept wrong", Blaine said. "You're supposed to do things that are fun. Kissing is fun. Talking is not."

Kurt just rolled his eyes and sat up instead, leaving Blaine whining beneath him.

"We do need to talk, Blaine", he said, and glanced down at him.

"But why?" Blaine persisted. "We've said all there is to say. You'll be going in a few hours and then– then this will be over, so why not make the most of it while we still can?"

"But doesn't that bother you?" Kurt asked, sitting up even more straight and fully looking down on Blaine who remained on his back. "That _this_ will just cease to exist in–", he paused to check his phone, "five hours."

"But I thought that's what you wanted. You're the one who set the time limit."

"I don't _want_ to go, but I have to. I've already told you."

"No one is forcing you to go."

"Blaine–"

"What? It's true", Blaine said, sitting up as well so they were level. "You don't have to do anything."

"We already went through this, and you agreed to no strings attached", Kurt said between gritted teeth.

"I did", Blaine agreed. "But you're the one who brought up how we felt about it. I was content just being here but you–"

"Yes, I know", Kurt snapped impatiently.

Blaine flinched and shifted a little on the bed.

"I'm sorry", Kurt mumbled, and almost unconsciously wrapped his arms around his middle.

"Hey, it's fine", Blaine said, defenses immediately crumbling. He silently hated himself for being so weak for Kurt. He scooted closer and tentatively opened up his arms as an invitation.

Kurt eyed him carefully before sighing and shifting closer.

Before he could protest, Blaine wrapped his arms around him and flopped them both down on their backs again. Kurt giggled and turned on his side to nuzzle closer into Blaine's neck. Blaine rested his chin against the top of Kurt's head and sighed quietly.

Of course he didn't want Kurt to go. If it were up to him, they would never be separated ever again. But it wasn't his decision.

He wanted to keep Kurt safe from bullies just as much, if not more, than Kurt did. And if he was safe when he wasn't with Blaine, then so be it. It was a price he was willing to pay.

There was a stifled mumble coming from Kurt's lips that Blaine couldn't quite catch.

"Sorry, what?"

Kurt shifted a little so his mouth wasn't muffled by Blaine's neck. "Can you sing something for me?"

"What do you want me to sing?"

"I don't know. Pick something."

Blaine hummed silently for a few seconds, racking his mind for a good song.

"Okay", he said finally. "It won't be the same without the original music, but–"

"Just sing, please", Kurt said, gently prodding him in the ribs.

Blaine chuckled softly, the vibration of his laugh sending shivers through Kurt.

"Impatient, are we?"

"Blaine–"

"Shh,

_So let the people talk_

_This Monday morning walk_

_Right past the fabulous mess we're in_

_It's gonna be a beautiful day_

_So do the bluebirds sing_

_As I take your hand_

_And you take my kiss_

_And we take the world._"

He could feel Kurt smiling in recognition against his skin, and instinctively slid an arm around him to hold him a little closer.

"_Cause out of all the people I've known_

_The places I've been_

_The songs I've sung_

_The wonders I've seen_

_Now that the dreams are all coming through_

_Who is the one who leads me on through?_

_It's you_

_Who puts me in the magic position, darling_

_You put me in the magic position_

_To live_

_To learn_

_To love_

_In the major key_

_The major key_

_The major key_

_The major key."_

Blaine's fingers slowly resumed their travel along Kurt's hip. Maybe it was to distract himself from the lyrics that were punching holes in his stomach and cutting through his heart like a knife through paper. Maybe he just liked the feeling of Kurt's skin beneath his fingers.

His voice wavered as he sang the next part, but Kurt didn't seem to notice.

"_And I know how you've hurt and been dragged through the dirt_

_But come on get back up_

_It's time to live_

_And as you give your love to me_

_I'm gonna keep it carefully_

_So deep in the treasure chest below my breast_

_Cause out of all the people I've known_

_The places I've been_

_The songs I've sung_

_The wonders I've seen_

_Now that the dreams are all coming through_

_Who is the one who leads me on through?_

_It's you who puts me in the magic position, darling now_

_You've put me in the magic position, darling_

_So let me put you in the magic position, darling_

_'Cause I'm singing in the major key_

_The major key..._"

He trailed off his slowed down acapella version of the song with a choked off noise, and Kurt immediately stiffened against him.

"I'm sorry."

Blaine's words were barely audible above him, yet Kurt heard them as though they had been gunshots.

He slowly sat up enough so he could look Blaine in the eye.

"I'm so sorry", Blaine said again, tears glittering in his eyes.

"Oh, no, don't cry– shhh, don't cry, honey", Kurt whispered, cupping his cheek and wiping away the tears that fell from Blaine's impossibly long eyelashes.

"I c-can't do this. I'm sorry", Blaine choked out, shaking his head. "I thought I could just let you go but I can't. I _love_ you, Kurt, and I– I–"

"Shh", Kurt whispered, frantically trying to comfort him. "Please don't cry, or I will cry too–"

"I love you so much it_ hurts _and I–"

Kurt scrambled up to sit on his knees, Blaine following his movement and sitting up as well, and cupped Blaine's face in his hands. "Just take deep breaths."

Blaine choked back another sob and bit down roughly on his bottom lip. He drew in a shaky breath and tried to just focus on Kurt's eyes – his glassy, pale blue eyes that were swimming with tears.

Oh god.

Why did everything in his life go wrong? What horrible thing had he done to deserve all this pain?

He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to feel anymore. He wanted to disappear, completely vanish from the face of the earth and just... not feel. He was so tired of _feeling._

The pain, the heartache, the undying _love_ for the boy who could never love him back.

It was too much.

He could feel Kurt's hand trying to capture his, and he was too tired to stop him.

Kurt put his arms around him, but he didn't really feel it.

Kurt whispered supposed-to-be comforting things in his ear, but he didn't really hear it.

He was numbed. It was finally too much.

When he finally calmed down and the sobs died out, he suddenly felt very tired, oh so tired. He shifted a little in Kurt's arms so he could sit up a little straighter.

He felt a huff of breath against his skin as Kurt sighed and rested his chin in the crook of Blaine's shoulder, obviously relieved to have succeeded in calming him.

"I think you should leave."

The words were careful, quiet– Kurt almost didn't hear them. But he did.

Blaine could feel Kurt's body stiffening again, the sudden tension between them almost like electricity. Suddenly the warm arms around Blaine's waist, the fingers slowly tracing circles over his hip bone, were gone, leaving him feeling colder and more alone than ever.

He turned around and stared blindly at the patch of wall in front of him. He couldn't handle seeing Kurt's eyes so full of pain and fear.

Kurt didn't say anything. He just sat there, staring at Blaine's neck and silently willing him to turn around and look at him.

Blaine just blinked away a fresh wave of tears that threatened to consume him, and forced himself to keep his voice even as he repeated his words. "I think you should leave now."

His heart was thudding painfully in his chest as he watched Kurt crawl off the bed, unusually ungraceful to be him, and stumble over to the door. Blaine almost ran after him as he accidentally caught a glance of Kurt's glassed-over, pained eyes. But his body held him back, physically pinning him to the bed, and for once he was controlled by his brain rather than his heart.

He wasn't sure if pushing Kurt away was the right answer. He wasn't sure about anything at all anymore.

He couldn't tell for sure, but watching Kurt leave was probably at least twice as painful as being held by him and knowing Kurt could never love him back.

But it was too late to call him back now, so all he could do was watch him leave.

He was pretty sure it was the last time he would ever get to hold Kurt, even less kiss him, and he had totally wasted it. He hated Kurt for doing this to him, for hurting him and being so stubborn and obsessed with popularity that he was willing to just throw Blaine away for its sake.

But most of all he hated himself.

His fingers were itching to punch and hurt... not Kurt, _of course_. He could never hurt Kurt. Or anyone, really. But least of all Kurt.

No, what he really craved was to have a good long cry and then scream a little (_a lot_) and have a go at his punching bag in the basement. And then go to bed and hopefully choke on his tears in his sleep. That would probably be less painful than this, he figured.

He flinched as the floorboards outside of his room creaked gently beneath Kurt's tender weight.

Sudden silence, the kind that presses down and suffocates everything.

As if Kurt was waiting outside the door for him to come out and beg him to come back.

As if he waited for Blaine to remind him that he loved him and that he would never ask him to leave again.

Blaine's heart was beating violently, throwing itself against his ribcage as if it tried to physically reach out to Kurt.

His brain allowed no such thing and he just stayed on his bed, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs and his eyes squeezed shut as he listened to signs of movement on the other side of the door. He knew Kurt could easily sneak out unnoticed if he wanted to – he was graceful as a cat.

After several more moments of complete silence, there was a sudden creak, further away this time, and then the repetitive sound of Kurt's feet on the steps as he descended the stairs.

The slamming of a door.

Only then did Blaine finally let go of himself, fall onto his back and curl up in a pathetic ball in the far corner of his bed; sobs wrecking through him until he fell asleep hours later.

* * *

**A/N: OH MY GOD. WHAT AM I DOING. SOMEONE STOP ME AND SAVE KLAINE BEFORE IT GETS WORSE. NO. NO NO NO NO. WHY WOULD I DO THIS?! MY ANGELS, MY BABIES, WHY CAN'T THEY HAVE NICE THINGS?! NO.**

**Okay so yeah maybe it wasn't the best thing in the world to be really upset and listen to Don't Speak, The Scientist and Teenage Dream (4.04...sobs...) while writing this... I know I said there'd be angst, but I didn't expect THIS. I was thinking a little Blangst and then a nice cuddle maybe, but then Don't Speak happened and I cried a lot and wrote this and jfc I don't know what's going on. hELP**

**PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. I promise I'll make it up to those poor boys and let them have all the cookies and ice cream and Klainebows they want later on.**

**...BUT I JUST. BLAINE CRIED SO MUCH. HE'S SO HURT. KURT IS SO HURT. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH BUT THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED. IT HURTS SO MUCH WHY CAN'T THEY JUST BE HAPPY SIGH.**

**Yeah okay I'll shut up now. I wonder how many people have stopped reading this since I started pouring out my feels in the A/Ns. I'm sorry, angels...**

**Oh well, I'll just go eat my feelings now. Birthday cake, yay!**


	27. Chapter 27

Hello dear readers,

let me start with this: this is not a new chapter.

This was one of my first multichapter fics and now I feel as though it would be weird to continue it as my writing style has changed a lot since I wrote this and I'm just generally a different person now. I've gotten messages from people saying I should update and I am so, so sorry for doing this and keeping you all waiting, but I feel like I have lost inspiration for this fic.

_However_, I do want to know how you feel would be best to end this.

Should I write a final chapter, although it may not be in total sync with previous chapters since it was so long ago I wrote them, or should I leave it like this for you to freely imagine your own ending?

Again, I'm so, so sorry for disappointing you. I hate when people leave fics like this but I have my reasons and I hope you will understand.

So what would you prefer; a somewhat rushed ending that may disappoint, or an open ending for you to imagine yourself?

I love you all and thank you so much for all the support, even though I feel like I may not deserve it right now.


End file.
